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A Pervert's Dream (DISCONTINUED Until REWRITE)

Brian is a simple guy. When he dies and gets reincarnated...he suddenly finds himself with options. He could do... anything and be anyone. Pursue greatness rather than being contented with what society offered him. So he latches on to what was his most unattainable desire from before. To bang the Black Widow. Make her shout his name in euphoria and a plethora of other Perverted things. But to get there he needs to be strong enough. Let's start the Grind.

Saintbarbido · Movies
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63 Chs

Alternate Timelines, New Skill and Extendo

15 chapters in my Pat.reon. Pat.reon.com/Saintbarbido.

(General P.O.V)

"Lord Cooler, sorry to disturb you, but you have a package."

A servant said to a tall alien who looked like Frieza only bigger, taller and pretty much just overall better.

Cooler waved his hand in dismissal. Too busy looking at something on the screen. The servant placed the package on the table and made to withdraw.

A deep voice stopped him however.

"Wait. Open it."

The servant gulped and started to unwrap the package tied up in a red ribbon. He placed his hands on the package and lifted the lid. Instantly, the alien sucked in a deep breath. A low chuckle shocked him back into reality.

"My Lord…I…"

"So that's where you've been hiding all this time dear brother, and to think I was searching for your ship everywhere."

Cooler said while chuckling. The image on the screen had been of Frieza's ship that had disappeared a while ago. When Cooler sent his spies, all they had found there had been pieces of a destroyed planet floating about. 

He didn't need to search anymore because Frieza's head was inside the package and with it the note, Happy Death Day. Cooler looked at the note and cocked his head. Whoever had killed Frieza was a funny guy.

A second later Cooler's ship exploded, killing him instantly and with him his forces. 

In another sector, King Cold faced the same fate. He didn't get the chance to say or do anything because once he received Frieza's Torso in a gift package, it exploded unexpectedly.

In one swift motion, The cold family was made history. Brian who was meditating in his cabin smiled when he felt the remote ki bombs he had placed in Frieza's body parts explode. He had used the wishing bead to conceal the energy inside them, condensing over a billion power level worth of Ki, then sent them over.

(Brian's P.O.V)

After killing Frieza, I had preserved his body inside my inventory. I didn't spare anyone in Frieza's ship. Luckily, Vegeta and his team were not around. Probably out there in the universe causing havoc. Raditz's trip to the earth would occur soon but something tells me he would lose badly this time.

I also made sure to send Omniman and All For One back to their universes. It wasn't my fate to defeat them and frankly...Izuku and the others needed the challenge to live up to their potential. Omniman on the other hand...I had given him a lot to think about. Hopefully he listened to my words. 

After all that I'd thought to myself, 'King Cold will go on a rampage when he finds out Frieza is dead so why not save the galaxy the trouble abd get rid of them all? Not only that, I'll end them in the most insulting way possible.'

I didn't see a point in being honorable to people like Frieza who massacred civilizations on a whim. Take that honor bullshit to Pete not me. 

A little luck manipulation using the Wishing bead again, had ensured that the packages got to where they needed to go. A simple solution to what seemed like a difficult thing. Then again not everyone was like me. Powerful, handsome, immensely talented, handsome, Smart, handsome and handsome. Cough cough.

I had the object in question on the palm of my hand, thinking. My actions hadn't accounted for the changes in the timeline. And to be honest, I didn't really care about preserving the timeline that much. However, with the death of Frieza, there wouldn't be a Super Saiyan. Without a Super Saiyan there wouldn't be a Saiyan god or Super Saiyan blue.

I really really wanted to fight a Red or Blue Goku. This timeline was fucked and bringing it back to it's right track would take more effort than I was willing to put in. It was possible to do so with the wishing bead but although the energy inside it hadn't dropped by even 1 percent, it was wasteful to do so. That meant I had to look at this conundrum from a different perspective.

Mmh…if I can't change this world's timeline, why not go to the main one where events occured in line with canon before my intervention? As a matter of fact, why haven't I been attacked by the time patrol? I mean the deviation to the timeline occured due to me. I'm sure Chronoa didn't miss it so what the fuck?

In any case, I'm lucky I caught onto that quickly. If I was going to jump timelines then I would need to find a way to better hide myself and run interference whenever my actions caused a temporal distortion. A temporal distortion leads to deviations in the timeline resulting in the Time Patrol investigating the source. 

Why stop at that? Why not extend that ability even further? I had the means to do so after all. I pulled up the Interface after planning out what I wanted.

( Extend the capabilities of Dimensional Jump to include access to Alternate dimensions and timelines of a given world. And also add Temporal manipulation to allow free travel through the time stream. Last but not least, increase the capabilities of my energy cloaking to include Dimensional Jump and it's related sub skills. Use the energy in the Pure Wishing Bead to achieve these objectives.)

[ Analysing… processing…complete. Check the display for new changes. ]

I waved the text box away. My sight was drawn back to the Wishing Bead. I couldn't keep on using it like this, before I found a way to replicate the energy inside. 

"I'm like a kid with a shiny new toy."

I muttered while admiring the Bead. Again. I shook my head and sent it to my inventory.

No more using the bead for normal stuff. I would only use it in emergencies. I rose up and went over the routine I had set up for myself. Do Katas, swim and then finish it up with 2 hours of meditation.

My energy control was getting better and better and it helped me immensely because I was on the way to completely mastering a particular skill. 

I had used True Reveal to analyse some of the Z-fighters' skills. Most of them were just variations of the normal Ki beam attack but one of them had stuck out to me. The Multiform skill. The skill had massive potential and having recognized that, my practice sessions had changed to include that and also Long Pole/Staff practice.

The Staff was Son Goku's and I wasn't ashamed to say I stole it. He never used it in DBZ going forwards anyway. After completing my meditation exercise, the Staff appeared in my hands from my inventory. I had put it there before the Super Epic Showdown. Usually, I had it strapped on my back by ki bindings. 

I swung the staff a couple of times to test it out. Then I activated the Multiform skill and instantly felt a drain. A glowing outline of my body stepped away and the light died down, revealing another me. 

"Hey man."

He said.

"Sup."

I replied, openly staring. Damn. Natasha's fucked. There's no way she can resist this guy. He smiled.

"Yeah. We're fucking hot."

I chuckled. 

"Check to see if you have the Interface."

He stared blankly in space for a few seconds before shaking his head, a little disappointed.

"Damn. Seems like that's a privilege exclusive for the main body. Lucky bastard."

"Don't worry about it. Maybe in the future I'll find a way to link all of my active clones to it."

"Yeah that would be great. At this point,the Interface is our biggest tool." My clone said while making himself comfortable in my hammock. "Imagine if we had decided to stick to cultivation alone. We would probably be in a cave somewhere. That seems boring."

"Yeah tell me about it." I started still getting a feel for the staff. 

"You want some beer, fruit juice or whatever?"

His eyebrows lit up in interest.

"A beer would be nice." Was his response. I deadpanned.

"You're crazy if you think I'm bringing it to you. Get your ass up and go get it yourself. After that, come back. I wanna test something."

He sighed and floated up from the Hammock before flying to the kitchen. Meanwhile I brought out the Interface and read through the changes. My suspicions were confirmed. My Ki had been divided between the clone and I. 

[Name: Brian Parker]

Cultivation level: N/A

Power Level: 150,000,000,000,000. (150 Trillion).- You have achieved the highest level a mortal of your species can reach in Body Strength alone. All physical related skills enhanced to their peak.

New Ki Skill: Multiform - Create upto 3 Perfect clones. Ki is divided equally among all including the main body. Clones share memory with the main body once they are dispelled.

My clone came in with a glass of orange juice half empty. 

"I thought you said you wanted beer?"

He shrugged.

"Freshly squished orange juice is so much better."

"Yeah whatever."

Let's get out of here, I thought and teleported out of the cabin to Pokemon and then back to Dragonball. We landed on a planet that had a gravity of 100 times that of the earth. 

For us, we might as well have been on a beach because there was no strain or the feeling of discomfort.

"You should really expand on the capabilities of Dimensional Jump to include shot range teleportation."

My clone offered looking around. 

"I know. I just think it would be better if I learned it from the Yardratians. Using the Interface for everything will make me complacent."

The clone shrugged.

"Your call."

"Ok. You know what we came here for. Let's put the other stuff aside."

My clone smiled at my words and a Staff made entirely out of Ki manifested in his hands. My version of Multiform didn't copy complex artifacts like Goku's Staff, which was a bummer. 

We were standing in a desert. The sky overhead had two Suns shining down on us but the planet didn't support life. I could feel my body adapting slowly to run itself on Carbon Dioxide, which was abundant in the air. The planet itself was very similar to Mars and was one of the reasons I had picked it. 

The other reason…it was made out of a rocky substance that was very durable. Not quite on the level of Katchin, the prime and strongest metal in DBZ but it was durable. That meant we wouldn't destroy this planet accidentally. That reminds me…I have got to get a few tons of Katchin before I leave. I want my suit of armor after all. Though it seems kind of pointless at my level of power. Right now, I bet Pete has already come up with the arc reactor from the ideas I gave him. Though I'm not really sure how much that's going to help.

Danger Sense warned me of an attack to my temple that I blocked easily. The Ki staff on the clone's hands shattered into tiny pieces.

" Ok. That didn't work. Let's try this."

The second time, he formed the Ki Staff but condensed more and more into it till it started pulsing with energy.

"That's about as hard as I can make it."

He added and twirled it. The Staff had retained it's length and thickness but the details on it had become more pronounced. It looked like Sun Wukong's original pole from The Forbidden Kingdom. 

I looked at the plain looking staff in my hand and felt a little jealous. On a whim, I started channelling my ki inside the staff and suddenly the it changed to an exact replica of the image inside my head. 

"Whoa, could it do that all this time?"

My clone asked but I was too busy studying the new and improved weapon. 

"I'm going to call you…Extendo."

"Oh come on! You named such a cool looking weapon after a blunt? Really? And don't deny it…"

I coughed in a little embarrassment.

"Shut up clone."

The pole in my hand extended, aimed at his head. The fucker ducked by leaning his upper body way back to the floor. I brought the pole slamming down onto him and his body burst into a cloud of Ki. Ok, I stared amazed at the staff in my hands. My enhancement had made it a bit stronger.

A crack ran from the ground at the point where the Staff slammed down and extended as far as the eye could see. Scratch that, my enhancement made it a LOT more stronger.

Ki left my body again and another clone formed.

"Let's hope you're not like the last guy."

The clone stared at me and said.

"You got issues man."