Starting off with what I liked, I did enjoy the concept of the Originators being somewhat sentient elements that requires their approval to use their power. That was pretty neat. Though I thought it would be used in a more offensive sense. Anyhow, onward with the review.
Writing Quality: For most of the novel, the quality was smooth and crisp. But the repeated words really knocked it down. Which sucks because this section would've gotten 5 stars if it wasn't for that. Allow me to showcase some examples. -Her glare only deepened. -and the sudden wink brightened the glare... (Chapter 1) In one paragraph, smile, smiled, and smile again are used. And in the following paragraph, it's used again. In chapter three, a man is described as beautiful again shortly after the first time. "She wasn't my birth mother. My birth mother-" The second use of birth mother can easily be avoided. (Chapter 6) The phrase "her chest was pounding" is used again a few paragraphs later in chapter 7. -Her one-sided conversation with a frustrated huff of air. Why she was so frustrated with him (Chapter 7) Now this wasn't so bad, until the later chapters. Let's see her, I'll just pick a random chapter, ah 21 will do. The phrase "stormed off" gets used multiple times. Irritation is used three times. In chapter 23, fear gets used 4 times in one paragraph. Four...times. I think that alone showcases the problem with repeating phrases and words. And in the 3rd paragraph of that same chapter, sudden and anger are used again. Wanna know what else is used again? Fear. Now I could go on, but I think the point is clear. Besides using a thesaurus, describing the emotions can help cut down on the repetition.
Stability of Updates: So for this category, I don't worry about when the chapters were released. I focus on the consistency of the chapters. And your chapters were very consistent. Good job :>
Story Development: Alright, so the story laid pretty well. I enjoyed reading through it, though I'm going to lay out so issues I had or things I didn't generally like. Firstly, I'm not a big fan of suddenly dropping a dead family member in media, of anyone really. It makes me feel "oh that sucks" because it's just so sudden. Especially since this is the first chapter and I already know her dad is dead. And the way she's affected is told by words, rather than seeing how it affects her today. And the same thing is done with her mom, except at least there's a description of how it still affects her today in chapter three. It's like I feel "oh that's sad", rather than "oh that's sad!" That's just me though. I would love to the other elements have their time in the spotlight, Illusion was the one we say the most, and I would love to have their story expanded. The Originators are a pretty interesting concept, though they didn't make a huge impact until later in the story, like chapter 12. This is a bit odd as they are mentioned in the beginning of chapter one, and it takes a while before the reader can actually learn about them. So a bit of pacing issue there, but explaining a little bit through dialogue is completely fine. The same is done for the Realms, also mentioned in the beginning of the story. There's such little information on the Realms which hasn't became a relevant topic in the story at all. Now we already spoke about this, so I'll leave it at that. Lastly, seeing how important her Ben and Anne are to her, it'd be nice to see them again in the story. Especially since it's been some time since we've seen them. I'm leaning more towards Anne as I feel she has a much personal connection to her rather than a "lover" like Ben.
Character Design: What can I say, characters are described well. Their descriptions are so vivid that I'd get canceled if I tried doing it with a female character. Although, their clothing isn't described in a similar quality, unless there is a lack of clothing like swimsuits. Which is pretty funny to me. Breasts, buttocks, and the like are described to detail but not clothing. No amount of butt flaps and or the jeans around Ben's butt could save ya, even though it is tempting.
World Background: Environments are described very well, and so are objects. So detailed that it's easy to paint a picture of the scenery you're trying to set. Now if the character designs got this much attention to detail, you'd be golden. With that taken care of, I can definitely say this is a pretty good read, just fix up in the areas I suggested and let the readers view top tier smut. Intrigued to know how the story continues, and if Velori can gain the trust of all the Originators. Now then, tell Hale to get shirtless for me, don't ask.