I can put up with this...

Chapter one.

Katie's POV:

"What do you see when you close your eyes?"... Dr Anderson asked.

With my eyes closed and breathing slow and calm I replied.." I see nothing just darkness, hearing my breathe slow and calm like the sea when its not being troubled".

"What do you think is about to happen right now?"... Dr Anderson asked again with a sly croaking from him.

Not sure of what he meant, I opened my eyes to see him pointing a kitchen knife to my face, shocked and confused I froze on my seat and my breathing hitched and unsteady, wondering what he was up to, I cringed and shook in fear.

" Relax".... He said with a smile as he took the knife off my sight, he cleared his throat as he sat uptight.

"You see when we close our eyes we see nothing but we hear noises and feel things happening around us, sometimes we feel something strange might happen while we're far from reality and that's when we open up our eyes with fear creeping in our mind, gripping our soul telling us creepy things we never want to think about, negativity begins to creep into our heart and we end up feeling depressed, over thinking things and doing things we never wanted to to do.".... He paused to breath and continued

" When you closed your eyes earlier you seemed at rest, caring less about what was going on around you, you were able to focus on yourself, your breathing, your body and your mind was calm, far away from reality only to open up to the curiosity of what was going to happen, letting fear grip you like a child who lost its mother in a crowded park, standing all alone with nobody to help you out, your mind thought of so many possibilities and how painful it will be to die without an achievement.... Let me remind you that being alone will cause you more harm than good, when you have people around you, you'll have less time to be lost in your head letting fear creep into your mind ".... He paused again as he took a gulp of water, he was talking but heavens knows all he's been saying is actually all he's been saying for the past few week of my visitation, being alone will cause me more harm??? How the hell do I not be alone? I have nobody to talk to, mom, dad and siblings all have their lives, my friends have their lives too, James? James' a busy man I can't just wake up one morning and be like yo guys I don't want to be lonely so I'm gonna be with you all day, like man they already think I'm delusional with this they might think I've lost it finally....

" Umm excuse me Dr Anderson".... I had to interrupt him it was getting boring.

"Yes? Any problems, you got a question for me?"..... He asked as he took a sip from the coffee on his table.

" Yes I do"... I replied looking at him with distrust.

"Then spill".... He said with a smile and eagerly waiting for my question.

" Is it that you don't know what else to say that you keep repeating every word for the past few weeks t every session? Or wait"... I paused for a moment when it finally hit me

"Are you a rip off?" I asked with a straight face with anger lurking around my countenance, he gulped immediately at my question, blinking non stop with nothing else to say to me.

"I mean I paid a lot for this session with no improvement, you told me you were gonna give me an exercise to do on a daily basis but got none"..... I planked my face with my palm and groaned loudly

" I've been ripped off again"... But what could I do? I pulled myself up from my seat walked sluggishly to the door, I turned to face the doctor while opening the door....

"You know what? Have a nice life enjoying my sweats and pain, I'll see you in hell".... I said and banged the door behind me as I walked out of his office...it was then I realized the sign on his office door " THERAPPIST" instead of "THERAPIST"....

"Wow what a total knock off, am I really suffering from depression? Well what it is I'm suffering from has won again, I better get my ass outta here before I cause a scene" ... I walked to the park and board a cab home..

*****8:00 PM*******

The stars on the sky shinning in its time, smiling at me or probably mad at me for becoming a prey..

"What??? I didn't plan to live this way, like who in heaven's name wants to be this sick emotionally?".... I said to myself and laid on the sofa at the garden with my smoothie on my hand.

" Katie?".... I heard James call my nlaced"I'm at the garden"... I yelled back

" Hey baby, missed me?".... He asks as he kissed my forehead

"Mmmmhmm"... I replied....." How was work?"... I asked

"Not bad, just getting lots of complaints from my clients"... He said as he slumped on the sofa with me, looking up at the stars with a frustrated sigh escaping his mouth.

" About what?"...I asked enthusiastic of the situation

"Mistakes in the contents, not delivering the job on time, a job well done but lack of funds to pay, and rent's due next week, kitchen's empty, pocket's dry, bank's red"... He said as he heaved a sigh and closed his eyes against the world, I raised my body from my laying position to look at his face, he looked calm and less troubled with a smile of assurance on his face, telling me to not worry about a thing. I sighed as I laid back with a these going on I'm still getting scammed.

" I'm sorry"...I apologized, he opened his eyes and turned his face towards me who was still looking up the sky.

"Sorry? Why's that?"... He asked, I turned to face him with an apologetic look, held his hand on mine...

" I don't know, I just feel like apologizing for whatever it is you're going through, a lot's going on with you and I'm here getting scammed over and over again"... I said with guilt laced over my voice.

"Scammed? Again? How do you mean?"... He asked unsure of what I meant.

" I'm sorry James, I should have asked you before going into it, had a therapy session with a doctor only to discover he was a fake"...

"Therapy session? Why's that? You sick?"... He asked worriedly and angry.

"Won't say I'm sick though, just can't control my emotions, my friends says I'm depressed, so I decided to go for a therapy session but only got scammed first and second time"... I explained solely guilty and feeling sorry.

" Come here baby, you're not depressed, this is our second month together and you've never acted depressed, your friends don't know what they were saying"... He said as he hugged me tightly

"I'm here for you, I'm not going anywhere"... He said again

My heart leapt for joy, I've finally found the only person who understands me and his not going to leave me alone, I smiled wrapped up in his arms.

*Thank you James".... I whispered.

*****Two weeks later******

James POV:

" What does it mean to be delusional? I've asked myself this question countless time and can't come to a full understanding of it, Katie's friends did she was delusional, what exactly makes her delusional?"... I sat on the sofa at the garden, with so many thoughts going through my head...

"James?".... I heard Katie called

" Coming"...I said as stood and walked up to her, she sat on the floor with her back reatig on the wall, her knees hugged to her chest with her hands supporting them. She looked devastated and confused with tears flowing from her eyes, I rushed to her, held her hands as I patted her back with concern.

"What's wrong Katie, talk to me I'm here to listen"... I said with concern.

Still sobbing she looked me in the eyes and said...

" If there was nothing in the world to begin with, would the world be at peace?

With nobody to live, die, happy, be sad, depressed, confused, sick.

No pain, no doom.

Just emptiness and void.

Would the world be a peaceful place instead?"...She asked as she kept sobbing.

For a few seconds I was confused as to where these thoughts are coming from..

"What's the matter with you?"... I asked, could it be someone close to her was hurting?

"We can't use "Forever" for something or someone who's alive.

To "Love" someone forever is "impossible"

To "Lose" someone forever is possible.

And it hurts when "Forever" can only be used for inanimate objects and subjects"....she kept blabbering and left me more confused, what could she be on to? I asked myself in silence.

"Come here"... I said as I hugged her and patted her back slowly till she fell asleep in my arms.

Katie's friends said something about she over thinking a lot of things, reminiscing every pain of her past, reliving her past ordeals, what a pain she's passing through.

Few months into the relationship she's already acting up, how long does she think I can put up with this?

" I can put up with this"..... I self proclaimed.