Breaking Walls

Sometimes our walls exist just to see who has the strength to knock them down.

-

Dating isn't an idea that Jimin had entertained for the longest time. To him, all he needed was his close friends, work and family and that was enough. His heartbreak felt cold - like concrete drying in his chest. It was unexpected - as most heartbreaks are - on top of the world one minute and cut down the next. That in itself made him build walls around his heart to protect himself from pain and he hadn't allowed anyone around his heart even with a ten foot pole.

That is why he got scared that Jungkook had come crushing into his world and was breaking down his walls without much effort. He gave him that warm fuzzy feeling in his heart and made his stomach turn in knots. While this wasn't even classified as a date, he felt nervous, sweaty and at a loss of what to do with himself. He couldn't tell you when it started to happen but Jungkook had grown on him and he found himself wanting to know what he was all about.

Jungkook on the other hand did not have much experience with dating. After a disappointing end with his high school girlfriend, he had surmised that love - like it is described in fairy tales - was just that, meant for the books and movies. To him, such kind of attraction only existed in the movies. He had wondered if truly love gave one butterflies or made on sweaty and awkward in the presence of their crush. He had never experienced this. Yet, going through it, he couldn't make sense of it. Was it just nerves or had he truly found his one of a kind love?

All the reasons not to do this came flooding in, as if his body chemistry just sent them a blanket invitation. He felt the soft panic that can grow and fill him. All these questions came running through his mind; what if Jimin decided not to show up? What they had nothing to talk about and it got awkward? He could either let the thoughts swirl into a vortex of stupidity and leave or breathe real slow, let the thoughts leak into the ether and be the real boss of him. Even as he braved himself, because he really wanted to do this, his stomach still knotted.

He wasn't alone with the frayed nerves.

Jimin took a deep breath before he opened the door to the cafe. Cafe Place was a cozy high-end restaurant a little ways from their office. He had always loved the place because it suited his tastes. From the way the restaurant was staged to the food to the staff. It had those ceiling to floor windows that let in light. This allowed one to have a view of what was going on outside. The music selection here had always been the best. He had never been disappointed.

The lighting was what brought the whole place together. It was love at first visit for Jimin. No one at the office understood why he went all that way to have lunch so most of the times, he ended up dining alone. Over time it had become his cozy place - for when he was having a crazy day or wanted a little pick me up.

The staff here were friendly and they knew him well. Often times he came here to work when he needed to escape the high pressure environment at work. He had been going there long enough to have a table that was known as his. So when he called today to reserve a table, they placed him at his usual table. It was placed in such a way that when one was seated, they had a full view of the restaurant - they could see the comings and goings as well as have a view of the entire restaurant floor - but anyone coming in wouldn't notice them at first. It was also away from the distraction and noise.

"Hi Minha! It's good to see you again," he smiled as he walked in.

"Mr. Park, it has been a while. Have you been well?" Minha, his favourite server responded.

"Yes I have. Sorry I have been a bit busy these past few weeks. I missed you guys though," Jimin responded as he nodded at the other guys. "How's your daughter?"

"She is great! Such a ball of energy. Keeps me on my toes," he gushed about her.

Jimin laughed at that and after exchanging a few pleasantries, he was shown to his table.

"I am sorry for keeping you," he apologized as he sat down. "I hope you have not been waiting long."

"No no no! I didn't wait for long," Jungkook protested, waving his hands before him. "Looks like you are quite popular here Mr. Park!" Jungkook commented with a smirk on his face.

Rolling his eyes, Jimin settled into his seat and looked over the menu. They went over what was good there and quickly placed an order. Jimin knew what was good here, so he made a few recommendations to his date. After placing their drinks, the server walked away. Now facing each other, alone, they chuckled nervously. It took a few awkward questions but they got the hang of it. Before long, they were swapping stories like old pals and talking about anything and everything. Their food arrived not long after and they got busy eating and marvelling at how good the food was.

So interesting was their conversation that anytime they stopped to laugh they drew the attention of those around them. But all that mattered to them was the fact that they were having such a good time in each other's company. They were in their own little bubble and did not want to end their lunch early. So, they ordered dessert and coffee. Jungkook didn't like the taste of coffee so he ordered a hot chocolate instead.

An hour and a half later, they were back at their desks. It didn't seem like they had enough time to converse and they ended up making plans to grab lunch the next day at one of Jungkook's favourite place. Anyone watching their interaction from a distance would assume that they had known each other for longer than a weekend.

Jimin thanked Jungkook once again for his lovely company through IM. He thought Jungkook was a breath of fresh air. The conversation would go back and forth for over 15 minutes until he had to go to a meeting. He could feel his world changing and it was the kind of change he was willing to welcome.

His new found friend has come crashing into his life without warning and set a momentum that made Jimin feel like he would be running for a while. Still, he didn't want to slow down. It was when he had that thought that he decided to throw caution to the wind and follow wherever his heart let him. It just so happened that it was asking him to open up to Jungkook and that is what he intended to do.

Two floors down, a very excited Jungkook was trying to avoid an equally nosy Soobin who kept whining about him cancelling the pre-arranged lunch on short notice. Jungkook wasn't letting up and Soobin wasn't giving up either.

"If I told you, would you get off my back?" a frustrated Jungkook asked.

"It has to be a reasonable explanation," he responded.

"Before I tell you, you have got to promise that it stays between us," he whispered firmly.

"Pinky promise," Soobin responded and held out his pinky.

"What are you? 5? Promise me you will not say anything?"

"Oh come on! What is this oh so mighty secret that you want me to give a blood bond? I mean it's not like you went on a date with Jimin or something," he said nonchalantly. "Okay! I promise!"

At his statement, Jungkook froze and his eyes flew wide open. He sometimes hated how Soobin had the uncanny ability to hit the nail right on the head. I mean who would have guessed that? All soobin had to do was to read his expression and understand that his assumption had been right. He mirrored Jungkook's expression as he brought his hands to his mouth to cover the gasp.

"You really did go out on a date with him didn't you?" He asked in confirmation.

Jungkook didn't know what to say. He pushed Soobin's chair rolling him away back to his desk, plugged in his earphones in to he shut him out and focused on his work. Soobin cackled as he also focused back on his work. An hour later, his phone rang. It was his childhood friend and flatmate trying to find out how his date had gone. Promising to tell him more about it later that evening, he focused on finishing his tasks for the day. Even, with Soobin occasionally distracting him trying to fish for more information, he managed to go through the afternoon quietly with thoughts of a silver haired boy filling his mind.

-

Jungkook

Back at home, Tae was eagerly waiting for me to get home. He was blowing up my phone with text messages asking when I would get there. My ever lovely friend was up to something and I could see right through it. He only ever got overly involved in my affairs when he wanted something.

I got home at fifteen minutes past six o'clock to a very impatient Tae was waiting with a glass of lemonade at the door as he tapped his foot impatiently. He reminded me of my beloved grandmother back in the village waiting for me at the door to get back from school. I laughed at the uncanny resemblance as I walked to up him at the door. He was playing nice - he wanted something but I decided to let it play out until he got tired of beating around the bush.

"Tae, I know you need something. So, what do you want?" I asked narrowing my eyes.

"Why would you think I need something?" He asked pretending not to know what I was referring to. I gave him an 'are you kidding me look', leaned back into the couch and waited for him to break. He did fidget for a while before he finally caved.

"Okay okay okay... I really really need you get together with Jimin," he said.

"And why would you really really need Jimin and me to get together?" I asked. This was definetly fishy and intended to get to the bottom of it?

"Because IkindasortalikehisfriendHobi and I was hoping you could help me out!" he mumbled through his words.

Since we were kids, whenever we were embarrassed to say something out loud, we would quickly mumble through and hope the other person caught it, or not. In our little brains, that way was less embarrassing. I was struck dumb for a minute or two.

"So that is what this is all about?" I asked. "Oh wow! Ouch! Here I was thinking that you were really happy for me," I clutched my poor heart and pretended to be hurt.

"I am really happy for you babe, you know that," he said. "Really I am. But, could you pretty pretty please with cherries on top help me be happy too?"

"I need details," I said excitedly like a high school girl. This was gossip worthy and I was here for the tea.

"We had a great time on Saturday. And when everyone was busy with each other we got talking and I... I mean he and I just clicked. He is a really fun person to be around. Have you seen that sunshine smile of his? He is absolutely gorgeous. Oh! A great dancer too!" He gushed.

Tae rambled on for the next half an hour about how intriguing he found Hobi and oh my friend had a high school crush on the guy. He had been silently hoping that Jimin could help him get together with Hobi and the only way to do that was if he and I got along well.

Unlike me, Tae had had a little more experience with love. I had been there for it all. From the crushes, to the tears to the withdrawal to the cursing and swearing off relationships and then the cycle would repeat. He was all confident on the outside but so mush and fragile on the inside. I only hoped that he would find the one person who would complement his lovely character and complete him. Maybe that could happen with Hobi.

"Please Tae... I can't promise anything... but I will try on one condition. No screw ups are allowed! Please realize that if you mess it up with Hobi, you could hurt my chances too okay?" I warned him.

"Cross my heart, hope to die," he promised. "I really want something serious really. I am not getting any younger and I think my playboy days are over. So, you will help me?" He asked hopefully.

I nodded.

At that, he jumped at me without warning. Kissing me all over. We wrestled and tickled each other as we fell on the floor. In this moment I realized how much I had missed this - the simple moments with my close friend and confidant. Resting on the floor, we pinky promised to never let out friendship fade despite how busy we got. It felt like we were renewing the vows we had made to each other as kids under an oak tree one summer back in Busan.

Jimin

Hobi called me that evening to remind me of our regular rendezvous on the weekend at his dance studio. He had been practicing this new dance routine and he wanted to see how well it would do as a choreography. As usual, he would teach me the steps and we would practice it out until he had perfected it. He often sought me out and sked my opinion on how to make the choreographies he had better. He was truly a master of his craft and I was proud of him.

One of the reasons I liked him was the fact that he respected me enough to ask for my input. I mean, I wasn't a dance major in school but knowing each other in school and having danced together for that long, I had learned a thing or two about dance, enough to warrant me as a good advisor.

We talked for quite a bit. I filled him in about my date and went over other plans we had in the coming weeks. Hobi and I got together a lot often. We made sure to see each other outside of our busy schedules. It kept us connected. It kept us grounded. He had been a true friend and more during one of the toughest times of my life and I held our friendship in high regard not letting petty life issues get in between us.

I had my usual quite dinner at the kitchen table and for the first time, I realized how lonely my house and my life was. I started to imagine what it would be like if I had a love in my life. I imagined the weekend mornings where we would prepare breakfast together and lounge around lazily around the house. I saw us cook meals as we chased each other around the kitchen like kids. My bath tub could use some company. The couch in the living room would be warmer with two people. I had so much love to give. I wanted to love just as much as I wanted to be loved.

And my thoughts levitated towards him. He was the only one I could see comfortably in my space. No one else but him.

I shook myself out of it not wanting to build castles in the air that would come tumbling down. Time. "Give it time Jimin," I whispered to myself.

I had to agree though. There was something about him that had me drawn like a bee to a flower. He was intoxicating. Lunch had been great and I was thrilled when he suggested we do lunch again the next day at his favourite place. Le Petit Cafe. It sounded fancy and foreign. But even if it wasn't nice, I was sure the company would be great.

***

I was looking forward to seeing him at lunch. After the crazy morning schedule I had had, I needed a break. I needed to unwind before I could handle the remaining duties for the day.

I fell in love with Le Petit Cafe the moment I walked in. What made it even better was the gorgeous man waiting at the table for me. I felt giddy. "I could get used to this," I thought to myself as I walked up to him. You know that feeling when someone is waiting for you? The way their face lights up when they see you walk in and they keep their gaze on you as you walk up to them. It is as if you would disappear if the looked away for a second. That was the feeling I was having - the warmth of it spread through my belly again, into my chest. It had been happening a lot lately. Every time I saw him, whatever troubles and stress I was having would just dissipate. Everyone else faded into the background and it was just him.

He went around the table and pulled up the chair for me. I blushed. Such a gentleman.

After the usual ordering, we filled each other on what we had missed about each other since we had last spoken, which probably had been like a half hour ago over IM. The subject of our conversation varied from work to friendship to our personal lives.

"By the way, what are you doing over the weekend?" I asked him as I bit into meal.

"I have no particular plans. Why?" He asked curiously.

"I was hoping to invite you for something I have this weekend if you are down for it," I responded.

"Sure! What is it?"

"Its a surprise!"

"Is it gonna be fun?"

"Definitely!" I said.

"Then that's all I need to know!" He said cheekily and winked at me.

***

When Hobi had reminded me about the dance session this weekend I had thought of how cool it would be if he came along. It would be a nice way to see him outside of work. Also, doing something that I enjoyed was a nice way to give him insight into my world.

I was also trying to play cupid for my friend seeing as how he and Tae had hit it off at the dinner then there was also the fact he couldn't stop talking about him. It would be nice to see Hobi with someone. A part of me blamed myself for his lack of dating. After he had seen me go through hell and back as a result of my last relationship, I think a part of him was afraid to ever go through that so he never really put his heart into dating anyone. He dated with his head. "The breakups are less painful," he had said.

"Btw, feel free to bring a friend. Like your friend... Tae was it? The more the merrier." I said subtly.

I could tell he wanted to ask for more information but he decided against it. So he said yes and went back to finishing his late lunch. We had been so busy all the morning that we had to push our lunch date by two and a half hours. It was almost three when we managed to step out for lunch.

"Hey Jimin, listen, I am basically done for the day. My team lead said it was okay for me to take the rest of the day off. So, I was wondering if you are free we could..." he hesitated, looked at me and hoped I would get a hint of what he was trying to say. He searched my eyes trying before he said, "It's totally fine if you are not...."

"I'd love to," I cut him off. He didn't need to say anything else. There was a way in which we understood each other without saying anything. It was so weird. "In that case, I will give you the Jimin version tour of Seoul city."

His eyes brightened and nodded in full agreement of my plan.

We took our time to finish lunch. After picking our bags from the office and logging out, we headed into the city. Visiting various places, art galleries, different monuments, home stores to look at different staging ideas. I also took him to the little abandoned streets in the city that I found interesting.

At around 5.30 pm, we had coffee and cake at my favourite cake place.

The sky dusked as our shadows grew long and hard.

"I love to walk along the river in the evenings. It's very therapeutic. So that will be our last stop for the day," I said to him. "I love to watch sunsets at my favourite place. Come on! I'll show you. "I said as we made our way to the park along the river.

"I love sunsets!" He said in glee as he followed closely behind.

"Well. That's one thing we have in common," I said looking back at him, almost running.

"There's so much more we have in common, you just have to pay attention," he responded as we stepped onto the walk-path, off the grass at the park.

Our steps slowed down as we walked along the river.

Jungkook had amazing height. Walking side by side with him made this apparent. I felt a sense of protection when I was with him. We sat on the bench at my favourite spot and silently drifted into our own thoughts as we watched the sun slowly go down. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breathe.

This boy was gorgeous. The golden sun rays fell on his face and illuminated his perfectly defined features. My heart fluttered. I couldn't take my eyes off of him. His chiselled jawline cast a shadow on his long neck. I noticed he had a mole under his nose. I wanted to study this face. I wanted to know every contour, every smile line. I wanted to touch those lips and trace my fingers along them. I wanted to feel those dimples. To stare into those eyes that seemed to carry the entire galaxy in them.

"I agree, this is very therapeutic," he said with his still eyes closed. I looked away. Feeling my heart flutter over and over.

The skies grew dark and we decided to make our way back into the city.

"Come on, I'll drop you home," he said.

"It's a long drive back, I will just take a taxi."

"No way! Consider it as a thank you for giving me a proper tour of the city," he said when he saw that I was about to protest again.

I couldn't say no and so we slowly made our way back to the car walking on the footpath. His hand on his side brushed against mine. An electrifying feeling spread through my body. It was like I had been zapped by a live electric wire.

"Sorry!" He apologized.

I smiled at him to tell him that it was okay. It happened two more times before he said "Screw it!" and took my hand in his intertwining his fingers with mine. None of us said anything. We continued to walk side by side to the car in silence and not for one second did it feel awkward.

Ever the gentleman, he opened the car door for me before he got in and with the city traffic behind us, we were on my way to my house. I must admit, his taste in music was exemplary. They say that you can tell a lot about someone by the type of music they listened to. I felt I could relate to his personality. I liked this man right here. Why did it feel like he was custom made for me?

It's incredible how time flies so fast when you are having a great time. Before long, we were pulling into my driveway. I had opted for a taxi today because I had a lot of material to go over in preparation for a meeting I had earlier this morning so I opted to be driven.

"I had an amazing time today. We should do this again," he said as he opened the passenger door for me. He took my hand in his as we walked to my door.

"Yeah! Me too and I wouldn't mind doing this again," I replied shyly, looking at my hands. He made me giddy.

"Well... See you at the office?"

"Sure!" I responded, and looked up at him, "See you at the office," I added and didn't break eye contact with him.

Without warning, he pulled me into a hug. I fit right into him. My head against his chest. His heart was beating unusually fast and the rhythm of it so calming that I didn't have the mind to pull away. It felt so right - like I belonged in his arms. His warmth radiated on to me. He was cozy. He was home. My home.

"I like spending time with you," he said and his voice reverberated through his chest.

"Me too," I said as I looked up to him and our eyes met. My hands rested on his chest as his rested on my hips. With his gaze, I felt like he could see the very depths of my soul. My heart beat rose and my stomach flipped. There was that warm feeling again pooling into my stomach.

"I could kiss you," he said, leaning in and I felt his breath on my lips.

"I'd want you to," I whispered back. If he wasn't so close, we would have missed it.

His gaze shifted from my eyes to my lips then back to my eyes. And then slowly, for what felt like an eternity, he leaned down and brushed his lips softly and delicately against mine. It was as light as a feather, just long enough for me to inhale his breathe, feel the warmth of his lips and taste his strawberry flavoured lip balm.

Pulling away, he looked deeply into my eyes again, as if asking for permission to do it one more time.

I nodded.

His lips mashed against mine. He kissed me like I wanted to be kissed, like no other had ever kissed me. Soft and moist, hot and breathy. Our lips merged and it wasn't a battle for dominance but for union and closeness and the sharing of one breathe, one sensation, one timeless passionate moment. He pulled me in closer and I stood up on my tippy toes. The heat rose in my cheeks as my tongue touched his, quick, electric and wonderfully delicious. Then firmer, more determined and more curious about the heat that lay deep down in both of us seeking to chase down the elusive liquid lightning that coursed through us.

Right there in my driveway on a warm summer evening, I felt my legs turn to jelly as this gorgeous man slowly pulled away and planted a soft kiss on my forehead.

He had succeeded in breaking my walls.

•••