Chapter 29

Late dawns and early sunsets are a common topic of conversation in Fall, a hot potato slung back and forth between those who depise the season and those who welcome it. The divisiveness brought on by the rapidly chilling weather is doomed to repeat the following year, for the simple fact that a person's attitude towards it is inevitably shaped by the events in their life.

For the poor and unfortunate, the arrival of Fall is fearful prelude to a long and terrible winter. Shorter daylight makes for less food, less work, and a steadily dipping temperature capable of freezing a breath in mid exhalation. Empty bellies and death by frostbite are things even normal people know to fear.

Winter is by no means a terrible season in of itself, but it is a season that can spell the death of even those who are prepared. You've travelled enough to know this. For all the tragedies you've witnessed and endured, you've never had to brave the snowy season without necessary supplies, even after losing your family. You're thankful for it. It makes you appreciative, especially when Fall rolls around.

"This area looks perfect." You shift your weight onto your other foot as you turn to look at Shinobu. "It's not far from the village, but the surrounding trees give us some well-needed privacy. And most importantly," you smile at her. "We have a wonderful view of the lake."

Shinobu spares a glance behind her, staring away from the crested hill both of you stand upon, onto the vividly glittering waters of the lake. She has one hand under her chin, her frame thoughtful as she nods. The paper bag in her hand rustles as she fishes for another roasted chestnut. "Would you like me to help you set up?"

"It's fine," You swing the bundle slung over your shoulder to your front. "Doing this won't take but a minute. I'd much prefer if you could relax in the meanwhile."

Your fingers follow the tightly wound cloth until it touches the bunched knot. You are ready to go about undoing the feisty bundled cloth when you feel a phantom presence closing in from the side. You feel your jaw twitch, Kokonoe's warning coming to mind. A bug? You turn for a better look. A pleasant warmth spreads over your lips, the chestnut pressed against your mouth smelling of charcoal and something sweet.

Staring over the chestnut, your heart gives a shudder at the sight of Shinobu's smiling visage.

"Say ahh."

Her tone identical to when she had fed you dessert in the eating house earlier, and you react the same way. You open your mouth in aplomb, biting into the warm chestnut with a brief, "Mpf," of acceptance. You chew quickly, matching the rhythm of the rapid thuds in your chest, and then swallow. The hook of your mouth tingles from where Shinobu brushed her fingers in the instant she pulls back.

"There won't be any chestnuts left at this rate," you point out.

"I'd rather eat them while they're still warm."

You finish untangling the knot just as Shinobu lifts her arm, holding up another peeled chestnut. Laughter dances in her eyes as you eye it mutinously. "I bought them for you," you tell her. "Tasty as they are, you should be the one enjoying them."

"Sharing something delicious brings me more joy than if I'd kept it to myself."

You end up accepting the offered nut with a helpless shrug. Shinobu watches you chew vigorously. Though the chestnut is tinged with the bitterness the smoke it was roasted over, it's natural flavour remains overpowering.

"You tell me to stop but accept them anyway," Shinobu observes. Her smirk is like a feline that has sighted of her next meal. "Ryuu, you're clearly hoping I would offer some."

You puff up, pretending to look affronted. "Why would I reject the opportunity to be fed by a beauty? I rather be shameless than a fool." Shinobu's choked laughter assures you of her appreciation to your humour. Your find yourself grinning as she covers her mouth with one hand, struggling to keep herself in check.

Tossing aside the cloth, you unroll the quilt you had bid Aibooru to prepare. One side is matted with thick and luscious fur while the other feels slick, made waterproof through some method of hide preservation. It's better than what you asked for. You hadn't mentioned to make it water resistant. He's really banking on making you owe him, isn't he?

You lay the oiled side on the grass, the thick mat making a rustling whump as it lands. "There we go. The preparation is now complete." You make a sweeping gesture. "Come sit. Make yourself comfortable."

Shinobu tugs your arm and she lowers herself onto the spread cloth. Your body follows to accomdate her. You both end up seated in the center, bodies close enough that you can smell the sweet tang of chestnut on her breath. Both it and her close proximity are headier than any drug you've taken, and your head momentarily spins as you try to make sense of the woman melding into the side of your body.

Shinobu angles her legs, the bulk of her weight resting on you, while you shift into a comfortable cross legged pose. Her hand remains unmoved, splayed on your tensed forearm. You know you shouldn't be able to feel the heat of her skin through the layers you've piled on, but warmth seems to spread from the place she's touching, working all the way up your arm.

Both of you settle down, enjoying the remarkably peaceful silence that rises like the lazy curl of smoke from lit incense. The chirping of insects can hardly be heard, but the occasional rustle of grass prompts you to reach for the perfumed sachet hanging from your hip. The apothecary did indeed sell repellent.

"Today was wonderful." Shinobu's voice is quiet, lingering like a cloud drifting on an invisible breeze. "I didn't think you would go to such lengths. Thank you, Ryuu." Immediately, your heart feels fit to burst.

"I wasn't sure if what I arranged would live up to expectations," you admitted. "But I'm glad they did. Thank you, Shinobu, for agreeing to come out with me. It means more than you'd know."

You had felt sorely out of your element when you wracked your brains planning for today's date. Your lack of parental figures was definitely a glaring issue, and it's not like you had done similar things before, what with the lack of women demanding you court them. You're confident in sussing out the best transport route for goods, but planning activites that women might enjoy… you might as well have been told to kill a demon with your bare hands.

Being forced to stay in the Butterfly Estate was at least useful in that it gave you ample time to draw up a dozen different plans. In the end, it was writing partially panicked letters to people you kept up a contact with that eased your anxiety, leading to the realization that your ideas could be executed in the same manner.

"We're acting on the chances we promised to give each other." Shinobu giggles. "My, if anyone could hear us, they'd think us strange for talking in circles."

"It's a job hazard. You can be sure that I'm working to be more candid." You chuckle along with her, then clear your throat as you prepare to ask your next question. "Shinobu, can I take your glowing praise to mean that you'll be open to spending another day like this?"

"It can't be so soon," Shinobu says. "But yes. I am looking forward to our next date." There's a twinkle in her eyes as she says, "Perhaps it will be my turn to plan our activites next, though I'm worried about having to live up to the bar you've set."

"I'm sure the Insect Pillar is more than capable." Shinobu doesn't reply and merely buries herself deeper into your side. The arm she leans on is steadily going stiff, but you can't bring yourself to say a word.

This is your first time witnessing Shinobu acting so unguarded, heaping you with open affection that's at odds with her usual demeanor. It's not that she's never showed her fondness for you, you've been teased to the point where you can be said to be partially immune, but today's impulsiveness is a marked difference from the sober and restrained attitude she wields in the mansion.

You are delighted… no, overjoyed, that she can let her guard down with you.

The blissful silence seems to stretch into infinity. The glowing ball of orange steadily descends from its zenith, its kingly presence dissolving as the first night winds sweep over the forested landscape.

You loathe to disturb such peace, but you want to take this time to know her better. Your curiosity bids you to start on a certain topic, and though it might not be the wisest to start with, you'd prefer to get it out of way instead of dancing around the subject.

"Shinobu, could I ask you something personal?"

"My wisteria poison is considered one of the top secrets in the organization, but if you wish to find out… you'll need to trade a secret of equal measure."

"Ah, no, my question isn't about the makeup of your demon killing poison." You can practically feel amusement radiating off the snuggling woman.

"Oh? That's a shame. I would feel less lonely with a successor." You sense something strange about her tone. You reach over to lightly stroke her hand resting in the crook of your arm.

"What I wanted to know, Shinobu, was how today's date matched with those of your past courtships." Her body tenses, going taut as a tugged bowstring. Almost immediately, you regret asking, but since you've already spoken all you can do is push forward. "You don't have to tell me the details. I… I know I'm overstepping, but I wish not to remain ignorant about your past partners, if there were any."

Shinobu's voice is steady as she replies. "Would you believe if I said there has been no one other than you?"

You work to keep your jaw from unhinging itself. "No, I wouldn't," you admit. "It's… That seems impossible. Your appearance and personality leaves nothing to be desired, you are practically worshipped among the Corps. There has also been hearsay that you've had relations with one of Pillars, like say… Tomioka-sama?"

Shinobu makes a noise of outrage, and you hasten to say, "Either him or Shinazugawa-sama. They say the Pillars are a tightly knit group, and those two are closest to you in age." You agree with those the rumours singled out. Gyomei Himejima was a fair bit older than you, ruling him out, and Uzui had three wives. If that man added a fourth, and if it'd been Shinobu, you think the Demon Slayer Corps would have a rebellion on its hands.

"Tomioka-san and I will never expressed romantic interest in each other," Shinobu says huffily, sounding offended by the notion. You think back to when you'd saw them in the mansion garden. Shinobu and Giyu clearly have some compatability. If they have history with each other… well, it's not that weird to think you might have been courting your idol's past partner, but… actually, yeah, it would be very, very weird.

You nod despite Shinobu not being able to see it. "Hm, I see."

"As for Shinazugawa-san, his volatile personality isn't something I can endure for extended periods. And previously, he…" Her grip on your arm tightens. You think your blood circulation is completely cut off from where she's clamped her hand around.

"Shinobu." You crane your neck to look down. You cease drawing circles on her hand, instead wrapping it into yours. You're shocked to find it slightly clammy. Is it from the weather or…? "Shinobu, you don't have to force yourself to answer if you're uncomfortable. Just overlook it as my ignorance."

"It can't be labelled ignorance if you're unaware." Shinobu leans back, briefly looking up at you. Her eyes are filled with unspeakable grief, and your heart momentarily freezes at the sight. "The person Shinazugawa-san liked was my older sister, Kanae."

You suppress a grimace. Kanae Kocho. The fabled Flower Pillar you've only ever heard in stories. She hadn't been present when you first joined, and anyone with a working brain would have easily dechipered the reason for it. You already knew your curiosity would be the death of you one day, but this was far worse. You definitely messed up…

"I'm sorry," you say.

Shinobu stares at you, unblinking, then deflates and slouches against you. You wrap a comforting arm around her. "She would have come up sooner or later.

You don't have to apologize." Shinobu continues speaking, her tone layered with grief and nostalgia, "Kanae-neesan was the only person I had for a long time. Our parents were murdered by a demon, and eventually, so was she. I am not surprised Shinazugawa-san fell for her. She was someone this world was undeserving of, and she shone brighter than me, brighter than anyone…"

"She sounds wonderful." Shinobu shifts, bracing her back against your chest. A tremble runs through her as she relives what must be painful yet precious memories.

"You would have liked her, and she to you. She nearly drove me to madness when she talked about how she wished I would find someone. Even when she lay…" Shinobu shakes her head. "My haori was hers, did you know? People say it is fitting of my title, but I will never wear it as well she did. Shinazugawa-san couldn't have liked a better girl than Kanae-neesan."

You debate on your next move. Carefully, you release her hand, tilting her chin until she faces you. Shinobu meets your gaze, searching, before her eyes flutter shut. Your head dips forward. You kiss her. Deeply. Softly. Gently. Seconds flow unhindered, and you release her when the tremble of her lips completely disappears.

Shinobu leans against you, her body weightless in your arms. The uneasy atmosphere has dispersed, and you can't help but feel a flash of relief. Knowing Shinobu trusts you is a wonderful feeling, but you can't help but feel it isn't worth dredging up wounds of the past.

You swallow the next question you'd planned to ask, about why she'd asked Giyu to befriend demons instead of killing them. Her words do not make any sense, even more so if Kanae Kocho was murdered by one. Shinobu's older sister died years ago, but the gaping hole it has left in Shinobu seems as raw and terrible as if she'd gone just yesterday.

You and Shinobu have more shared experiences than you'd thought. If you were to talk about your sister now, would this be how you would react?

You and the woman in your arms watch the setting sun wordlessly. You're glad Shinobu hasn't made to pull away, for if she does, you feel like both you and her would drift aimlessly, like wandering spirits missing the precious things which had once made them whole.

Shinobu touches your arm and draws your attention. You turn to look. Her expression is calm, and the glimmer of gratitude in her eyes is what eases your worries that she might be putting on a front. That emotion is something that cannot be faked. "Shall we get ready to return before we lose the remaining daylight?"

You'd originally hoped to stay until the sun set. However, after your spectacular fuck up, you think it's better to end it while things can still be salvaged. "Yes, I think I've stolen you away for long enough," you reply. You retrieve your arm from its position across her waist, and make to push yourself to your feet.

What happens next is swifter than you can predict. Shinobu grabs you by your collar and pulls you in. Her kiss is quick, just a firm press of her mouth against yours, but it is no less effective than the ones you can drown in. Your heart thunders, your ears starting to steam with heat.

"Thank you," Shinobu says.

You crack a smile. You swallow your apology, instead saying, "I'd rather you thank me by helping fold this blanket."

"I don't mind. It will be faster if we do it together." Shinobu brushes off a stray blade of grass the wind must have blown onto her lap. She stands, and then helps pull you to your feet.

You reach out to touch a wisp of hair curling against her cheek, tucking it behind her ear. "As you say." Her light blush prompts you to laugh. How is it that a kiss won't make her bat an eye, but a casual touch can set her cheeks aflame? It is a delightful mystery you can take your time to decipher. "Come, let's begin."