7. Chapter 7

Here is the next chapter. Sorry in advance it's so long and a little bit all over the place.

The following weeks were hard for both of them. Maya wasn't sleeping more than maybe four hours a night at best. This made her incredibly irritable and led to more than one fight over stupid stuff with Carina.

About a month after she went back to work, everything boiled over. Maya had come home from work grumpy and irritated.

"What's wrong Bella?" Carina asked as Maya walked in the door, clearly irritated.

"I'm fine," Maya said, crutching into the bedroom.

Carina didn't buy it and followed her. She found Maya laying on the floor, doing her physical therapy.

"Bella," Carina said, sitting down next to her, "What's going on?"

"God, Carina," Maya said, her voice starting to raise, "Can't you just leave me the hell alone? I just want to be alone. I'm fine. I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself and I don't need someone constantly checking up on me."

By the end, Maya was yelling.

"Ok," Carina said, nodding as she got up, realizing something was going on and Maya wasn't ready to talk about it, "I am going to go over to Amelia's. When you are ready to talk, just let me know."

Carina grabbed a change of clothes before leaving. Maya just angrily finished her PT, practically smoking as she pushed herself harder than she probably should. When she finished, she was in a lot of pain and still pissed.

Her day had been an absolute nightmare. It had started fine, just her normal desk shift. It annoyed her that everyone at the station always tried to help her with everything because she was perfectly capable of doing it all herself.

However, as she went to go to the bathroom, her crutch hit a slick spot on the floor and she fell, flat on her ass. Her entire team was around her in seconds, trying to help her up. Andy and Vic both saw how frustrated their friend was getting within seconds and sent everyone else away.

"Come on," Andy said as she and Vic helped Maya up, "Is your leg ok?"

"I think so," Maya said, taking her crutches, "It hurts a little bit, but I'm sure it's fine."

"Do you want us to call Carina?" Vic asked.

"No," Maya said, "No, please don't. I'm fine. I just need to go to the bathroom."

"I walk with you," Andy offered, "I need to go to my locker anyway."

"I'm fine," Maya snapped, crutching to the elevator.

They both left her alone and ten minutes later, the alarm went off. Maya continued her desk work, working on some paperwork she offered to do for Andy and Jack.

About four hours after her team left, the door opened. She was on the phone and didn't look up until she finished.

"Dad," Maya said, her eyes wide when she saw the man standing before her, "What are you doing here?"

"Why aren't you out there with your team?" Lane Bishop asked, ignoring his daughter's question.

"Dad, I got injured on the job a few weeks ago," Maya said, pushing her chair back and showing the knee immobilizer, "I can't do my actual job right now."

"You're going to let a little injury keep you from doing your job?" Lane said, laughing, "I thought I raised you better than that. Are you still dating that woman?"

"That's none of your business Dad," Maya said, hearing the barn doors opening, knowing her team was back, "I think it's time for you to do now."

Maya had absolutely no desire for her team to see her dad, knowing it wouldn't end well.

"Maya, you are better than this," her dad said, stepping closer to her, "You've gone soft and I'm sure your mother and that woman your fooling around with are just making it worse."

"Dad," Maya said, trying hard not to escalate the situation, "You need to leave. This is my place of work."

"Well, you don't ever return my calls," Lane yelled.

Just as he took another step toward Maya, the door opened and in walked Jack, Andy, Travis, and Vic, all talking and joking. As soon as they saw what was going on, they stopped.

"Mr. Bishop," Andy said, knowing only she and Jack actually knew who this man was, "Can we help you?"

"I was just coming to check on my daughter," Lane said, "Only to find her sitting lazily at this desk, slacking on her duties."

"Lane, it's time for you to go," Jack said.

"Don't tell me what to do," Mr. Bishop said, "I'm allowed to come see my daughter if I want to."

"You need to go Dad," Maya said, "Now."

"We will call the police," Vic threatened.

"Fine," Lane said, stepping back toward the door, realizing he needed to go, "I'm so disappointed in you, kiddo."

And with that, he walked out the door.

"Don't," Maya said, putting up her hands as they all turned to look at her, "I'm fine. And I swear to God, if you text Carina about this, I will never forgive you. Get back to work…Now."

Maya took a few deep breaths, shoving how she was feeling down. She knew it wasn't healthy. She has spent the past eight months working on not doing it, but she just didn't have the bandwidth to do anything else today. Her father had just berated her in front of her team, and she hadn't done anything to stop it. What would they think of her now?

She felt a familiar tightness in her chest, trying to breath herself out of the oncoming panic attack, but it was hopeless. Just as she was about to get up and go somewhere, Travis walked in.

"Hey," he said, initially just going to make sure she was still ok, but after seeing her face, already knowing the answer to his question, "Ok. Come with me."

Travis guided her down the hall into a conference room, sitting her down in one of the chairs.

"Breath with me Maya," he said, putting her hands on his shoulders so she could feel his breath.

It took a good five minutes, but eventually the panic attack stopped.

"Sorry," Maya gasped out, trying to stop the crying that always followed a panic attack.

"It's ok," Travis said, shaking his head, "Are you ok?"

"Yeah," she said, nodding as she wiped her eyes, "I'm fine. You can get back to work."

"Alright," he said, not totally believing her, but also not wanting to push the obviously exhausted and cranky woman, "Do you need anything?"

"No," Maya said, shaking her head, "Could you not tell anyone about this though?"

"I guess," Travis said, though he was already thinking he should tell Vic just so she could keep an eye on the injured woman at home.

He headed back to work, Maya taking a few more shaky breaths before going back to the desk. For the rest of the afternoon and evening, someone came to check on her every thirty minutes at least which really started to irritate her. She finished her desk shift, skipping dinner because of a call she got that took a long time.

"Want me to make you a plate?" Vic asked, coming down the steps.

"I'm good," Maya said, shaking her head as she repacked her bag, "I'm going to head home."

"Alright," Vic said, eyeing her roommate, knowing she wasn't ok, "Well, I will see you in the morning."

Maya nodded, crutching out the door.

She had then driven home, blown up at Carina, and found herself alone on the couch, watching some stupid movie in a terrible mood. Her knee hurt because she pushed too hard with her PT, her head hurt from all the emotions of the day, and her body hurt from her fall earlier.

She tried to just focus on what she was watching, but she just couldn't get into it. She was still too mad to text Carina so she just sat on the couch, half watching her movie, half scrolling through Instagram. She lost track of time, spending much of the night replaying the day, beating herself up for not doing more to stop her dad.

She didn't even realize how much time had passed, but suddenly the front door opened. She looked behind her, hoping it was Carina, but seeing instead that it was Vic.

"What are you doing here?" Maya asked, confused.

"I live here?" Vic questioned.

"Aren't you working though?" Maya asked.

"Well, shift ended so I came home?" Vic said, going over to her friend, "What's going on?"

"I think I was up all night?" Maya said, rubbing her eyes as she looked at her phone, shocked that it was 8:30 am.

"Carina didn't try to make you sleep?" Vic asked, sitting down next to Maya.

"Carina left," Maya mumbled, not looking at Vic.

"Like left left?" Vic asked, "Like forever?"

"No," Maya said, shaking her head, "No, I was a bitch last night when I got home, which has been happening a lot lately, and she spent went to spend the night at Amelia's."

"Did you tell her what happened yesterday?" Vic asked, putting a hand on Maya's back, pretty sure the answer was no because Carina would never leave Maya if she knew.

"No," Maya said, shaking her head, "I'm fine."

"Except you're not Mai," Vic said, shaking her head, "Yesterday was rough. Travis told me you had a panic attack, and before you get mad at him, he was worried about you."

Maya nodded, knowing Travis did the right thing.

"Call Carina," Vic said, "Or I will."

Maya nodded, grabbing her phone and texting her girlfriend, telling her she was sorry and asking if she would come home.

"Do you want me to sit with you until she get back?" Vic asked.

"I'm ok," Maya said, shaking her head.

"I'm going to go make some breakfast," Vic said, "You hungry?"

"Maybe," Maya said, shrugging, "I haven't eaten since lunch yesterday."

"Ok," Vic said, shaking her head, "I'm going to make pancakes and you are going to eat some."

Maya nodded, staring down at her phone, waiting for Carina to text her back.

A minute later, her phone dinged with just one word: ok.

Maya took a deep breath, not able to determine what that meant which just sent her anxiety soaring. She spaced out until Vic walked over, handing her a plate of food.

"Eat," Vic said, sitting down next on the other couch, "Is Carina coming back?"

"I think so," Maya said, taking a small bite of food, "All she said was ok so I don't really know."

"She'll come back," Vic said, nodding as she ate her food.

Maya nodded, just kinda playing with her food instead of eating it, her brain working on overdrive. She was pulled out of her thoughts when the door opened.

"Hello," Carina said, walking in, seeing both Vic and Maya sitting on the couch.

"I am going to go…do something in my room," Vic said, getting up, "Maya, you done?"

"Yeah," Maya said, handing Vic her basically full plate of food, "Thanks."

"Let me know if you guys need anything," Vic said, throwing the plates in the dishwasher before heading down the hall.

"Thanks," Maya called before looking at Carina, "Come sit?"

"You look terrible," Carina said, sitting down next to Maya, "What's going on?"

"First, I want to say I'm sorry," Maya said, taking a deep breath, "I was a bitch yesterday and you didn't deserve it. I shouldn't have lashed out at you. I had a really bad day yesterday and I took it out on you and I'm sorry."

"I forgive you," Carina said, brushing a piece of hair off Maya's face, "Now, do you want to talk about what happened yesterday?"

"I…well, first, I fell," Maya said with a sigh, "I'm fine. Or I think I'm fine. I'm sore, but I think I hurt my ego more than anything else."

"Do you want to go to the hospital and get an x-ray, just to be safe?" Carina asked, clearly worried.

"I think it's ok," Maya said, shrugging, "If it still hurts tomorrow, we can go in."

"So you were grumpy because you fell and it scared you?" Carina asked, still trying to figure out what had caused the "Maya meltdown" the night before.

"No," Maya said, shaking her head, "My dad showed up at the station yesterday."

"What?" Carina said, eyes wide with rage, "Why?"

"Well, it started because he wanted to talk to me, but I have his number blocked," Maya said, "And then he started yelling at me for being lazy and weak and slacking off on my job and my team walked in while he was doing it and they had to get him to leave. I felt like such an idiot, a loser. I couldn't handle him and they saw it and then I had a panic attack and Travis had to calm me down. I feel like in one fell swoop, I lost all the respect I spent the past 9 months building and I'm so tired and everyone keeps checking on me and trying to do things for me and I hate it. I just want to feel normal again and I want my dad to leave me the hell alone and I want to sleep and I want to stop snapping at you because I love you."

"Maya," Carina said, lifting her chin to for her to look her in the eyes, "Why didn't you tell me yesterday?"

"I don't know?" Maya said, rubbing at her swollen eyes, "It's embarrassing that I can't deal with my dad. You are so good at dealing with yours. And everyone keeps trying to do things for me, and I can do them myself and it just makes me feel even less capable than I already am because of this stupid knee."

"Oh Bella," Carina said, wrapping her arms around her girlfriend, "First of all, I moved half way across the world to get away before I got 'good' at dealing with my own father. And your team will not think any less of you because of how your father treats you. You are who you are today in spite of how he treated you. And we are all checking on you because we care about you. We want you to get better and not have to worry about anything but that. I'm sorry it bothers you. I will try to back off, but Bella, you are going to have to ask if you need help."

Maya was quiet against Carina's chest.

"What are you thinking?" Carina asked after a few minutes.

"I don't know," Maya said, wiping the tears from her eyes as she looked at Carina, "I'm just so overwhelmed."

"I know," Carina said, wiping a tear from Maya's cheek, "Is there anything I can do?"

"Can you help me with my PT?" Maya said, yawning, "And then maybe a nap. I accidentally stayed up all night."

"Oh Maya," Carina said, shaking her head, "Yes, let's get your knee stretched, and then you need to sleep."

It only took about a half an hour before Maya and Carina were in bed.

"I'm sorry I made you leave yesterday," Maya said as she laid with her head on Carina's chest.

"I forgive you," Carina said, kissing Maya's forehead, "I just wish you would have told me what was going on. I thought we had moved on from you shoving it all down and then blowing up."

"I know," Maya said, pushing herself up to look at Carina, "I'm sorry."

"It's ok," Carina said, kissing her gently, "But you have to talk to me. We cannot take steps back."

"I know," Maya said, nodding as she bit her lip, "I'm really struggling right now. I'm so anxious sometimes it feels like my skin is crawling and I can't sleep and I feel bad all the time."

"Oh Bella," Carina said, wrapping her arms tightly around her girlfriend.

She was worried about this, knowing that running was how Maya best dealt with her anxiety normally, but she didn't realize it had gotten so bad.

"Have you told Dr. Lewis how bad it's been?" Carina asked gently.

"Not really," Maya said, shaking her head.

"You need to," Carina said, "She can help you better than I can."

Maya nodded, knowing her girlfriend was right. They just sat there for a while, Carina humming softly as she held Maya.

"You need to sleep Bella," Carina said, pressing a kiss to Maya's temple.

"I don't know if I can," Maya said truthfully.

"Maya, you have barely slept all week," Carina said, "How about I put on some music and we just relax in bed?"

Maya nodded as Carina grabbed her phone, putting on their favorite playlist.

"How was your night with Amelia?" Maya asked as Carina put down her phone.

"Well, she went to bed about an hour after I got there," Carina said, laughing, "But I actually didn't sleep very well either. I was too worried."

"I'm sorry," Maya said, feeling the shame and blame of keeping her girlfriend from sleep fill her body.

"Hey," Carina said, "No. I made my choice to stay. I could have come home, but I decided not to. It's my own fault I didn't sleep. It's in the past, let's leave it there."

Maya nodded, but she was still unable to shake the feelings. They just laid there, Carina trying to help Maya calm down.

"Maya," Carina said after about an hour, "How about we try one of the breathing exercises Dr. Lewis gave you?"

"I tried," Maya said, "More times than I can count last night. They don't work."

"Maya, I can literally feel the anxiety coming off of you," Carina said, "You need to sleep. I think you might need to take something."

"I hate that you're right," Maya said, feeling herself tear up.

"Hey," Carina said, "It's ok to admit that you need help. Right now, your body is going through a lot, and it's ok that your brain isn't functioning like you are used to."

Maya nodded, wiping at her tears as Carina got up, grabbing Maya's sedative prescription and bringing it into the bedroom.

"Hey," Carina said, sitting down next to her, "Why the tears?"

"I don't know," Maya said angrily.

"That's ok," Carina said, handing Maya the pill and ignoring her tone, "Just take this, it will help."

Maya nodded, swallowing the pill before leaning back on her pillow, Carina just holding her as the tears continued to flow. Eventually, Maya nodded off, eyes closing as she fell asleep.

Maya eventually did tell Dr. Lewis about how bad everything really was. Diane gave her more exercises to try and other things in an attempt to help, not nothing was really doing much. The last time Maya could remember sleeping for more than 4 hours without some kind of medication was before her accident.

She tried really hard not to blow up at Carina anymore, but there were still a few times that all her frustration and exhaustion bubbled over, and she found herself yelling at the woman she loved so much. Fortunately, Carina was understanding, and they managed to work through it.

Four weeks later, the day came for her next appointment with Link.

"How are you feeling?" Carina asked as she walked with Maya into the hospital.

"A little nervous," Maya said honestly, "I really want him to clear me for walking, but I'm worried I won't be."

"Whatever happens, you are going to be just fine," Carina said reassuringly as they got into the elevator.

Maya nodded as they headed to the office. Maya was taken back quickly for x-rays before waiting in a room for Link.

"Good morning ladies," Link said, walking in.

"Just tell me, Link," Maya said, not able to take the waiting anymore, "Can I start waking or not?"

"So your x-rays look really good," Link said, pulling them up on his iPad, "The bones is pretty much completely healed. I am going to clear you for walking with 50% of your weight for the next two weeks, and then you are free and clear to start all normal activities."

"Really?" Maya said, eyes lighting up.

"Yep," Link said, nodding, "When do you have PT next?"

"In about an hour," Maya said, "I made the appointment then hoping you would clear me."

"Good," he said, "He should be able to help you figure out how to do a 50% weight bare. I want to see you back in about a month for one last check, but you look really good."

"Thank you so much Link," Maya said, grinning from ear to ear.

"Of course," he said, "I will see both of you in a few days for Amelia's party?"

"Wouldn't miss it," Carina said, nodding as Maya got her brace back on. Link left and Carina turned to look at her girlfriend.

"I'm going to start walking again!" Maya almost squealed, causing Carina to laugh.

"Yes you are," Carina said, going over and kissing her, "Come on. Let's go grab some lunch before your PT appointment."

Maya nodded, getting up on her crutches. They walked out of the hospital, Maya practically beaming. Carina smiled as they got in the car, feeling like she was finally getting close to getting her girlfriend back. Maya was beyond happy after her PT appointment, finally able to put some weight on her leg.

Once she got the hang of walking around the apartment, she inisited on going for a walk outside.

"Only if I can come," Carina said, smiling a little as Maya tied her shoes.

"I won't say no to that," Maya said, getting up and grabbing her crutches.

They walked for almost an hour, Carina worried that Maya was going to hurt herself, but the blonde was insistent that she was fine.

"All I want is to wear myself out," Maya said as Carina asked again if she was ok, "I just want to be able to sleep, and I finally have a healthy way of making that happen."

"I know," Carina said, nodding as they headed back home, "I just want you to pace yourself."

"I will," Maya said, "I promise."

They made it home, Maya going to shower while Carina made dinner.

"I feel so good right now," Maya said, smiling as they sat down to eat, "I haven't felt like this since before the accident."

"I'm so happy for you Bella," Carina said, leaning over and kissing her girlfriend.

Unfortunately for Maya, being able to get out and walk didn't solve her sleeping issues as much as she hoped.

When she woke up at three am after a nightmare, she couldn't even try to stop the tears that came. This woke Carina almost immediately, the brunette flicking on her light and looking at her girlfriend.

"What's going on?" she asked, sleepily as she pulled Maya close.

"I just want to be able to sleep," Maya said, unable to control the sobs, "I thought I would finally be able to sleep."

"Oh Bella," Carina said, pressing a kiss into Maya's messy hair as she tightened her grip.

"I can't do this anymore Carina," Maya sobbed, "I'm so tired and I thought I would finally be able to sleep once I could move again."

"I know," Carina said, leaning them back against the pillows, "I know."

Maya just cried for a long time, releasing what was weeks of bottled up emotions. Eventually, the sobs quieted and the tears stopped, but they didn't move from their spot, Carina just playing with Maya's hair.

"You should go to sleep," Maya said after a while, "I'm just gonna go camp out on the couch again."

"No," Carina said, shaking her head, "You are going to stay in bed. We can watch something or listen to something or talk, but you need to stay here and rest."

Maya nodded, not really wanting to leave Carina's warm embrace.

"Can you put on our playlist?" Maya asked, rubbing her eyes.

Carina didn't say anything, simply grabbing her phone and putting on their shared Spotify playlist, a mix of their favorite music.

"I just want to be better," Maya said after a while.

"And you will be," Carina said, "But it's going to take time. Your body went through a lot of trauma and so did your mind. It's not just going to get better because you started walking again."

"I know," Maya said, tears filling her eyes again, "I got too optimistic too fast which made the letdown so bad."

"I'm sorry Bella," Carina said, rubbing her back. "It's going to get better one day."

They continued just laying in bed, Carina nodding off for a little bit, but for the most part, they just laid in each other's arms, enjoying being close to one another.

Over the next month, things slowly got better. Her leg continued to heal and after two weeks, she had ditched the crutches and soon after the brace. Her mental health got a little better every day too and while she still wasn't sleeping well, she was slowly adding minutes to her nightly sleep.

A week after she started walking without crutches, Maya was up on a treadmill at physical therapy to attempt running for the first time.

"We are going to start slow," Doug said, knowing how much Maya loved speed, "You are not going to hit your Olympic winning speed any time soon."

"I know," Maya said, already walking slowly, "But I want to see if I can actually run."

Doug slowly increased the speed until Maya was lightly jogging.

"How does it feel?" he asked, watching her carefully.

"Weird," Maya said, trying to concentrate on getting her knee to move how she needed it to.

Suddenly, her knee gave out, causing her to grab the treadmill handles to stop herself from falling. Doug quickly stopped the machine.

"What just happened?" she asked, rubbing her knee.

"Your body isn't used to this yet," he said, helping her down, "And your muscles are nowhere near what they were. You're probably going to have issues like that for a long time."

"Well that sucks," Maya said with a sigh, "How do I stop it?"

"Strengthening your muscles and working it," Doug said, "It will get better, but it's going to take time."

"Are you feeling up to running outside?" Maya asked Doug, knowing the physical therapist was also a pretty avid runner, "I think it might be easier than trying to not fall on that thing."

"Sure," Doug said, nodding as they headed outside.

Maya felt better running outside, able to set her own pace. Her knee gave a few times, but she managed not to fall.

"Nice work today Captain Bishop," Doug said as they headed back inside.

"Thanks," Maya said, sweaty and a little out of breath.

"When do you see Dr. Lincoln next?" Doug asked.

"Next week," Maya said, "He just wants one more set of x-rays."

"Well, I am thinking we might be close to done too," Doug said, "I mean, your gait is good, you're starting to run again. I mean, I can still see you if you want, but I'm not sure how much more we can do. The rest is basically just going to be on you and your body. I want to see you one more time just to make sure you're good to go back to active duty once Link clears you, but after that, I think you will be good." "Really?" Maya asked, smiling a little. "Yeah," Doug said, "Make one more appointment for after you see Link and then we will be good to go." "Thanks Doug," Maya said, heading to the front desk.

Three weeks later, Maya was again struggling to fall asleep. However, this time, instead of anxiety keeping her up, it was excitement.

"I can't believe I'm actually going back to work tomorrow," Maya said out loud as she and Carina laid in bed.

"I know," the Italian said, kissing Maya's cheek gently, "And as much as it scares me to have you back out there, I'm happy for you."

Maya moved, leaning in to kiss Carina on the lips.

"I promise I will be careful," Maya said, cupping Carina's face in her hands.

"I know," Carina said, nodding, "I trust you."

Maya smiled as Carina kissed her again, knowing that it had taken them a long time to get back to a place where Carina trusted her again so hearing her say it meant so much.

"Now," Carina said, "You need to sleep so that you are ready for work tomorrow."

Maya nodded as they relaxed back into their bed wrapped in each other's arms.

Maya didn't sleep much that night, but unlike the months of not sleeping that happened while she was injured, she didn't feel like complete and utter garbage when she got out of bed the next morning.

She got up early, stretching her knee before heading out the door to run. She was still pretty slow, and every so often, her knee would give on her, but she was up to running six miles in a little over an hour and a half which she was happy with, at least for now.

She made it back home about an hour before her shift was supposed to start, finding the apartment empty. Vic had told her the night before that she was going biking with Travis before shift this morning, but she wasn't sure where Carina was. She found her answer in the form of a note on the kitchen counter. Apparently, Carina got called in for some big trauma. She told Maya to have a good first day back and that they would celebrate the following evening.

She showered before grabbing a cup of coffee and heading out the door. She wanted to get to the station early to go over everything she had missed. She already had a meeting scheduled with Herrera and Gibson later in the day, but she wanted to get a handle on it before that.

She walked into the station and into her office, unpacking her bag before sitting down at her desk. She went over some of the files from the past few days as well as their budget reports and inventory lists.

Soon enough, it was time for shift to start so she straightened her shirt before heading up to the beanery. When she walked in, she saw her entire team standing in front of the table.

"What's going on?" she asked, walking in.

"Welcome back Captain!" Vic said as they all moved to reveal a huge breakfast spread.

"You guys didn't have to do this," Maya said, smiling.

"Well, it wasn't exactly our idea," Travis said, earning a confused look from Maya.

Suddenly, she felt a pair of arms wrap around her waist, making her jump a little before she smelled the familiar perfume.

"What are you doing here?" Maya said, spinning around to face her girlfriend.

"You didn't think I would miss your first day back at work?" Carina asked, smiling.

"You planned this?" Maya asked.

"Si," Carina said, nodding as Maya leaned up to give her a small kiss, earning a groan from her entire team.

"Oh shut up," Maya said, smile still on her lips.

"Let's eat," Dean said as he set the last plate of food on the table.

The all sat down, digging in to the food. Just as they finished, the alarm went off.

"Thank you for all of this," Maya said, leaning in to give Carina a quick kiss, "I love you."

"I love you too," Carina said as she watched all of them leave, "Be safe. And watch out for holes in the floor!"

So there was the end of this story! I hope you liked it! Tomorrow, starts another two-shot. I can't believe it's less than a week before Station and Grey's come back! I'm so ready!