I missed you.

After a few minutes, she sat up pushed her hair out of her face and looked into the darkness with her blank eyes. She is not crying but her appearance is more pitiful than when she was crying.

She was sitting and staring in the dark for an hour before she finally decided to move and went to the nearby table to get her school bag. She took her bag and began to rummage inside to search for something.

When she found what she is looking for, there is no happiness in her face but instead there's only agony that suffused Zia's entire being. She stood there like a statue and stared intently at her phone.

Zia only moved around and quickly went back to bed like a surprised kitty when she heard some noise coming from outside, maybe her brother is home.

Zia collapsed to the bed. She covers herself with a blanket, tilted her head side wards and started fiddling with her phone. There were a lot of saved text messages; she opened the messages one by one until the very last one. And as if Zia was possessed and not yet satisfied with what she did, she started reading the messages again and again from the very beginning.

You don't have to guess it, all the text messages she saved was messages Jacob sent to her. The compiled messages consist of their silly conversations, quotes that he sent, love confessions, sharing secrets and their promises.

And while she was reading she did not realize that her pillow was already wet with her tears. Zia tried to hold her breathe to stop her tears from falling and also to avoid her nose being clogged. As much as possible, she wanted to avoid making any noise.

'Haaaa.'

It looked so weird that she is smiling so sweetly right now. What can she do? Aside from crying all can she do is cherish every letter that comes from her beloved. She won't be able to hear him again so why not try to imagine him say those words again.

Even in dreams, Zia will be happy to see him again.

'I miss you.'

'I missed you.' she whispered while she slowly put her phone in her lips and kissed the screen.

And as if something has been triggered, she could not stop her tears from falling on her cheeks.

Zia wailed silently through the night and cried herself to sleep with no sound.

Zia grew up in a humble family. Though she has her own room, their house is small so any noise will be heard in the next room. That is why Zia need to be careful in letting out her cries.

Also, smartphones are not yet available at that time and since she was still in high school the best phone she can get was Nokia 3310. Just imagine the limited space in her phone that is full of his messages. She carefully picked every stored text messages; it can explicitly show how precious those messages are to her.

The morning comes and life must goes on.

Zia continue to be the girl she once was. She was once a girl with a pure heart and always cheery but now behind her smiles is a hurting heart, behind her laugh she's falling apart. All her sorrow, grief and woes were buried deep inside her heart. Zia tried to keep up with that facade until she can finally be free with the pain.

However her friends can still sense that something is not right with her, they cannot pinpoint it but there is definitely something off with her.

Zia tried to distract herself but each moment was suffused with a suffocating feeling of sadness.

Zia avoided being alone, after school she will hang out with her friends until midnight. She will only go home when she felt very exhausted and have no time to think.

When there's school activities, Zia will actively participate and volunteer to do some work.

From everybody's perspective, there seems nothing wrong with her but every night although she was physically tired, her heart is screaming and her mind is still actively playing the past the she desired the most.