CHAPTER ELEVEN

"His Reasons"

Weeks after my confession to her, I bring Juliana to our music studio in Olongapo for the contract signing of One Savior Music Guild's upcoming album entitled . . .

"So, what do you want to be the title of this album?" Miss Corpuz asked Juliana.

"I just want it to be 'Little Brothers' One Savior' because," then she looks at me with that smile which always amaze me a lot, " I want this to be all about our unison on being God's children." That's how she explains it- very simply.

That day, we also start our recording with the music guild. Their lead music is entitled 'If You Believe' which is about faith and friendship, and is followed by 'Cry' which is all about children's sufferings, then Psalm 23 Oratorical. Most of the songs are originally composed, but there are also reversions like 'A Friend Like You,' 'Tell the World of His Love,' 'Jubilee Song' and their last part is the newest composed song 'Little Brothers.'

Sometimes, I just keep on wondering what urge me to stay clinging on this girl? I mean, when out of curiosity I ask her why is that their latest solo 'Little Brothers' which was happened to be the title of their album became the finale while traditionally, it is supposed to be on the lead part, she just simply answered, "Sometimes, we need to save the best for last." That's it. No further details. Unbelievable! I guess, she is really different to anybody else. Like for example, if I ask her to go watching a movie, she just says, "I don't watch movies. Nat, you bet focusing on fictions too much. Hey, this is reality," then she will only gave me that smile again and we will end up on having a jamming- mostly Hillsongs. While most girls like chocolates, she will simply asked me to buy a cappuccino coffee jelly, and while others like romantic places for a date, she just insists me to go on a planetarium, library or museums. But I still do like her in spite of that. On Sundays, I have daily appointments on her. She's the boss that's why, so she always insists me to attend their Sunday Services.

"C'mon Nate, you will not be burnout to hell if you will go to church. In fact you always used to that when we were kids," Juliana said while smiling.

As if I have a choice, so I only shake my head then shrug my shoulders. Sometimes I thought that she is incredible. She will do their Sunday Services and Sunday Schools for their youth ministry, work on the library during weekday mornings while tutoring on the afternoons. I am very busy nowadays, that's why we only have Saturday mornings for each other, because her spare time on Saturday afternoons is already reserve on her house chores with Nana Gregoria, pottery, painting, photography and writings. Moreover, she saves leisure for her music guild and Kids' Praise Club.

Now, I am still on our audio visual recording room, while watching Juliana on her recordings. On my hand are two cups of cappuccino, coffee jelly- her usual favorite.

Juliana really had that gentle but powerful voice which makes everyone admires her. She always sings and shouts her heart.

I see you crying there again

I can't live like this forever

But you're hiding all the pain

But I see it through your eyes so plain

I know I should do

Something 'bout you

I know I should make a move

And yeah I should make a move

To help you

To help you

'Cause I am your friend

And you are my friend

And you know I hate

To see you losing your faith

Maybe she really is the hope of my life. She finds purpose for my weary soul. She never gets tired on awakening my blind eyes just to show the bright sides life. She warmth me in order to ease my pain.

I'll give you my hand

I'll give you my hand

I'll give you all my hopes

When things are out of control

So please get up off your knees

'Cause I believe . . .

In you . . .

I see you far, from afar

But deep in my heart

I know your feeling so far

So let me tell you, things will gonna be fine, fine

Things will gonna get better, later

I'll give you my shoulder

So you won't get colder

So don't be afraid

It's your faith

That will keep you stronger

When you feel like you're weaker

So keep fighting and praying

You aren't be losing

Yes, Juliana is my star that always shines on the darkest part of my world. Her smile is like matches that delimits my heart's artery. She always has her reasons on everything. Most of all, she always stays on her faith.

When you believe

If you believe

There will be this hope

When things out our control

So please get up off your knees

('Cause I believe)

The missing piece

Is right before your eyes

If you will only believe

Something's greater in your faith and prayer

(If you'll only believe that life is greater than that)

With your eyes closed

Let your faith rose

(If you'll only believe that life is greater than that)

Up above the sky

(If you only believe that you and me has) a place above high . . .

I'll give you my hand

I'll give you my hand

I'll give you all my hopes

When things are out of control

So please get up off your knees

I'll give you my hand

I'll give you my hand

I'll give you all my hopes

When things are out of control

So please get up off your knees

'Cause I am your friend

And you are my friend

And you know I hate

To see you losing your faith

Cause I believe . . .

In you . . .

I clap my hands as she finished the song. Juliana smiles at me again as she walks towards my direction.

"That's a great song babe," I said as I kiss her forehead. "Thanks," she nods.

"Ahh, Juliana, that's wonderful darling," Miss Corpuz approaches us. "You do a very well job."

Thank you," she answered as they hug each other.

"Take good care of your girl Nat Villarta," she bid us goodbye.

I only smile then turn to Juliana again.

"By the way, I have here two cups of cappuccino coffee jelly," I said as I give it to her.

"Oh, how wonderful of you, thank you."

She embraces me and gives me a smack on my lips.

"How's the feeling now?" I ask her while we are sitting on the lobby and drinking coffee.

"This is great Nathan. I can't explain it," she answered while taking a sip of coffee.

"Good," I nod.

"Know what, when Miss Corpuz asked me on what should be the title of the album, I lied when I told her that it was all ev'rything 'bout God or humanity. I mean, I chose 'Little Brothers' because I also remember Ryle, or should I call him Ryan now?" she said with a smile.

I take a sip of my coffee and smile too.

"Sure, he will be very happy if he will meet you again," I said.

"That is if he can still remember me."

"Of course, he remembers you alright," I said. "Wait, I wanna bring you somewhere else."

Sometimes I wonder, what are those reasons that made her attached on my heart that much? I mean, she is just only a typical little-girl-next-door on the very first time that I met her. She is perfectly conservative yet extraordinary. She is not really beautiful literally but she is gorgeous on her very little ways. I don't know, but every time I see her, in my eyes, she is really that stunning that I can't help it to look at her and swear to myself not to look to anybody else ever again.

"We're here babe," I whisper on her ears as I take off her blindfold. "Can you see those stuffs? For fifteen years, I made several revisions of those jet planes," I touch my nape as I shake my head. I smile. "I planned to give it to you, actually, the moment that we saw each other again."

Tears starts rolling down on her eyes. I wonder if that's what you call, tears of joy?

Actually, I bring her to my workplace. It is a combination of my recording studio and a mini museum of my collection models of ships. There is also a shelf designated for those jet planes that I am planning to give to Juliana. It has a banner with a tinted sign of 'In memories of Nathan and Julia.'

Juliana embraces me. "I love you," she said.

"I love you more," I answered. "Babe, I still have something to show you."

I accompanied her on a stool facing my piano.

"Nat, seriously?" she asks with a combination of disbelief and excitement.

"No Julie, let me finish first. In the past few days, you always show me something new, something special, something great. Now, let me be the one to speak to your ears this time. So listen, for I will going to sing my heart for the very first time in my life. This is for the one who convinced me that life is still wonderful. This is for my sunshine, my superstar that always shines on the darkest corners of my life. This is for you babe, I love you."

Juliana places her hand on her mouth as tears keeps on falling down her eyes. I only smile at her as I start playing on my piano. "The title of this song is 'My Sunshine Superstar' and I made it for you."

Your smile is like matches that delimit my heart's artery

Suddenly appears in front of my eyes

The shape of the dream that awaits me to explore

Now girl, tell me

Will I be able to feel the sunshine after the rain?

'Coz now I knew, you are my superstar

I understand that everything is not like

As simple as putting two hands together

But I can be certain

What had been burnt already

The past who hold the dream

I who was in the daze in the corner

If I may be awaken by a smile

Then today please believe

When you're here, I will be the brightest star

Your smile is like matches that delimit my heart's artery

Suddenly appears in front of my eyes

The shape of the dream that awaits me to explore

Now girl, tell me

Will I be able to feel the sunshine after the rain?

'Coz now I knew, you are my superstar

Looks like the star rotate gradually

Even the wind won't let go

Because you polish in my chest the dream

Day-by-day looks like the star twinkle

Heartbeat won't let me relax

I believe the future will be able to have me.

Your smile is like matches that delimit my heart's artery

Suddenly appears in front of my eyes

The shape of the dream that awaits me to explore

Now girl, tell me

Will I be able to feel the sunshine after the rain?

'Coz now I knew, you are my superstar

Before, I don't really know what makes her so special or why I can't help myself to be attach on her heart, but as time goes by, I realized that whenever she gave me that smile, my heart flatters and beats faster than normal. On her simple ways, I can't stop myself from smiling. She never stops on introducing myself on her world. Her laughter always paints a smile on my life drowned in vain. She is different. Really far-too-different. Now, as she embraces me while sobbing silently, I can feel her heart that sings only for our love. That gave me those reasons why, and therefore my reasons are, just because she is Juliana. That's it.