9. I just called to say

X~~~~X

"Castle residence." A cheery female voice answered the phone, catching Kate off guard. She hadn't considered someone else other than Castle could be answering the phone.

"Hello?" the voice asked slightly irritated by the silence she was met with.

Kate couldn't bring herself to say something, thoughts spinning wild in her head. He had asked her to call, right? It was okay to ask for him and why did she care if she got him into trouble with one of his girlfriends or whatever he called them? Still there weren't any words coming out of to her. She heard someone mumble in the background, a question she didn't quite catch and then the volume of a TV turned down.

"Hello?" the voice on the other end of the line asked again, more impatient this time and Kate knew she needed to open her mouth before whoever or whatever was hanging up on her.

"Yes hi, uhm this is Kate Beckett. May I speak to Richard Castle?"

This time she was the one to be met with silence and again she wondered who the woman was. But then again what was it to her? She heard something that sounded like someone standing up before the woman asked her to hold for a moment. Her tone friendly, even a bit excited, maybe it wasn't one of his girlfriends after all.

Rick looked at his mother with questioning eyes as she got up and covered the mouth piece after telling whoever was on the phone to wait a moment.

"It's her," she whispered, causing Rick to shoot up from the couch as if struck by lightning.

"What do I do?" His voice was high pitched with panic.

His mother rolled her eyes, "Talk to the girl." She pushed the phone into his chest for him to take it with reluctant hands. He had hoped so much for her call over the past few days and all of a sudden he had no idea what to say.

Kate in the meantime wondered what was taking so long, contemplating whether she should hang up as she heard his unsteady voice over the line.

"Hello, Kate?" He asked nervously, while walking into his office, closing the door behind him after one more encouraging nod from his mother.

"Yes," she replied shortly and for what seemed like an eternity neither of them said another word.

"I'm so glad you called," he finally got out on a sigh, sinking down into the chair behind his desk.

"Well you didn't really leave me much of a choice," she replied curtly, picking at a speck on the cushion she was clutching to her stomach, pulling her legs up under her to curl into the corner of her couch.

She heard him take in a deep breath, "Listen Kate, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for what I said the other day. Please believe me, I didn't mean it."

She left that hanging in the air, waiting for him to pick up the conversation again.

"Okay, okay," he took another nervous gulp of air, while she heard him fumbling with something, before he continued with a shaky voice, "I get it. You don't trust me and I know you have no reason to," another pause and more heavy breathing over the line. "You don't know me but I promise you, the guy from three days ago, that's not me. I don't know what's gotten into me. All I want is a chance. I'll do whatever you ask. I just want a chance to get to know her. I just want to get to know my daughter."

He waited for her to say something and when she didn't he begged. "Kate, please. Give me a chance."

He heard her clear her throat before she finally spoke, "I don't want to do this over the phone. My shift ends at six tomorrow and there is a diner across from my precinct. Remy's. Can you meet me there?"

He nodded eagerly, then realizing she couldn't see his movements hastily said, "Sure, sure I'll be there. Remy's, tomorrow at six." He repeated her instructions, scribbling it all down on a piece of paper just in case.

"Okay, night," she said quickly and was already lowering the phone to end the call when she heard him say, "Until tomorrow."

"So?" Martha raised expectant eyes at her son as he walked back into the living room, looking wary.

"She'll meet me tomorrow after her shift." He stuttered unbelieving.

"Oh, darling that is wonderful, isn't it?" Martha smiled but could see the hesitation on her son's face. Frowning she asked, "What's wrong?"

"Well, she actually hasn't agreed to anything yet," he shrugged. He didn't want to get his hopes up, he had done that once before and it had ended in disaster.

"Richard, surely she didn't agree to meet you if she's not willing to hear you out and give you a chance." Martha set down beside him on the couch, patting his knee.

"She said I didn't leave her much of a choice."

"Well," Martha scrunched her face, slightly raising her shoulders, "she does sort of have point there."

He gave her a look, sinking further into the couch, "Great, thanks, that helps."

"Look," she reached for his hand, giving it an affectionate squeeze, "I'm not saying she's all right and you're all wrong. You do have every right to meet your daughter. But you don't know why she reacted the way she did or what happened to her back then. So what ever reasons she had, justified or not, it is what it is now. You will have to earn each others trust. But," she raised one finger, "it's a start. You have a foot in the door and that's what you need to focus on. Take it from there. See what she has to say tomorrow, maybe she'll surprise you, who knows. The rest is going to be work, hard work. But we both know it'll be worth it."

"Right," he sighed, "Thank you," he offered her a weak smile, before standing up. "I'll," he pointed into the direction of his bedroom.

"Yeah," Martha nodded in understanding, smiling warmly at her son. "Night, Kiddo. I'll take the guestroom if you don't mind."

There was no answer needed, so taking the wine glasses and placing them into the sink, Martha walked up the stairs to get ready for bed herself.

Yet again perched on her window sill Kate stared into the night, the unfinished glass of wine clutched to her chest. She hardly ever drank wine or any other alcoholic beverage for that matter, but tonight she had needed it to calm her nerves before calling him. Now she left it unfinished.

She had to admit the call had gone better than she'd expected. She still was suspicious of course, but his apology at least sounded heartfelt and it had stirred something in her. A memory of the night they had shared and of what she had seen in his eyes back then.

Kate knew somewhere deep down inside he was not the only one at fault here, though she wasn't ready to admit it just yet.

There had been a variety of reasons why she had never told him about Jamie. And his outburst and threats had brought her biggest fear from those days right back to her. Then and now she had been scared, scared that he might take Jamie from her.

When she had been lying in that sterile hospital room, scared and alone Jamie had been the only person she had left, her only family. A little bundle of joy beaming up at her as if her mom held all the answers, when actually Kate had never been so clueless in her whole life.

Jamie had been the only reason for her to keep going during that time, the thought of losing her was unthinkable, unbearable. Never in her life had she thought she could feel like this. That even though she had cut the last strings with her father just minutes ago, her heart was exploding from so much love for the little girl in her arms. Nothing compared to that. She knew right then that she would never give her up, never.

Taking a deep breath and getting down from the window sill, she walked into the kitchen pouring the remains of the red wine into the sink, before putting the glass aside and before walking to her bedroom.

It still didn't sit right with her for him to be involved in their lives, for all she knew from the tabloids he was a playboy, out on the town every other weekend entertaining women, being the centre on every party and countless affairs lining his path. Not really father material when you looked at it this way. But he had also been a single dad for the past couple of years and though she had never seen any pictures of him and his daughter, she liked to think it was because he kept her out of the media and not because he wasn't spending much time with her.

In the end it all came down to one fact, she didn't know him.

And no matter from which angle she looked at it, she had to accept that there was only one reasonable decision for her to make, she had to give him a chance, had to take the risk she had avoided for so long. She might not be ready to admit she even owed it to him, but she knew she owed it to her daughter. Jamie deserved this chance, had deserved it all along. She needed to accept that. She just had to make sure her baby girl wouldn't get hurt along the way.

So she better be prepared for their meeting tomorrow, have a plan for how she wanted this to go from now on. If she could trust his words, he would follow her lead, accept whatever she offered. She better made sure she knew what that was.

X~~~X