Chapter Five

I open the door to find my girlfriend who has been standing there for some time now. I know she knows that I have different girls. But it's my defense and coping mechanism in a relationship. I am afraid to have just one girl that I am too attached to. I am afraid that one day she will wake up and decide not to want me. I do love her. A lot. And I do respect her. Even if people do not see it. I respect the patience she has. Her courage and strength.

She gives me a brief and sad smile as she ushers herself in. I admire her backside as she walks past me and can not ignore that urge to smack it. I quickly hug her from behind, taking her by suprise completely. She relaxes as I take in the refreshing taste of the curve of her neck. 'I'm sorry. Baby please forgive me. I promise to make it up to you.' I say trailing kisses in that section. 'How will you make up for not caring about me?' She asks in a small voice and it breaks my heart as I realise that is what she thinks. The person I love most in this world thinks I don't care about her.

'Baby, never say that. I love you. And I will always do so. Never doubt that.' My phone goes off and I do not bother to pick up because I know who it is. 'That's your dad. Must be important if he is calling you continuously. Pick it up.' She says as it starts to ring again. I curse and yank the phone from my back pocket.

'Hello.' I say as a form of greeting. Waiting for him to finish talking so I hung up. I see Hade go into the kitchen and I do not bother to follow her because I know she wants to give me privacy and also wants to busy herself just to put herself together. My mind is drawn back to whatever he is saying when I hear him say something about he having a new job in Rome. I know what this means. He is taling my mother and my little angel away. And to see them, I had to go with him. 'You wouldn't dare.' I seethe. 'What's done is done son. Pack your bags we leave in a month and I have already gained admission for you into the school you wanted to go to. Besides I am doing you a favour. You always wanted to go there.' He says and hungs up.

Faustrated, I throw my phone to the wall, wanting to shout but I can't. My training from childhood makes it difficult for me to express emotions. 'What was it?' Jade asks coming to hug me from behind. She always knows when I need a hug. I can't loose her. She is my pillar and I'm a jerk to her because I'm not used to this. I'm not used to depending on anyone else. I've been so independent since I turned six. Who wouldn't? Living in a house with no love from my dad. No sort of affection from my father.

'I hate him so much.' I say. The first time in a long time I'm letting someone know the depth of how much I hate that man.

'Don't say that. He's your father.' She admonishes me gently. 'He isn't. He's just a sperm donor who has no idea what being a father means. I wish he was dead sometimes.' I say with gritted teeth. 'Surely, it can't be that bad.' I shake my head at her presumption. 'You have no idea how bad it is. Being the son of a multi-millionaire who is much revered. No one knows what it is like to live with such a despicable person. He - ' I pause realisinv that I was saying too much. I take in a deep breath as I turn around and hug her. 'Please let's just forget about this for now. Can we talk about what you wanted to talk about?' I ask knowing she wouldn't do that. She wouldn't want to break up with me after knowing that I'm not in the right mind right now. I know it is not fair. But I'm not ready to loose her. Not yet.

'Forget about it. Not now. I doesn't matter anymore. 'She says getting away from me. 'Can we go out?'I ask knowing that I have scored a few more moments with her. 'Sure. Where?' She answers looking distant. We are not necessarily toxic but then I am not helping her. I am selfish when it comes to her and I know it. There is no way I'm going to let her go now. Even though letting her break it off with me now would be the safest option.

'Let's go on a date. One that we will forever remember.' I whisper as I lean in to steal a kiss.

'Okay.'

'I love you.' I whisper. I know I do. Otherwise, there is no way I'm going to be this dependent on her. My rock. One more month. Then I break it off. I know how to do so already.