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Chapter 34 "Azra, please just tell me… If there's something you want to tell me, then tell me, alright? You don't have to try and hide your emotions…" He insisted once more when he saw me continue to avoid his questioning gaze. I remained silent, refusing to meet his pleading gaze. "You… Can you tell me what happened? Was it something I did? Please, just tell me…" I heard him whisper brokenly. This was exactly what I feared the most. This fear of mine getting him involved, of him losing faith in me completely. It seemed that I could never escape it. No matter where I went, it seemed that I would eventually stumble across someone who believed that I deserved their mistrust and their hatred. It seemed that no matter how hard I fought against it, I was going to end up hurt yet again. "Azra? Say something…" He begged once more, but I still refused to respond. The fact that this was happening to me, the fact that I had been given a second chance at living and I didn't even deserve it… That was something which terrified me to no end. "Please, Azra… Let me help you…" He pleaded, but I remained quiet. It wasn't enough. It simply wasn't enough to stop the tears that began to well up again. It was as though his mere presence was somehow enough to cause a flood of them to burst forth once more, streaming down my face uncontrollably. I didn't know what to do. I didn't want this. I didn't deserve this. All I asked of them was a simple life with him. They were happy together. They had been happy, hadn't they? But apparently, they didn't want that anymore. Apparently, they didn't even want him, either. I wasn't surprised. I was angry. So angry. Why didn't they just choose each other? Why was it always me?! "Oh, angel…" His voice broke as soon as he took me in his arms. Everything seemed so hopeless. Everything seemed so pointless. I felt as though I could cry forever, as I felt my heart breaking. But I couldn't allow myself to cry. I couldn't allow myself to fall apart while everyone I cared about was suffering around me. I was supposed to be strong. I was supposed to be the brave one. I could handle everything. Maybe I could try to push everything to the back of my mind. Perhaps I could convince myself that this wasn't my fault. After all, how could I possibly blame myself for everything? This wasn't my fault... It couldn't have been. Even when they had decided to leave, this wasn't my doing. This wasn't my fault. None of it was my fault. But as I sat there sobbing in the arms of the man I love, a horrible thought crossed my mind: What if it was? What if it really was my fault? What if this was some kind of cruel joke? Was this all some part of my punishment for falling in love with someone who clearly hated me? Maybe it was all a cruel ploy for revenge? Maybe I deserved whatever they had planned for me and maybe this was some sort of twisted form of hell… Or perhaps I wasn't meant to fall in love with them in the first place… Maybe I wasn't meant to love them… They were gone now. There was nothing for me to hold onto. Nothing for me to cling onto, for me to fight for, to save. No hope, no light, no love. Just endless, dark darkness. I had to be strong for everyone else. I had to be strong for him… For them… "Do you really want to be alone right now?" He asked softly after some time passed and I had managed to calm myself down slightly. "I don't know," I admitted. "Just don't go." "We're not going anywhere. You're gonna sit here and talk to me until you feel better and I'll make us hot chocolate. Okay?" He suggested, gently rubbing my back as I nodded my head slightly. We sat on opposite ends of the sofa and I watched him carefully as he grabbed two mugs off of my coffee table and prepared both of them. When he turned round and handed me my mug I almost jumped out of my skin. I hadn't noticed the fact that I had fallen asleep and ended up sprawled over onto the armchair. I slowly moved from the seat and walked over to the couch. I sat down next to him, trying to be careful not to spill my hot beverage as I wrapped my arms around him. I rested my head on his shoulder as I stared at my mug. "Do you wanna watch the new season of The Office?" He asked, nudging me slightly to gain my attention. I didn't reply and just leaned further into his side to enjoy the warm embrace of being close to him. He wrapped his free arm around my waist and pulled me closer towards him, allowing me to rest my head on his shoulder. I closed my eyes as his body warmth seeped through my jumper. I sighed as I placed my head on his shoulder and allowed sleep to pull me under.