The Witch & The Exorcist

England,

Norfolk,

The Sun hid behind the horizon, it's all encompassing light slowly encroaching the landscape, awakening many who were asleep while proving to be a great nuisance to others. Birds chirped and took to the grey cloud covered skies. The temperature was at a level where it would feel cold to any who came from somewhere else, however barely a nuisance to those that lived here.

And, despite the fact that a war had been going on for decades now, despite the fact that many had died to steel and despite the fact that this war was now taking a turn for the worse, this particular part of the country was peaceful and serene.

By a dirt path, just beside one of the numerous treelines across the land, a young silver haired teenager slept soundly, his back against the trunk of a tall and old tree, one that had clearly withstood the test of time.

Samuel's clothes, understandably, weren't in the best of conditions but still did remain clean. A certain witch obsessed with knowledge contributed a lot to this.... 'endeavour'. A campfire burnt lightly near him, it's flames nearly going out.

Just near one of the silver haired teenager's legs, however, lay an inconspicuous ball of brown cloth, something one might mistake for supplies.... Well, up until it started stirring and slowly, pale arms made their way out of it, followed by the head of a young girl.

Elia groaned, but soon after remembered just where she was, who she was lying near, and backed away hastily, an embarrassed blush spread on her cheeks as she rationalised and quickly recalled the events of the night before.

The exorcist sighed in relief, holding a hand over her chest.

This man..... was her captor but Elia wouldn't deny that he was a decent person. Especially with the treatment female prisoners got in this day and age. Her gaze went to the thin blade lying to the side, her own sword, and slowly her fingers crept to it's hilt. She could potentially catch him off guard, stab him somewhere it would slow him down and run away.

"Well you could try what you're thinking."

A girl's voice made the exorcist freeze in her spot, fearful of the consequences.

Elia sighed in defeat, of course, how could she forget? There was that annoying little thing accompanying him, she was small but she was unnerving.

Echidna folded her arms and tilted her head ever so slightly, "I get the feeling you just thought something rude." It was to be noted that this implied the Witch of Greed was watching Samuel sleep.... Well..... She didn't really see anything wrong with doing so.

Elia sat properly, her legs folded and an annoyed expression slowly found it's way to her face, "So, what would happen if I did?" She asked sarcastically, it was an obvious failure now that she'd been caught. What was the harm in knowing?

"Well for one, you'd be cut down like a tree." Echidna made a small chopping motion with her hands, standing on the ground near Samuel with an amused smile on her face.... though, the fact that she was a mini version of her real size made it appear differently in comparison to what she was imagining.

"He's asleep though." Elia pointed her finger at Samuel's closed eyes, all she had to do was not scream like an idiot during a sneak attack.

"He reacts subconsciously, shocking right?" Echidna slightly widened her eyes, an attempt at conveying just how strange such a thing happening truly was to the exorcist and it worked. Elia's eyes widened in amazement, did she even know someone who could do that? Moreover, how was such a thing possible?

"Well I doubt he'd mind dying though." Echidna shook her head with a defeated expression on her face, the man really did have no regard for his life more often than not. A trait that would appear attractive to many but also greatly worrisome to the Witch, what if he didn't resurrect right after?

"What do you mean?" Elia's gaze was confused, he was a smug piece of shit that was constantly messing with her. Smug pieces of shit were often pompous faggots too.

"That's something you'll have to get him to tell you." The Witch of Greed placed a finger on her pale lips, lightly rubbing her hand against Samuel's arm before once again turning around, "Of course, the reflexes are something you've no need to worry about."

"....?"

"I would not allow such a thing to happen."

With those words, Echidna once more vanished into thin air leaving Elia both confused and annoyed, what did that even mean?

The exorcist huffed and stood up with a jump, she put on her cloak before walking over to Samuel, staring down at him. "You woke up some way through, asshole." Elia turned to walk away.

"Yes, yes I did." Samuel replied in a warm tone, rubbing his groggy eyes as he too slowly stood up. It was kind of strange to have two women talk about him like that... but, it was a new experience so all was good. Echidna probably knew about him being awake too.

As if on cue, giggling echoed in his head answering a question the teenager had never asked.

"What do you want with the church?" Elia asked with folded arms, glancing at him from the corner of her eye, she would lead him there herself if she deemed the reason good enough.

Samuel coughed, buying time to recollect his thoughts, he could say something about wanting to help people in this time of great turmoil but that would just go awry considering he'd murdered her two companions.... Wait, were they even her companions?

"A request from someone very important to me."

'The Jade Emperor? Never knew you bent the other way.'

Samuel's lips twitched slightly at the Witch's remark but it went unnoticed, his smile had been trained to perfection.

"You just wanted to join up?"

"Yep."

"...Couldn't you have walked up politely then?"

"My lack of tact is duly noted." Samuel smiled shamelessly, lying as naturally as he breathed. He had already wasted several days doing nothing but wandering around aimlessly, in that same time the Jade Emperor had accomplished the kill 1000 enemy combatants mission and was probably touring the land freely.

"Right...." Elia narrowed her gaze at him, thinking back it made sense, he treated her courteously and only asked for where the church base of operations was in exchange... Of course he could be a spy sent to infiltrate but that was implausible, he had lesser than average mana for even humans.

"Come along then." The exorcist sighed once more and started walking in an entirely different direction, he may have been lost but Elia recognised this land better than anyone there. She could only lament not asking for his reasons as she walked, it would have saved her and him a lot, a LOT of time.

'That's DxD for you.' Echidna looked down on the universe that made a pervert look good and she made no effort to hide her distaste.

Samuel just followed behind the exorcist with a shit eating grin.

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Share thoughts mfs.

Read up to 8+ chapter ahead on p@treon, p@treon.com/stoned_face

Sorry bout the late update, I dozed off then got sidetracked.

In case you're curious, I was checking out some fics after a while of not reading shit and truly, Webnovel slowly treads down the path of becoming more and more of a shithole as time passes.

Well, I did find some nice stuff too.

Firstly, there was Kanokari. After Rent-A-Girlfriend...., yeah, after sitting through that dumpster fire, I found it on rankings and it was nice, Kazuya? Was that the fag's name? Dies, so instant 5 star fic.

Then there's My School Life With A System, somehow I read all of that with an empty mind all the way through and don't remember shit about it. But, it says I finished all chapters in my library so.... yeah I guess?

Next we have, A Swallow's Path, now that one is strange. There's little to no problems with writing but strangely, it feels so boring that I couldn't even make it to ten chapters. Maybe just a me thing? Anyone else know anythin?

There's [Transmigration], got back to that one after quite the while actually and yeah, the fic has moments which make you buckle over but it's amazing.

There's Omni-Dimensional Incarnation System, any fic with a dead Shinji and a spoiled Sakura is a good fic.

I read this fic called Fate/Despire but I don't know what the fuck happened in it. Well, I do but I can't understand.

Then there was, Re: Invader, that one's got like one or two chapters but it has Mordred in it and fuck you, that's reason enough. The rest was pretty nice too, first chapter had the land split so....yeah.

On another note, anyone got any good Danmachi fics? Yeah yeah, I know we have lots of those but you'll be surprised when you actually try to look, can't find a nice one at all.