Chapter 31

It's churchin' time! Being the church hasn't sent any other representatives I figure I should go claim what my father left me! The whole church! Well I won't aim for the top right away, but I should be able to steal all of the church's power eventually! The church gets its power from the people, not quite like a democracy. Because god gets all of the votes, but they wouldn't function without people believing in the religion. And they need people to pay for the church's services. The main reason churches make money is because of religion and pride. If a noble has money and wants to flex their power they give it to the church! Why? So they can not just waste money but get the churches support! If the church has the common people under its banner then if a noble is close with the church they are less likely to be overthrown!

Now if they are openly horrible people then they are screwed. Revolts don't just mean villagers with pitchforks, guards can handle them. But assassins! You should never fear a blade you can see, because if you can see it you can attempt to run. But, you can turn from hidden blades forever! God! I am a f*cking poet! But! Back to the church. I have a guard find a carriage and a group of guards to escort us. Us being me and Eve. I am not leaving her that far from me. I don't trust her guard much but he should be able to delay whatever is happening. So that I can run from the training grounds to Eve. But on this trip that's not possible! By carriage it's around 20 minutes or about 10 minutes walking. Because unlike other nobles I will not be speeding my carriage through town, crushing every person in my path.

I would hate to give my old man extra work! War is a pardon! I can kill as much as I want during fights! This is not a war! This is a trip. A trip full of time to talk with Eve and slowly cement the idea that I am her dad and that Miquel is weak, stupid, talentless, arrogant, sickly and that he has a faint heart. I should be able to do that in 20 minutes! If I can take a life in 10 seconds then I can leave a lasting impression in 20 minutes!

"So Eve are you excited to pray?"

"Father told me that the church is just a way to look good."

"So do you believe in god?"

"Should I?"

"Yes! In fact he's my father!"

"Miquel said you're a liar."

"Only liars try to throw other people under the bus."

"Really? Wait. What's the bus?"

"A mode of transportation."

"Can we ride in it next time?"

"No, why?"

"Father said I can't bring a pillow into the carriage. It really hurts without a pillow."

"Next time ask me if you need something!"

"Why?"

"I would have gotten you a pillow!"

"But that's improper."

"Not when you're with me!"

"That doesn't make sense."

"It does!"

"Ugh!"

"Ugh?"

"Tch."

"Huh?"

"Tch, tch, tch."

What's with the tongue clicking? Is she being rebellious? She's normally so sweet! Now she's acting like a noble daughter that gets spoiled way too much.

Maybe she doesn't like the church? Maybe she has a bad relationship with god? I'm sure I can mend that! Grandpa and granddaughter together for- were here!

We arrive in front of a huge chapel, white, stained glass the whole spiel. But I'm pretty sure during this time period glass was of a horrible quality, but colored glass was a pipe dream. But they didn't have pipes either. Maybe magic gives people better brains? I know after coming to this work my brain feels better! Minus the swirly tornado. That could be why this world is ahead of where it should be. Back to the church it looks pristine! But it looks like there is a built in set of stairs on the side so they can climb to the top. Which I assume is for cleaning, it takes a bit away from the estetic. But they incorporated it quite well.

We walk inside and are greeted by a bustling interior. Lots of people talking and hugging, a few people in priest robes giving handshakes? I think? Either that or they are passing drugs. It looks like their hands are doing the jig then holding onto each other for dear life. Which is now etched into my head. Maybe it's the church's greeting? The priests are wearing square necklaces separated into triangles. I assume that's their cross? It looks cool-ish. But they don't look very well made. A few people who don't look to be priests are wearing necklaces with one triangle.

I walk up to a priest and ask for him to bring me and Eve to the highest ranking church official. Which he does. Why does he? I have no idea. Maybe he's naturally trusting? Did he see me ride a carriage? Why am I so caught up on this? Dunno. It just seems like he shouldn't have just started walking us to his boss. It's unsafe. Whatever helps me! He led me to a middle aged man who is wearing green robes. The man looked at me and then nodded to the preist leading us. The priest walked away from us. The man spoke up before I could talk.

"Are you near to make a donation to the church?"

"No."

"I see, may I ask why you wanted to see me?"

"I am the son of god."

"You do know what you are saying is sacrilege and I should have you fed to eagles right?"

I summon fire into my hand and cycle between fire and lightning.

"I can control holy fire and godly lightning."

"A-are you really the son of god?"

"Yes."

"I greet you and apologize for my transgressions! Please pardon me! But if you require, please let me take my own life, to atone for my sin."

"You are pardoned."

"I thank you for your grace!"

Is he gonna keep talking like that? No! He would talk like that I am that great after all!