27. Chapter 27

AN: Glad you guys have enjoyed the last couple of chapters, they've been a little more experimental than what I normally do. Anyway, here's another one.

"What do you mean it didn't break?!"

Luna Loud stood in front of the door to her room, considering her options as she listened to the muffled, but familiar voices coming from within.

"Are you deaf? I told you, it didn't break!"

"That's a bad call and you know it!"

Pattern recognition was an important skill to develop, especially in the Loud House. Old Luna would have just blindly wandered into her room, blissfully unaware of the insanity that was very likely to envelope her upon doing so. New Luna was now savvy enough to recognize the signs.

"You're a bad call!"

"I know you are, but what am I?!"

"A bad call!"

The smart thing to do would have been to slowly back away, then head down to the kitchen for a snack. Maybe watch some TV, let this whole thing blow over.

And yet...

Luna sighed as she reached out with one trembling hand and gently wrapped her fingers around the door knob. It would be smart to leave, but there was a part of her that really wanted to know how this would play out. And so, Luna steeled her nerves and opened the door.

As Luna walked through the door, her eyes instinctively began to flicker around the room, looking for anything unexpected and/or dangerous. Holes in the walls or ceilings, unexpected pitfalls, perhaps some new wild beast of Lana's, or one of Lisa's experiments gone rogue. To her surprise, her room was exactly as she had left it, save for the small card table that now sat in its center.

The table was covered with thick hard-bound books, piles of paper, a multitude of tiny figurines, reams and reams of graph paper. Also, dice. Many, many dice, covering a spectrum of colors and shapes that seemed positively alien.

Adjacent to the mess was her girlfriend and her little brother, glaring daggers at one another. The latter standing on a nearby chair, presumably so as to better facilitate his glaring at the former. It was strangely adorable.

"I'm telling you, it broke!" Sam yelled, pounding her fist on the table. The impact dislodging a few dice, which tumbled away, seemingly jubilant to be free of the conflict.

"And I'm telling you, it didn't!" Lincoln shouted back. "Military androids are outfitted with a luna-titanium alloy plating! It's designed to withstand heavy ordinance! You. Did. Not. Break. It!"

"I was using my +5 dagger of armor breaking!"

"The +5 is a to hit modifier! You flubbed the penetration roll! Deal with it!"

As amusing as this was, Luna couldn't help but feel slightly disappointed by the sight before her. Sam and Lincoln had gotten up to way crazier things in the past, this seemed strangely tame by comparison.

"I bet I could penetrate your stupid face!" Sam growled, grabbing the smaller boy by the front of his shirt, and pulling him so close that their faces were nearly touching.

"Bring it, Blondie!" He spat back.

Luna was wracked with indecision. As mundane and idiotic as this was, she'd be remiss if she allowed her loved ones to get into a fist fight over something so stupid. And yet...

Fortunately, the decision was made for her. The pair, trembling with what Luna had presumed to be barely repressed anger, suddenly burst out laughing, exchanging a brief hug before sliding back into their chairs, bodies heaving from mirth.

Luna was content to sit back and observe the pair. Red faced from laughter, tears running down their cheeks as they gasped for breath. It was nice to see them having fun. These were the moments that made all the insanity in their lives worth the trouble.

She had wanted to watch them for at least a little longer, but an unexpected sneeze suddenly expelled itself from her body, drawing attention to her. And with that, the moment was passed.

"Hey Luna." Lincoln greeted her, his bucktooth smile quivering as the last vestiges of that laughing fit worked themselves through his body.

"Well..." He began, climbing to his feet, "I'll be getting out of your hair." He stopped and sent a worried glance towards the heavily laden table.

"I'll take care of it, little dude." Sam said, giving him a small wave. He nodded in acknowledgement, and began to make his way towards the door.

Luna had wanted to ask him to stay. She wanted to recreate that perfect snapshot of togetherness that she had inadvertently stumbled across. Perhaps join in herself. But the words simply wouldn't come. And so, she contented herself with pulling her little brother into a quick side hug as he passed by. One which he eagerly returned, much to her delight.

She turned back to her lounging girlfriend, one eyebrow raised quizzically in silent askance.

"Is it weird that I got a little turned on by that?" Sam asked, eyes flicking to the now vacant doorway.

"Yes!" Luna growled. Unwilling to admit that she was feeling more than a little stirred up herself.

"So what was that all about?" Luna asked, her eyebrow beginning to feel sore.

"Swords and Cyborgs." Sam replied, as she set about straightening up the table. Stacking up the books, organizing the loose sheets of paper, and collecting the figures and dice that had been strewn about.

Luna simply pointed at her raised eyebrow, currently trembling from the strain.

"It's a roleplaying game." Sam rolled her eyes, albeit smiling as she did so. "One of those fantasy/sci-fi mash-up kind of deals."

"Like that movie we watched?"

"Sort of." Sam deftly retrieved a few dice that had wandered into the far corner of the room. "But some of the guns are made of smaller guns, and the swords are also chainsaws."

"Sounds kinda dumb." Luna observed, sliding into Lincoln's now vacant chair and picking up one of his figurines at random. It appeared to be some kind of robot being operated by a man in a smaller suit of robot armor. How strange.

"It's fun." Sam admonished her, plucking the figure out of Luna's grasp and putting it into a small box. She then began to follow suit with the remaining figures.

"Linc's been running me through a solo campaign ever since his gaming group imploded. He was bored, I was bored, and you were distressingly absent. One thing led to another, and now once a week I sail the sea of stars! Searching for adventure! And booty!"

She waggled her eyebrows at Luna. "And sometimes treasure."

Luna paused to consider this.

"I'm not upset that you're hanging out with my little bro..." She began.

"Good!"

"But I am concerned what my family will think."

Especially Lori, she added silently.

Her task complete, Sam slid into her chair and scooched closer to Luna.

"Then clearly, the solution is for you to join us." She said, adding emphasis with a gentle poke to Luna's cheek.

"And why would I want to do that?"

"Because Lincoln's always doing things that we like, and we never reciprocate." Sam immediately shot back. "And while you were able to live in blissful ignorance before, now the guilt will slowly devour you from within."

That...was a pretty good point. And accurate. And curiously well prepared.

"How long have you been sitting on that one?" Luna asked, now suspicious.

"Long enough." Sam batted her eyes at Luna coquettishly.

"Besides." She continued. "Why would you turn down the opportunity to spend time with your girlfriend and the man you love?"

"Dude!" Luna hissed, glancing fearfully at the still opened door.

Sam's eyes narrowed. "Luna I thought you were over this."

"I...admitted that those feelings exist." Luna replied cautiously. The door remained opened, taunting her. "But that doesn't mean I can...you know, do anything about them!"

"You keep that up and you're going to lose him to Carol." Sam said, bluntly.

"I-I don't..."

"She'd probably be all over this." The blonde continued, heedless as to Luna's growing discomfort. "And man, did you see the way she filled out that costume? She gets Linc into a dark room and he's not going to stand a chance."

"Sam..."

"Seriously. How did she even manage to fit those things..."

"Sam!" Luna barked, surprising even herself with venom in her tone. Sam, for her part, looked more bemused than anything.

"It's not that simple." Luna sighed, rubbing her temples in frustration.

"It's exactly that simple." Sam replied, turning towards the door.

"Leni?" She called out.

Much to Luna's surprise, Leni immediately stepped into the room.

"Hi girls!" The older girl greeted them with an exaggerated wave of her hand.

Luna blinked. "Leni, how long have you been out there?"

Leni's face took on a thoughtful expression. "I don't think I was. I think I'm just wherever I'm supposed to be?"

Luna glanced at her girlfriend, and felt strangely relieved that Sam seemed to be just as perplexed as she was. However, her girlfriend remained undeterred.

"Leni, you love Lincoln, right?" Wow, right out of the gate and already swinging.

"Totes!" Leni replied, nodding her head emphatically. "He's like, the best little brother ever!"

"Would you ever date him?"

Leni's smile faltered ever so slightly. "Sam, don't be silly. You can't date your brother."

Her point made, Luna shot Sam a victorious smile. Her only response was to wave Luna off.

"But Leni, I thought you loved Lincoln."

"I do!" The older girl squawked indignantly. "He's really smart, and super nice to me"

"Got a cute little butt too."

"Ya huh." Leni agreed, nodding emphatically. Now Sam was the one shooting smugness Luna's way.

"But you can't date your brother, Sam." Leni said, clearly unhappy. "It's like, totes wrong."

Sam stroked her chin, seemingly pondering a new plan of attack.

"Who told you that, Leni?" She said at last.

"Lori. We talked about it when we kidnapped Linky that one time."

Wait, what? Luna opened her mouth, intending to press for more details, but Sam promptly clamped her hand over it. Not now! She mouthed, silently.

"So who are you supposed to date, Leni?"

"Lori says you're only supposed to date someone you really, really love." Leni parroted, like a well trained animal of some variety. This was, presumably, something she had been told frequently.

"And you love Linky, right?" Sam prompted.

"Totes. B-but...I... and Linky" Leni stammered as she tried to process the logical paradox. Suddenly she froze, her beautiful features scrunched up in concentration. Perfectly still, save for the slight rising and falling of her bountiful chest.

Again, Luna glanced at Sam and saw that the other girl was just as perplexed as she was. Apparently this wasn't part of the plan.

"Leni?" She ventured at last, leaning forward and waving her hand in front of the older girl's face. No response.

"You broke my sister." She growled, glaring at her girlfriend.

Sam held up her hands, clearly intending to offer some kind of defense for her actions. She stopped, however, surprise now evident upon her face.

Luna turned back to Leni, curious to see what new development had occurred, and saw...nothing.

"What the..." Were the only words she managed to get out before a loud crash resounded from the hallway.

"Leni no!" And that sounded like Lori.

Another series of crashes, much greater in intensity this time rang out, causing Luna to flinch in surprise. Somewhere a door slammed, and then...nothing.

Luna sighed heavily, crept towards the door, and gently closed it. She'd deal with...whatever that was later.

She turned back and saw that Sam had relocated to her bunk bed. The blonde smiled, clearly pleased with herself, and patted the empty space next to her, invitingly. Dang it.

"We're going to have a talk about this later." Luna promised, climbing up alongside the other girl.

She pulled the smiling blonde close as the pair shuffled around the fairly limited amount of space, trying to find themselves a position more conducive for snuggling.

"...So, am I gonna have to wear a wizard hat, or something?" She asked, once they'd gotten themselves situated.

"Don't be silly." Sam replied, nuzzling her face into Luna's neck. "It's called a Star Seer's Coif."