Chapter 32

The way Shinobu's open expression immediately shutters nearly makes you flinch. The warmth in her eyes recedes, leaving behind a calm stillness that reminds you of how she looked when she first met. Polite, but distant. A beauty that isolates.

Shinobu disappears in the next blink in a shifting blur of black, and you turn along with the scrape of cloth on your cheek. The crack in the door is wider, opened to roughly the width of half an arm. Shinobu has bent her knee to the ground, a stance that means she has extended a hand to Kanao.

"Kanao," Shinobu says gently, "Would you step inside for a moment?"

You look over Shinobu's shoulder. Kanao is staring openly at her older sister. You are standing too far to determine the exact expression she's wearing, but you can tell from her figure that Kanao is stiff as a board. Shinobu probably notices it as well because when she speaks again, it is in a soft and coaxing voice like the sprinkling of first snow.

"Please don't look so worried, Kanao," Shinobu says. "We only wish to speak with you about what you saw."

You strain your ears to catch Kanao's reply. Your stomach wrenches sharply when none is forthcoming. Would Kanao reject Shinobu? And if she does, would it because of you? Her abrasive attitude is still stark in your mind, her words echoing in your ears like a lingering scream.

Shinobu rises to her feet. You release a hidden breath when she steps aside to let Kanao in. Though you didn't hear even a whisper of a reply, Kanao must have agreed. She wouldn't be acting this docile, otherwise.

Shinobu shuts the door and leads Kanao across the lab, matching the girl's pace of small and tentative steps. You swiftly back up to make space for them to pass, and when they do, you spy one of Kanao's hands clasped loosely within Shinobu's. Her other hand hangs limply at her side, fist clenched. You don't have to wonder what it is, what else could it be other than her copper coin?

You step around the low table and walk towards Shinobu as she settles Kanao into one of the laboratory's guest chairs, a comfortable piece of carved maple lined with cushions. The moment you come within an arm's reach of them, a cutting glare bursts forth from Kanao's angular face. It is far more intense than the one she shot you during dinner, probably because you're within stabbing distance. The difference now, though, is that Shinobu sees everything. She doesn't have to acknowledge it for you to know. Kanao isn't exactly being subtle.

You weather Kanao's murderous intent with aplomb, coming to a stop several feet away. She visibly struggles to get comfortable in your presence, her hands clenching and unclenching at your slightest movement. The glow from the wall lamps catches a glint of copper in her palm, and as if having forgotten about her coin, Kanao takes it out to rub it soothingly with her thumb and index finger.

Seeing her younger sister's quiet surliness, Shinobu thankfully takes the lead to break the ice. "Kanao," she begins, "I know you have plenty you'd like to say, but I hope you will first listen to what we have to say before drawing your own conclusions."

Shinobu gives you a nod. "Ryuu, could you start with when you made the decision to court me? So that Kanao knows when the exact timeline of when and how our relationship began to change."

Embarrassing as her request sounds, you instantly understand Shinobu's intent. You quash the urge to sweep her into a hug. Silently thanking Shinobu for giving this chance, you clear your throat to speak. "That would be no trouble at all."

The floor is tatami, not as painful as dirt or gravel, but far less painful than what you'd have to endure to obtain another chance to change Kanao impression of you. You favour Kanao with a serious look and drop to your knees, bringing your legs under them until you sit in a straight-backed, upright pose.

A brief glimmer of surprise breaks through Kanao's seething apathy, the perfect opening. You seize it.

"As you might have heard, Kanao-san, me being able to work Shinobu-sama was a blessing given by Ubuyashiki-sama. Before that, it was unthinkable that I would be working closely with any of the Pillars. There is nothing to say about how I met Shinobu-sama except that it was a ridiculously good turn of fortune for me."

Kanao's eyebrows knit together as she listens. Based on what you know about Aoi and the other girls at the Butterfly Mansion, you don't doubt Kanao has similarly keen intellect. Though she's the only one you haven't seen helping out in the wards, you know it is impossible for someone directly under Shinobu to be a fool. You are not Fuji. Age is not a deciding factor when it comes to intelligence.

Seeing that Kanao is following, you continue, "Working with Shinobu-sama is the greatest favour I can think of, I was more than happy to accept her offer to continue our partnership after Ubuyashiki-sama's tasks were completed. The longer I worked with Shinobu-sama, the more… keenly I felt towards her."

You would be blushing if your head wasn't buzzing with tension. Kanao's frown seems to grow deeper the longer you speak, obviously unhappy about how things are proceeding. Kanao has nothing to accuse you of now that you've showed her all your cards. From start to finish, your involvement with Shinobu was based on luck and circumstance, not malicious scheming or shady methods.

"Many things happened afterwards, none of which I'd bore you with, but once I returned from my previous mission I finally made the decision to declare my intentions to Shinobu-sama," you conclude in a pace neither too fast nor slow. A tug on your arm makes you look up. Kanao probably can't see it, but this smile of Shinobu's is irrevocably sweet, her eyes rounded and soft like it had been when you first kissed her. Shinobu helps you stand, and you get onto your feet, your gait steady.

"That happened roughly two weeks ago," Shinobu says. "And I accepted his request to court me, as you may have realized, Kanao."

The girl has remained quiet throughout the entirety of this one-sided explanation but one glance at her reveals that it isn't out empathy, or being caught up in your riveting story telling. Kanao's fist is clenched tight, the bone of her knuckles turning white and bloodless. The fingers of her other hand holds her bronze coin in a pincer-like grip, and from her tightly pursed lips, you suspect Kanao is holding back from hurling it at you with her greatest strength.

The tension skyrockets with each passing second of silence, the atmosphere in the room cooling to sub negative temperatures. Your hopes that Kanao's dislike of you will ease into something less harsh are swiftly deflating. Far as you can tell, you delivered your intentions about Shinobu concisely, confidently, and you are sure there is nothing in your words that can be used against you.

However, Kanao's reaction makes you understand something. Her fault with you doesn't lie with your affection towards her master. She is relentlessly holding on to her grudge, so does this mean the root cause lies with something deeper…?

"Ryuu makes me feel happier. I am more content than I initially thought I would be." Shinobu's words make you smile on reflex. It nice to hear you have an effect on her as much as she does on you. "He doesn't use his words and affluence to outbid others for my attention, he cares for things I do and people that are precious to me. He could win me over without trying, but he does. I was initially afraid of Ryuu's power over me, but now?" Shinobu looks straight at Kanao. "I trust him."

Kanao's icy façade was cracking as Shinobu speaks, but her final statement is what delivers the final blow. You watch the girl's face crumple and Shinobu's eyes throb with heartache.

"He is a good person, Kanao. I understand your fears, but he is nothing like the people Kanae-neesan and I rescued you from."

You do not quite understand the reason behind the extreme lengths Shinobu has just gone through to exonerate you, the story hidden beneath the layers and layers of speech slipping through your grasp, but you know one thing. Shinobu has helped you out again, and that realization burns you with the need to run your fingers through her hair and hold her close to your chest.

"Thank you Shinobu," you whisper low enough for her to hear. Still seated in that chair, Kanao is watching both of you with the guise of a wounded animal, all teeth and bristled fur. Though she's gone through the trouble of trying to put you down, you're hardly mad at her. The concerns that plague her must have been festering for a long time, perhaps even before you made an appearance. This distress can be considered useful if it has helped Kanao.

You bend your body in a formal bow. "Kanao-san, I know you do not trust me, but allow my sincerity to speak through my actions and words. Shinobu-sama won't come to any harm and I will do everything in power to make her even happier than she's been." Staring at the ground, you can't see what Kanao thinks of your solemn oath. But this should be enough to convince, surely?

"Kanao," Shinobu says, "Please tell me what you are thinking."

"I wish to hear your true thoughts as well, Kanao-san."

You hear a coin being tossed in the air. The echo quality of metal as it falls upon a sea of flesh sounds eerie in the vaccum of this room, windows and doors shut tight to defend from invisible eyes and ears. You don't move a single inch out of your stance, though you feel your eyebrows furrow. Why is Kanao still playing with her coin in a serious situation like this? You gathered it's a sort of lucky charm for her, but…

"He is definitely lying, Master," Kanao's strangled words snaps you to attention. "Kuroshio-san is a merchant, and merchants are capable of saying anything to get what they want. Master, you can try to talk to me all you want, but I know this man probably convinced you to say it, and I… I don't want to be sold again." the fear in her voice is palpable, and her next accusation makes your body go rigid. "Kuroshio-san is going to convince you to sell me again, like how they convinced mother."

"I would nev–" You lift your head a second to late. Kanao gives you a wide berth as she rushes to the door. Shinobu doesn't stop her. She watches the girl fling it open, sinking into the inky darkness and disappearing into the depths of the mansion. You step up, placing a hand on Shinobu's shoulder. "Shinobu, you know I would never do something as heinous as that."

"Of course I do," Shinobu sighs. "Kanao… I had guessed that she would hold reservations towards you, but I didn't think it was to such an extent." Both of you stand by the doorway, silent as graves. You are certain Shinobu's chest is feeling as hollow as yours.

Shinobu tilts her head to look at you. After you attempt to smile reassuringly, she gives you an apologetic grimace, her eyes lowering. "Ryuu, I'm sorry. This has become… complicated. Would you return to your room for now? Before my shift starts, I wish to think about this, alone."

Your heart sinks. You nod, letting go of her shoulder. "I understand. I know my presence is a little distracting right now."

"Thank you." Shinobu leans up to kiss your cheek. You try not to jump to conclusions, but it feels awful to think of it as a goodbye kiss. "Come to my room tomorrow afternoon. I will explain some things to you, then."

"Alright, Shinobu. Goodnight."

You linger at the door as it closes. When the light is completely shut out, you are drenched in pitch black. It is not that uncomfortable of a feeling, considering how it mirrors the current state of your mind. You rub your hands together, suddenly cold.

As Shinobu said… this is complicated, indeed.