CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

"Healing Hearts Camp 1"

(Healing Your Heart is about Burning Your Past)

CHURCH OF GOD HEALING HEARTS CAMP

SCHEDULE OF ACTIVITIES

FRIDAY (Nov. 21)

4-5pm Welcoming of Participants

5-6pm Early Dinner

6-7pm Opening Worship

7-8pm Session 1 "Healing Your Hearts"

8-9pm Bon fire "Burn Your Past"

"Prayer of Redemption"

"Gethsemane Prayer"

9-10pm Closing Worship

10pm Lights out

SATURDAY (Nov. 22)

4-5am Devotion and Dawn Watch

5-6am Morning Exercise

6-7am Breakfast

7-11am Lifeline "Never Leave Your Partners Behind"

11-12nn Lunch

12-1pm Nap Time

1-2pm Opening Worship

2-3pm Session 2 "Relationship Goals of God"

3-4pm Session 3 "Life Long Covenant of Marriage"

4-5pm Know Your Pair

5-6pm Dinner

6-7pm Worship

7-9pm Fireproof Film Showing

9-10pm Healing Prayer and Deliverance

Anointing of the Holy Spirit

Closing Worship

10pm Lights out

SUNDAY (Nov. 23)

4-5am Devotion and Dawn Watch

5-6am Morning Exercise

6-7am Breakfast

7-11am Sunday Service

Friday afternoon came and I am not surprise to see the four people I really wanted to see today- Franz, Michy, Alfred and Sophie. For three nights, I soaked myself into prayer and I fasted for three days just for them to come.

"Hey," Alfred said when he sees me with Juliana.

"I'm glad you came," I said and Juliana both give him and Sophie a big hug.

"Juliana!" Michy called from behind us. "You bloom beautifully," she said then kisses my wife on the cheeks.

At the corner of my eyes, I see Franz. He just nods at me but never dare to approach us. I guess it will be a tough moment for both of them.

David's wife, Estelle, made an open remark to welcome the participants of this event. She also announced that male and female will be staying in separate quarters, regardless of being husband and wife.

"Men night out, eh?" Alfred said as we arrange our things.

The church has a place for healing camps since they perform this four times a year. There is an assembly hall for lectures, a cafeteria, a place for bon fire and at the center point, just beside the lake, is standing a very big cross. Seats made of wood encircle it. That is the place for cell groups and a place for healing and deliverance.

"Dream on," I said. "It is a place for healing camps."

When the bell rings, everyone head our way on the cafeteria for the dinner. Like the partition of the rooms, we are also divided in groups, which will stand as our cell group for the sake of this camp. In my group are Alfred, Franz, Rommel, and Lito. They assigned me as the facilitator of our cell.

During dinner, Franz approaches me. "I know what you're doing," he said.

I just continue eating. "Then what it is?"

"I know you only want to help me and Michy. But it is not going to be."

I manage to smile at Franz. "Do you know what is the reason why you have to be friends with people?"

"Why?"

"Simply," I said. "You make friends because you can be trusted and you have something to teach them."

"What do you want me to know?" he asks again with furrowed brows.

"The right question is who," I answered. "Trust me."

Exactly six in the evening when we started the worship night with the hymn of "Amazing Grace," "How Great thou Art," and "How Great is our God."

After that, we started the session one of this camp which entitles "Healing Your Hearts." Again, we are separated into two groups- male and female. The lecturer for our group is Pastor David Nigel Baxter, Juliana's Dad. For the female is his lovely wife, Pastora Estelle Baxter.

The guys are being led on the center point cross that is mostly intended for cell groups, while the ladies are being left behind in the assembly hall.

"Good evening gentlemen," David opens up as he stands at the center, right in front of the cross. I am sitting right in front of him. Next to me is Franz, while on the other side is Alfred, and right behind him are Lito and Rommel. "Our session today is called 'Heal Your Hearts.' Now let me ask you just a single question, 'How's your heart today?' Before you answer that, I want you to have this paper. One to each of you. Pass it please," he said to one gentleman whom I don't know the name. "On that paper, I want you to write the answer to my question. At the same time, I want you to write those things or those persons that hurt you or betray you. Write about those things that you constantly do in secrets- it's either watching porns, masturbation, womanizing. Nobody will see that. No one will judge you. Just be true to yourself. I also want you to write about your addictions- drugs, smoking, drinking. I want you to write about your sickness, your depressions, your worries, your fears, or anything under the sun that you are keeping for so long- all the hatreds and agony. Come on."

When Alfred passes me the paper, he just smile- the 'are you fucking serious smile.' I just nod at him to say thank you then pass one to Franz. He is just looking to nowhere. I tap his shoulder to assure him that it is fine.

This is the thing that I write on my paper: "My heart today is beating for Jesus. I guess it all started when Juliana and some people I know my whole life bugs me to believe about him again. Now, I believe that God saved me, and He is still saving me. He saved me from the abused I took from my biological father. He saved me when my mom abandons me. He saved me from the depression and agony that I endured when I live a life apart from my dreams, and I live a life concealing my heart. He saved me from the emotional and verbal abused I took from my foster father. Now, I lift up to Him all my worries about my friends. I lift up to Him my vices on smoking and drinking. I lift up to him all the guilt I had from hurting women before. Today, I want to forgive the fathers that came to passed in my life. I want to forgive my mom. . ."

"Now," David said again, "I want you to fold that paper and set it aside for now. We will do something about that later."

After doing so, David asks a volunteer to read the passage of Mark, chapter five, and verse three to eight. Alfred is the one who volunteered. He still jokes around saying, "The Gospel of the Lord. Thanks be to God!"

Everybody laughs. Even David.

"Very well gentlemen," David said again. "I want you to realize that human mind can be very sensitive at times and can be so powerful." With that, he looks at each and every one of us and continues, "It creates imaginations and possible that can bring your darkest nightmares. It is sensitive really and reacts to pain or joy, or anger or happiness or madness or excitement. There is even a saying that what you think determines what will you gonna feel, and what you feel, determines how will your actions be."

"We can also hide our deepest pains and grieve alone with our own scars and concealing every angst, cursing ourselves to eternal damned if we may, or we can attain freedom by recollecting our broken pieces, getting peace with our past and forgiving what we resent and say sorry for those that we hurt, admitting we're wrong and learn to love again."

To our surprise, Franz raised his hand. "How can I forgive somebody who constantly and constantly rejects me?"

David just smile as he puts his hand on the cross. "That��s a good question," he said as he looks to each of us. "The answer is right here. The Cross. The cross opens for us to paint new colors, when Jesus died on that first as a ransom for the people who constantly reject Him, who spits on Him, mock Him, and never believes on Him. I want you to hear this, you may not forget, but we can still heal by letting go. Forgiveness is not based on feeling. Forgiveness is based on Jesus' sacrifice for sinners like us. We are not qualified but He still died for our sins. That's love, and we will never learn to love unless we learned to love Him, who loves us first and who taught us what true love is."

"We may not undone the past, but at least, we solve the puzzle by finding the piece of our own, finishing what we oath to and saying goodbyes to our heartaches by making a gesture of finishing and accomplishing our unfinished businesses. We are just human beings who are not perfect and are easily get hurt. We cannot avoid the feeling because we are breathing. What we can do is to be open and transparent to our own perspectives- whether pain, joy, sadness, anger or love."

"Make friends and unseal the lock and create channels of communication within the house. We all need other people. If possible, seek help to counseling groups and get involve to churches and social activities. Have fun because we only have one life. Seek God's help and portray what God's design for you to be. You can heal yourself by acceptance and self-transference. Seek life with God for life is worth living. Be cheerful and strive to be happy."

"May we all have dark past but that's not who you are or who you opt to be. It only made up a piece of you. What makes you is the whole picture of yourself. You are the imperfect self who strives to be good every time he is being corrected, who is willing to grow, who is strong and who is capable of loving and be loved. We are not qualified, but Jesus qualifies us by dying on the cross and marking "Cancelled" all our debts of sins. You are now free. Let us live a life of freedom from the bondages of sins, of poverty, of rejection, of illness and of hurting."

"Pain and emotional dysfunctions makes us believe that one of our feet is already on the grave. Some loses hopes and thinks of dying, while others became cruel, some hides on his/her perpetrators and weep on his own. Some finds comfort on finding friends, while some strives to feel free on pretending to be someone else. We are all chained up and broken at some point, and we are so desperate on finding strength on our own. We always tries to forget what hurts the most, but remember, even Jesus wept, and sometimes, crying helps us to mend our emptiness. Yes, it may rub salt on the cuts while revisiting the past, but remember, we can only find peace by finding the root for a plant will not sprout without roots. The reason is for us to know what kind of solution we are looking for."

"To those who are prideful, we can now humble down. If by chance we hurt someone else out of arrogance and bluntness, it is now time to say sorry. If we are being abused, we can now forgive."

"We don't have to run. We just have to embrace our shadows in order for the sunlight to cast out and shine to us. Remember why shadows stay on your rear and why sunlight is at your front. You are now facing the cross when Jesus called you, and you are now about face from the world."

"Healing takes a lot of time and effort, but we have to give it a try. You are not losing, but you are now the future transformer. Time will come when you may now forget the scar and the one we can only remember is how Jesus saves us from our atonement. Life is worth living."

Life is worth living. Those words from David alone, moves from my head to my heart.

After that heartwarming message from Dave, the two groups merge around the bon fire. "The paper you have a while ago, let me see that," he said. We all get our papers. "Crumple it. Come on. I want you to say this prayer with all your heart while holding that crumpled papers. I want you to release whatever is in that paper and surrender it completely to God. Close your eyes and say this prayer with me:

Lord today I ask you to have mercy on my life.

Forgive me, transform my DNA and change my very nature so that I can serve you.

Allow me to have a supernatural experience.

Today, I am determine to serve you and depend solely on you.

I believe that Jesus took my sinful, rebellious nature to the cross.

I declare that the BLOOD OF JESUS absorbs all sins and rebellion and destroys it on the Cross of Calvary.

All my sins and all my rebellious and evil ways are washed away by your precious blood.

Father, I acknowledge today that Jesus carried all my infirmities and pain in His body and by His wounds, I received healing.

I believe and know that all my infirmities have been absorbed by the blood Jesus shed from His wounded body.

Evil can no longer abide in my body and pain can no longer affect my health.

I am a complete healthy person because of the power of Jesus.

Dear Jesus thank you for you had felt the same way I do when you experience betrayal.

Today I take your most Precious and Powerful Blood that was shed on the Garden of Gethsemane and apply it in my life.

Today I release all the pain and agony at your feet and ask your great healing power and touch my broken heart and heal the wound caused by betrayal.

Today I forgive them and ask your forgiveness and grace to start a new life again.

Heavenly Father, today I apply the Blood that Jesus shed from his forehead- blood that was mixed with the sweat of His brow.

I declare that every cursed that came to my life because of betrayal is absorbed and destroyed at the Cross of Calvary.

I believed that all the pain that was caused by unfaithfulness and all the sadness and devastation that came in my life because of betrayal are absorbed today by the most precious blood of Jesus.

I declare that restoration is coming to every areas of my life through His blood.

In Jesus name.

AMEN!

.

When I finally open my teary eyes, I see them- Michy, Franz, Alfred, Sophie, and even Juliana, crying as we all surrender ourselves to the one true God.

"Now, I want you to throw that paper, as a sign of throwing your previous lives away and accepting God as the navigator of your lives."

We do that in the tune of "Mercy in Disguise" by Laura Story.

We prayed for blessing, we prayed for peace

Comfort for family, protection while we sleep . . .

I am the first who go to the bon fire and throw the crumpled paper. Goodbye old Nat. Hello Jesus . . .

We prayed for healing, prosperity

We prayed for your mighty hands to ease our suffering . . .

Juliana follows after me as she throws the paper on the fire while uttering a silent prayer. On her face is a satisfied smile.

Yet all the while, you hear spoken need

Yet love is way too much, to give us lesser things . . .

Alfred walks to the fire. Gone is his playful expression. In him is a sorrowful yet turn into a peaceful expression. His eyes is welled-up with tear as he tears the paper piece by piece and throw it all in the flames.

What if your blessing comes to raindrops?

What if your healing come through tears?

What if the thousand sleepless nights is what it takes to know you're near?

What if trials of this life are your mercies in disguise?

Sophie and the others comes next as they throw all their pains and their past away and burn it in the fire.

We prayed for wisdom, your voice to hear

We cried in anger when we cannot feel you're here

Michy comes close to the fire. "I'm done with the guilt Lord!" she says out loud. "Sorry God," she cries out. "Jesus, save me!"

We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love

As if every promises of your word is not enough

Franz came to her and says, "You're forgiven. I am too." With that, Franz embraces Michy.

Yet all the while, you hear our desperate plea

As long as we have faith to believe . . .

The two of them throws their papers on the fire and return to the circle.

What if your blessing comes to raindrops?

What if your healing come through tears?

What if the thousand sleepless nights is what it takes to know you're near?

What if trials of this life are your mercies in disguise?

"Today, you are now free," David said. "Whom the God sets free is free indeed."

The night ends up so peacefully- with all the crying and deliverance moment. It's a very goodnight indeed.