21. The Zoo - Part 2

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Kate hadn't gotten much sleep the last night, half expecting for Jamie to have another nightmare and half waiting for herself to freak out over the day's events and the big revelation, but neither happened. Jamie had slept like a stone after they had put her back to bed. Even though Kate had checked on her multiple times during the night, in the end fearing she would be the reason if her daughter woke up again.

But laying in bed and thinking about it all she realized, that while she was still daunted by the whole situation and maybe even a bit scared, the panic she had felt so often over the past weeks didn't resurface. She had come to know Castle better over the past few weeks and while she still wasn't sure who Castle the man really was she was absolutely sure that Castle the father was the best dad she could have imagined for her daughter.

He had told her about Alexis, had wanted her to know who his daughter was and she couldn't help but feel as if she already knew the girl. She had laughed when he had told her that Alexis actually was the grown-up in their household, had loved when he'd told her he had never hired a nanny for her, that he always made sure it was him or his mother who tucked her in at night and only on rare occasions he hired a babysitter, the teenaged daughter of a friend. He didn't like to go on long book tours without her, so he tried to arrange that she could come along or he was able to make short trips home to see her. It was more than obvious that he lived to be a father and that he loved every minute of being one.

He wasn't as forthcoming about his mother, had told her he didn't want to scare her away and somehow she had the feeling he was only half joking.

But she could actually see it now, how this could work out between them, how they could make it work for Jamie. She'd believed him when he said they would work it all out.

Reality had struck her fast though, dropping Jamie off at Cynthia's in the morning Jamie's first enthusiastic words had been, "Rick Jamie daddy."

All Cynthia had to do was stare into Kate's wide shocked eyes to know it was true, but she mercifully didn't start to question her. Knowing Kate well enough to know she wouldn't tell her anything right now. But Kate knew it was only a delay for things to come, realizing the day would come on which she had to let other people in on the news as well. Being the mother of Richard Castle's child wasn't something she could sweep under the rug forever.

But right now she pushed these thoughts back into a far corner of her mind, 'one step after another' she told herself and the next step was Alexis.

Castle crossed the street, almost colliding with a cab he had overlooked. He was running late and he knew Kate needed to get back to the precinct in time, but Paula had once again bugged him about the book tour and Gina had shoved her cleavage into his vision, trying to convince him to go out for lunch when all he had wanted was to get out to see Jamie and Kate. There had to be an easier way than constantly having to deal with the two of them. He certainly had other things on his mind.

"Kate!" He called when he caught sight of her, sitting next to Jamie on a park bench, who was looking through what looked like a picture book to him.

"Castle," she waved, getting up to meet him halfway, a smile around her lips as she saw him sprinting towards her.

"Hey," he breathed heavily, stopping in front of her, hands on his knees as he tried to catch his breath. "Sorry I'm late, I got - caught up in a meeting and traffic was horrible. I ran the last seven blocks." He got out before gulping down some more air.

Kate bit her lip, trying not to laugh, "Actually you're half an hour early, Castle."

"What?" He huffed, still breathing heavily. "Seriously?"

"Yes," she laughed. "I told you to meet us half past."

Castle looked at his watch and back at her, it was only five minutes past one, "Seriously?"

"Seriously."

"Huh," he looked a bit confused, his hair standing up in a funny way and Kate felt the sudden and strange need to smooth it down, to run her fingers through his bangs to see if they were as soft as they appeared to be. She bit down hard on her bottom lip to stop her forbidden train of thoughts. She knew how his hair felt. It might be a slightly distant memory, but she remembered how it had felt between her fingers. She had to literally take a step back from him, covering it up as a move to get them going.

"Come on, Castle," she said, tilting her head into Jamie's direction, who was still sitting on the bench, engrossed in her book.

"How is she?" Castle asked, as he walked beside her.

"Excited," Kate smiled and he tried to recall a day when he had seen her smile as much and as willingly as she had been in the past ten minutes "Cynthia said she didn't stop talking about her daddy all morning."

"Yes?" He heart swelled with what he heard.

"Yes," Kate chuckled. "She said Jamie made it sound as if you're Superman."

"Superman?" Castle grinned from ear to ear, "I like the sound of that."

"Get over it, Castle." Kate rolled her eyes at him. "Gloating will give you wrinkles."

He just kept grinning, "So Cynthia knows?"

"Yes, Jamie blabbed it out five seconds after she opened the door this morning," Kate shot him a careful glance, not sure how he would take this news. She hadn't planned for anyone else to know before he had a chance to talk to his daughter, but she could hardly tell Jamie to keep it to herself.

But his eyes were still sparkling, "I guess there was no use in denying it then."

"Not really, no." Kate grinned back with relief in her eyes as they reached the bench. "Jamie, look who's here."

Looking up, Jamie's shy eyes met Rick's.

"Hey Jamie," he greeted his daughter enthusiastically, leaning down towards her, tipping her nose with his index finger.

"Hi Rick," she replied quietly, before sticking her head back into the book.

Castle's head turned to look at Kate, confusion written all over his face. Didn't she just tell him Jamie was excited, that he was her Superman? But Kate just shook her head, her eyes telling him silently not to worry.

"It's just because it's all new to her," she spoke quietly pulling him a few steps away from their daughter, "just give her a couple of minutes. I'm sure it will be fine."

New? How could it be knew when they had been seeing each other for weeks now?

Kate yet again seemed to read his thoughts. "Until yesterday you were just Rick, the funny guy she loves to spend time with, but now you're her dad. That's a huge change but believe me, she couldn't wait to see you. So don't worry." Her hand squeezed his arm and his eyes travelled down to watch it slowly retreat before lifting up to push a strand of hair out her face. He knew he was staring.

Kate sat down on the bench, patting the spot in between her and Jamie for Castle to take and he did, glad Kate was apparently smoothing the way for him. Still it had caught him off guard that Jamie seemed to avoid him and he was at a loss as to what to do.

So they sat in silence until Kate bumped his shoulder, encouraging him to make the first step. Taking a deep breath he leant over and looked at the book Jamie was so interested in and seeing which one it was he suddenly had an idea.

"Hey Jamie, what do you think of going to the zoo?" He asked tentatively, watching his daughter's eyes slowly turn to him. "Would you like that? Just you and me?"

Instead of answering him, she looked straight at her mom. "Mommy?"

"Mommy has to work, Sweetie. But your daddy brings you back home after you're done and then you can tell me all about it, okay?"

Jamie nodded before sticking her nose back into her book that showed pictures of a variety of wild life animals. Kate knew it was one of her favorites. Jamie loved all kinds of animals and she could look through this book over and over again. She never got tired of it. She would love to go to the zoo.

"Why don't you two get going," Kate suggested. She had tons of paperwork and maybe if she went back in early on her lunch break she could leave on time in the evening.

"You sure?" Castle asked. "I don't want to cut short on your time with Jamie."

Kate gave him a smile, "It's alright. You two have fun at the zoo."

"Okay," Castle nodded, getting up and holding out his hand to Jamie.

The little girl scooted over to her mother, giving her a hug and a kiss and for a second Castle heart clenched painfully as he feared she didn't want to go with him, but then she took his hand and shuffled off the bench to follow him.

"Bye mommy," she smiled and waved back at her mother.

"Have fun Baby Bird." Kate waved back. "See you later Castle."

He nodded and then picked Jamie up to place her on his shoulders, before crossing the street and heading for the subway station.

Jamie clung to him throughout the whole subway ride, but whenever he asked her something she just nodded or shook her head. Castle sighed. This was not at all how he had imagined their day together. It had been stupid of him to believe Jamie would just accept the fact that he was her dad and they would go on as if nothing had changed. He should have been prepared for this, but he wasn't. The truth was he felt helpless.

But then Jamie saw the sea lions and everything changed, "Look Daddy!" she exclaimed excitedly, tugging at his hand to get him to move faster. She didn't stop babbling from there on. Her excitement even grew when they reached the barn and she could actually pet the animals.

Castle had bought them ice cream and hot dogs, which they were enjoying in a small, secluded resting area while Jamie sat on Castle's lap as he tried not to get them both covered in mustard.

"You're daughter is adorable," Castle looked up to see a good-looking-blonde standing next to them.

"Thank you," he said, smiling brightly.

"I'm Carol," the woman offered, obviously interested in getting to know him better.

"Rick," he replied, his smile losing some of its brightness. He wasn't here to flirt.

"So Rick," she practically purred and Castle had to refrain from rolling his eyes. "You two are all alone?"

Putting on his best poker face, he pretended not to notice the get on hidden in her words as he replied. "Yes her mom had to work today."

Carol took the hint, "I see. Well it was nice meeting you – Rick." And with one last look at him and not even so much as a glance at Jamie she was on her way.

Castle shook his head, returning his attention to his daughter who was tilting her head back to look at him with big eyes.

"Daddy's friend?" She asked.

He had to laugh, "No, she's more like a hyena." He knew Jamie didn't understand what he meant by that, but the way he said it made her chuckle.

"So Jamie what's your favorite animal?" He asked.

His little girl didn't need to consider his question for a second as she beamed up at him and in her most threatening growl said, "Mufasa."

Castle's heart skipped a beat. She liked lions. Too bad there weren't any at Central Park Zoo. He grinned, realizing Alexis wouldn't agree with him on this.

"You daddy?" She lifted expectant eyes to him, eyes that were so much like his it still took his breath away from time to time.

"Mine too," he said softly. "Daddy loves lions too."

Kate was met with laughter when she opened the door to them later in the afternoon.

"Hey," she greeted them, bracing herself against the whirlwind knocking into her legs and pulling her up into her arms. "You two had fun?"

"Yes," Jamie nodded happily. "Daddy likes lions."

"Does he?" Kate lifted her eyebrows, looking at him. Castle just shrugged, beaming like a Christmas tree. "I'm sure that makes you very happy, now doesn't it Baby Bird?"

Jamie nodded ,"Mommy likes elephants," she stated as if that was the most dreadful thing in the world and Kate didn't understand why he suddenly looked at her with something like wonder in his eyes.

"Are you staying for dinner?" Kate asked, feeling uneasy under his intense stare.

"Ah, no," he let his hand run through his hair. "Sorry, but I have to go."

Kate mentally slapped herself, of course he had to go. He wanted to talk to Alexis tonight.

"Another time then," she helped him out quickly, seeing he didn't want to disappoint Jamie, but couldn't stay either. She lifted Jamie over to him once more, "Say goodnight to your dad, Baby Bird."

"Night Daddy," Jamie slung her small arms around his neck, giving him a kiss. "Love you."

He hugged her back, squeezing his eyes shut tightly against the tears, "Goodnight Baby Bird," he mumbled, "I love you too."

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