Getting Over It

Tokyo, Japan,

Hayes Residence,

Samuel POV,

The Sun slowly rose from behind the clouds, it's beautiful rays illuminating all they fell on. Perhaps due to the coldness of the night before, their warmth was pleasant to the skin. A calm breeze ran across the city, yet in the distance, grey clouds rolled in as well. Maybe it would be a rainy day? The damp and humid scent wafting through the city alongside the breeze certainly said something about that.

Teenagers and children set off towards their schools, some enthusiastic, some dead inside and others just chose to stay home. Those that had become adults now went for colleges, universities or their own individual jobs, such was the way of the world. Those talented few that managed to attain something would spend their days at ease while others would slave away at corporate jobs.

All in all, the bustling and busy city of Tokyo was as it always was.

At the Hayes Residence, servants could be seen doing their duties. The few maids worked to clean the already spotless floors and ran around hectically, it would soon be time for the master's breakfast. Butlers took up their positions and gardeners tended to the numerous gardens in the compound. Those responsible for security took up their posts while others left, already finished with their duties.

Armed to the teeth and highly trained, these people were more like a private force... Well, it was understandable though. All the Big Four had privately contracted small militaries under them at this point in time what with the continually devolving situation of the nation as a whole.

All this however, is not important at the moment.

In an ornate bathroom, with white tile covered walls and floor, a silver haired teenager could be seen washing his face, a difficult expression spread across his face. He wore no shirt, only black trousers and naturally, his well built upper body was on full display. Broad shoulders, a well toned stomach with prominent muscles and arms bulging with raw power, it wasn't a figure of speech that Samuel looked far thinner when fully dressed as compared to when he wasn't, like right now.

Groaning, his shoulders slumped down as he too looked down, "That backfired." Sleeping hadn't exactly cleared away his doubts, it just made him feel even stupider and annoyed with himself.

At the same time, the nagging feeling of not being worthy of all he'd been given had slowly come back and stronger than before. Accepting that he enjoyed bringing pain to others just made him feel worse as a person, more so because he knew he couldn't do much about it.

'You don't have to do anything about it. There's a lot of sadists out there.... I suppose the extremity is a problem but that's only because you've a conscience, a trait an 'unworthy' person wouldn't have.' Echidna huffed. 'Frankly, I'm displeased.' What did that make her then? Who didn't think twice about committing the most horrendous of crimes so long as it was to her benefit?

'You're stupid.' The Witch of Greed went off on a tangent.

"I.... I've made a decision." Samuel nodded to himself, tightly gripping the sink, "It's not possible to avoid it. I'll limit it to those that do deserve it.... according to society." He huffed too, what was wrong and what was good in the first place? Wasn't it just something up to personal interpretation?

'Acceptable.' Echidna nodded, pleasantly surprised with his decision. This was progress!

"And for being worthy...." Samuel, walked out of the bath and into his room. Carpet covered floors, a chandelier hanging from the ceiling, windows with golden frames, a double bed made of high quality fabric... Yeah, this was the life... Or so many would say.

It just made Samuel more annoyed with himself.

There were those more deserving. There were better people. Yet at the same time, a part of him thought, so what?

His father had vehemently insisted that he WAS worthy, that none deserved it more than him but his own subconscious rejected that notion.

'Three or four words and this would end.' Echidna sighed, defeated. The only problem was, she couldn't make contact with anyone other than him at the moment and her saying it wouldn't have an effect. The only people who could end it, were his own family.

Flimsily putting on a white shirt, Samuel fell back on his bed, not bothering to button it up, he had to go to school the next day too.... His mentality was being shitty right now.

The teenager would have again dozed off to sleep, only, it seemed such a thing wouldn't be possible.

Someone lightly knocked on the door, "Sammy, it's mom. Let me in...."

Lazily, Samuel looked towards the luxurious wooden door before,... He sighed again. He wanted to greet her all prim and proper but he couldn't find the strength needed to do so.

Still however, he opened the door, letting his mother in.

As expected, the older woman was shocked by his appearance.

Mei... had never seen her son in such a state and without thinking much, she hugged him tightly, wrapping her arms around him "What's wrong? Come on, tell me. What's wrong? How can I help?" She spoke quickly, her words coming off slightly strange due to her hurried pace.

Samuel looked at his own mother with a pensive gaze, but, he did decide to be more open with his actual feelings and so, he spoke, "Why do you support someone like me?" He felt embarrassed yes, he wanted to punch himself but, he had to do this.

"What?" Mei looked taken aback by his words as she sat him down on the bed, "What do you mean by that?" Her tone was a bit hurt, "I do it because I'm your mother. What other reason do I need? Do you need a reason to support your children?" She gripped his shoulder, staring into his blue eyes, "You see, mothers, mothers love their children more than anything, even if they shout at them or get angry. No real mother can ever truly dislike her children."

"But I, I've killed someone. I enjoyed seeing the pain. I did it knowingly." Samuel didn't put on the usual calm and smiling demeanour, instead, his words seemed almost desperate. It was even pathetic but he wasn't at all in the right state of mind.

"I know. I don't care." Mei smiled widely, happy that he finally talked about it but also sad that he thought she'd dislike him for it. It was a strange and unnatural view, she knew that but she just didn't care. To her, he was just her son. No matter what, he'd always be her son and she'd always love him.

"I'm not...." Samuel's shoulders seemed to slump further and further as he spoke, as a man, it wasn't easy doing something like this. Even now, some part of him told him to laugh and try to play this off as a prank... The other, hoped that maybe someone would truly accept someone like him, "Worthy."

"It doesn't matter. You don't have to be."

'.......Finally, mothers are strange creatures.' Echidna, for the first time in a long time, felt happy. Those, those were the words he needed to truly accept himself. Acceptance from others? Bah. Her contractor only fooled himself by thinking he cared about something like that. Accepting himself was the only hurdle in his life.

Samuel himself, was speechless, backing away ever so slightly as he looked at his own scarred hands..... She.... She was right. He didn't HAVE to be anything.

"You just have to be you. I'll always be proud that I have you as a son. So will your father. So Samuel, just let this go. Be you, for me."

Samuel no longer knew what to think, and minutes passed in silence. Minutes that seemed to be eternity. Mei only looked at her son, hoping he'd come out on top of this and lamenting that she'd not confronted this sooner. Maybe he wouldn't have been in such a state then. She hugged him tightly.

And finally, after what seemed to be a moment that would never pass, "Alright...." Samuel hugged her back, significantly embarrassed but too grateful to care. He.... After decades, he felt as if a heavy weight had been lifted off his shoulders and chest.... And each breath now, felt like fresh air. For the first time in a long time, Samuel truly 'saw' and 'felt'.

And he made a decision right there and then, to be himself. If not for himself, then for his mother who so one-sidedly supported and loved him.... Still, it would take some time to be truly done with this.

'Nope. You can punish me for this but I'm ejecting this whole dilemma right now.' Echidna saw the deliberation period as a completely pointless waste of time that would do more harm than good and possibly cause regression so she was going to uproot it right there.

"Sto-"

'Too late.'

Samuel.... felt strange now.

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