Phoenix
Dear Readers, It's Author here. I hope all of you are quite liking this book. kindly drop your precious comments and suggestions herein. I will be happier to reply back. Also, the book is a slow-burn one, with lots of characters and plots, so, be with me in this journey. For more queries, you can follow me on instagram.
I’m sorry I don’t even know where to begin. The first two chapters were so cringe worthy that I couldn’t even continue. Now don’t get me wrong I‘m well aware writing a story isn’t simple. Have enough imagination to paint a picture with words is not all that easy but this is too much. The way you wrote this makes me think you’ve never read a story…..ever. You don’t list the characters off, you introduce them throughout the story. If you are going to bring in real life events then do your research in the means of being accurate. There was nothing fluid about this. Everything was all over the place. I hope in the future you take examples from real life published books and see how the characters are brought to life, how the scenes are built and how the story flows.
I some times wonder if I am reading the same book as other's based on reviews. I could only read through chapter three. I hope maturity allows the author to develop as a writer. The premise that a 20 year old has to rush out of her college course to respond to a request she just received to design a weapon...and the customer who called her does not know who she is when she arrives...and she is casually directed by the first floor receptionist to hurry and and an executive's office??? I can accept this is a world of supernatural beings but to ask me to believe that ANY business is conducted this way? The author has to first create a reality that a reasoning reader can accept before we can accept any further fictional constructs.