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a Harem to die for~

guy gets fucked by a transmigrating lightning bolt ( courtesy of yours truly ) and wakes up in world famous puzzle game: helltaker, i never was good at writing synopsises, or descriptions, fucking whatever

iamapsychopath · Fantasy
Not enough ratings
10 Chs

"timeskip and the banished" part 1

It's been around three months since kichi, or taker as everyone calls him, has returned from his journey to hell with his harem of demon girls, life has been good, he didn't have to work much since his retirement from the military pays him enough to support all his girls, though most of that time he spends helping Pandemonica with her work, helping lucifer with her work, playing with Cerberus, or playing heroes three with Malina.

Currently, he was finishing up with the latest batch of pancakes, when Lucifer turned to him with her own serving, taking a bite of the chocolatey burrito of goodness and moaning in delight.

"Mmmm~ I still can't figure out how you make these so good darling~"

I smile as i wiped a bit of chocolate she got on her cheek off and put it in my mouth, eliciting a blush from her.

"I just have a lot of practice, besides you're getting better too" i say with a smile, She smiles back and gives me a loving kiss.

"Thank you darling, now go give the others their pancakes, I have my plate to finish"

I nod, grabbing the plates of pancakes on the way out of the kitchen, but before leaving, i stopped at the doorframe and looked back at Lucy, smiling at her.

"I Love you, hun"

Lucifer blushes before looking away shyly.

"I- I love you to taker"

With that sweet note, i exit the kitchen and approach modeus.

"Hey modeus, I have pancakes"

At the sound of my voice, Modeus immediately puts her book down, bookmarking the page she was at, and grabbing one of the plates in my hand, i smile as i turn around to leave.

However modeus Suddenly grabs my hand and pulls me into a kiss.

"Hah, Thanks for the pancakes~" she says lustfully as she released me, licking saliva off her lips

I lick the remains of the kiss off my lips and smile at her.

"No problem modeus, also, you wanna go on a date this Sunday?"

She fiercely blushes as she just meekly nods her head before munching on her pancakes.

I smile at her as i leave and approach Justice, and like always, she immediately notices my incoming footsteps, smiling at me and giving finger guns.

"Sup taker!"

I smile and place a plate of pancakes in her hands.

"Sup ice, me and Lucy finished the pancakes"

She smiles as she searches for the fork before i placed it in her hand.

She takes a bite, moaning a bit before turning back to you.

"Great as always, but I have a question," Justice says while looking in your direction

"Shoot," you tell her

"The girls say that the basement is locked and that you don't let anyone down there, why?"

You grin as you remember all the birthday presents you picked out for them that you hid down there, your grin only widens as you also remember all the firearms you have down there, in the end, you just kiss Justice and tell her while walking away "it's a secret, but don't worry, you'll all find out soon enough"

Justice 'looks' at me while i walk away for a second before shrugging and digging into her pancakes. Next, i approached Pandemonica, giving her, her 5:00 coffee, as well as a plate of pancakes.

She grabs the coffee from me hands silently with a smile on her face and elegantly drinks it, while she does, her horns grow larger and more curved and her eyes grow sharper, finally She removes the cup from her lips and sighs contently.

"Ahhh, the 'tired demon' no longer, thank you, as always you have surpassed my expectations and delivered my coffee on time, but feel free to mess up at least once, I've been dying to punish you~"

I chuckle and hand her her plate of pancakes, which she places on the table next to her.

"Who knows pan, maybe I can punish you~"

Pandemonica grins at me.

"Perhaps, but I guess I'll just have to stick to zdrada for now"

I smile as i turn.

"See you at 5:15 pan"

Pandemonica merely continues to drink her coffee while making a shoo motion with her hand, trying to hide her blush from me.

Now it was Malina's turn, i sat next to her and placed her plate on the table next to her, or i would have if she hadn't stopped me with what she said.

"Feed it to me"

My eyes widen as i looked at Malina who is still playing the game you showed her a few days ago, Diablo III, with a small blush on her face while she refused to look at me.

I looked at her I little longer in surprise before realizing i was taking too long, so quickly i cut out a bite-sized piece of pancake and placed it in her mouth, she quietly moaned as her blush intensified and she opens her mouth again, silently asking for another piece.

Suddenly another person joined me and Malina on the couch, it was zdrada, and she blew some smoke in my face.

"Hey, feed me pancakes too, punk"

To say i was surprised by zdradas sudden demand would be like saying the fucking sky is blue, but like everything else life has thrown my way, i shrug it off and go with the flow, with a fork in each hand, i fed both Malina and zdrada at the same time, without anything getting messy or sticky (🗿) "how?" you ask? Harem magic.

After feeding them their pancakes and teasing the living hell out of zdrada while Malina laughed at her sisters misfortune from the side, i got up from the couch, but before i could leave, zdrada grabs my collar and pulls me into a rough, smoke-and-pancake-filled kiss while malinas eyes widened in surprise, before reddening in anger as she paused her game and lunged over to tear zdrada off me.

"WHAT THE FUCK ZDRADA?! YOU TRYING TO GET YOUR ASS KICKED?!"

zdrada just smiles and blows smoke in Malina's face.

"Calm your tits malinka, this is why you never get laid HAHA" zdrada cackles, causing Malina to only get angrier.

To keep the two sisters from tearing apart each other and my house, i kissed them both and walked away, but not before leaving them one last warning.

"I'm leaving for real now, but if I find out you two fought I'm telling judgment.

They each 'tsk'ed with blushes on their faces before going back to smoking and gaming respectively.

After resolving that mess, i walked over to Azazel, who looks like she was going through major PTSD.

"Pancakes?" I offered her, hoping to distract her from whatever she's going through.

Instead of accepting immediately, she asked me a question.

"How long have I been here?"

I ponder for a second.

"About three months, why?"

Azazel looks slightly surprised

"Only three months? It feels like an eternity, the things I've seen, the things I've done, I could write paper after paper on it all, but no one would believe me, it's too surreal... s-speaking of which, would you like to join me in my research?"

I look at her worried but eventually sigh to myself

"Fine, BUT only if you promise to get a good night's sleep afterward"

Her traumatic expression immediately shifts into a happy one as she hugged me

"Ok! See you tonight!" And with that, she ran up the stairs after she grabs a plate of pancakes, of course.

You chuckled at azazels accidental innuendo before heading for the door, where judgment and Cerberus were.

"INTRUDERS SEEK TO INVADE OUR DOMAIN, SHALL I DISPOSE OF THEM?" Judgment asked waith her usual commanding tone

I shook my head as i give her a kiss on the cheek.

"It's ok Jude, I got this, you just enjoy your pancakes"

Judgment took one of the plates and shrugged.

"Ok, have fun I guess," the high prosecutor said with a blush on her face as she leaves the doorway.

finally, i turned to the three demon/wolf girls who all looked away guiltily, ears turned downwards in sync.

""" We messed up""" they all said in unison """Sorry"""

I chuckled as you pat their heads, causing them to moan in delight and wag their tails

"It's ok cerb, I'll take care of it, here, have some pancakes" i said with a final headpat, placing the final plate in the middle girls hands

"""ok! We love you master!""" They sung in unison as they skipped away... only to cause more chaos somewhere else

I smiled as i answered the door, which had been being repeatedly rung.

I open the door to see who was mad at my girls this time, only to be greeted by a woman wearing the same white and gold suit as Azazel, she looked at me nervously, leaning forward slightly.

"H-hi there, m-my name is g-gabriel, a-and I was wondering i-if you have m-met a girl named Azazel mr....?"

I shook myself out of my stupor and smiled at her.

"My name is kichi, and why are you looking for this girl? If you don't mind my asking of course"

Gabriel slightly relaxed at my easy-going attitude.

"I-im looking for her because she disappeared around four months ago and my lea- m-my boss Michael is worried about her"

So far, i saw nothing wrong with it. but i wanted to check in with Azazel first.

"I haven't seen anyone who looks like that, but my friends might have, I'll be right back," i said to the angel in disguise as she nodded enthusiastically.

walking back inside, i was quickly slammed to the wall by Lucifer, who looked at me obsessively.

"Who. Was. That. Girl." She demanded with glowing red eyes

I smiled at the dominant attitude of Lucifer and answered.

"Don't worry Lucy, it's just an angel who's looking for Azazel, her name is gabriel, I believe.

Lucifer's obsessive eyes return to normal and the red glow on her hands fades away.

"Oh, good~ just tell her Azazel isn't here then~"

I nod my head and Lucifer lets me go after stealing a kiss.

I walk back over to the door and open it again.

"Hey, I uh, asked everyone and they all said they haven't heard of her, sorry"

Gabriel looks down but shakes it off and hands you a card.

"It's okay, but if you do see her, call us with this"

You nod while taking the card.

"Will do, have a great day"

She nods and turns around.

"You too"

You walk inside and are immediately met with all your demon girls' chests bombarding your face while they check you for injuries, after about 3 minutes in titty hell they let you go, but they took the card and tore it up.

________________________________________

Im back! 1831 words as always, rate the chap outa 13, uhhhh vote I guess.

Also im gonna be blunt, this story is probably going to have a bunch of plot holes, because my uploading schedule is nonexistent, and this was my first story, which im transferring over from wattpad and editing myself, the english should be... readable... but! The plot... eugh... anyways thanks for sticking around to read this and your support is appreciated, (it gives me a massive ego boost)