Chapter 9: First Blood! Wait, does this even count?

"Get down here and fight me!"

"Shut it asswipe!"

"I'll shut up when you fight me!"

"I'm not fighting you! You dirty mutt get out of here!"

"What?! Are you too chicken to fight me!?"

"Why would I waste my time on a stray Huh? I got better shit to do!"

"Like what?"

"Like sleep. On a bed!"

"Oh, it's on now Runt!"

I leap off the hood of the car and onto the asphalt road standing right in front of a large stray dog with dirty golden-colored fur.

"Bring it!"

(-Pause-)

[Sup. I am the SSG I and bet you are wondering what brought us to this moment. Well, I can tell you that it was...Kinda craz-

We got to a hotel and I got outside after eating some raw meat Kiritsugu bought and then met a stray who is about it get its flea-ridden ass handed to it! The end!

[Do you take enjoyment in ruining the only fun I can have here?]

Yes. Yes I do.

[I hope that thing kills you.]

(-Resume-)

"I'll thrash you around like I did your mother you dumb pup"

"Ha! My mothers' dead idiot!"

"And that's funny how?"

"Because I can just have your mother take care of me instead."

"ILL KILL YOU!!" The big golden god gets pissed off at my proclamation and charges at me while baring its fangs ready to sink its teeth into my flesh and rip me to shreds.

But oh! What's this? I am a fucking heroic spirit who can run at 30MPH and crush a rock into dust with a paw? What's this? A sneeze from me can turn him into mincemeat? What's this? He doesn't stand a chance in hell? What's this? I fucked up and now he has me by the nape?

...Shit.

"HAHAHAhAH DUMB RUNT I GOT YOU!!!"

"LET ME GO YOU PISS COLORED DICKHEAD!!!"

He starts thrashing me around the air violently. It's not doing any damage to my health and doesn't hurt as his teeth can't penetrate my fur but it is nauseating and I'm starting to get sick to my stomach.

[You know you deserve this for being an overconfident prick right?]

Shut it!

*Grumble*

Oh fuck, I'm gonna hurl.

"WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL THAT BIG TALK HUH RUNT? WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL THAT CONFIDENCE?!" He yells out both extremely happy and kinda mad while continuing to fling me around like a ragdoll, this doing absolute wonders for my stomach and speeding up the process.

[You good bro?]

I'm hurling.

"I'M GONNA EAT YOU!!!"

You're what?!

[HE'S WHAT?!]

He flings me upward and opens his mouth to try and swallow me hole in one big gulp. Fuck he wasn't kidding. I try to flail around and move out of the way but the stomach pain gets to be too much and I'm forced to hold still as I plummet down into the literal jaws of death.

[Is this seriously our game over!? Eaten by a stray dog!? What the fuck is this?!]

Right before I can fall into his mouth the motion gets to be too much and I hurl up my entire lunch right into his open mouth. A big glob of dog food enters his jaws and gets stuck in his throat causing him to thrash around, meaning I land on the ground safe from harm.

I feel better. The fall didn't hurt as much as I thought it would and the pain in my stomach is now fine, so I'm back at 100% And ready to kick some ass!

[...What the fuck am I watching?]

Well, it seems to be a stray dog choking on my throw-up. Damn, that's kinda nasty.

[I...I...I just can't anymore.]

The Dog rises on his hind legs and its eyes roll into the back of its head as it falls onto its back dead on the ground.

Fatality?

[Fuck you.]

A glowing...Thing, rises out of the corpse of the Dog spinning and shining in the sunlight and then flies at me, melding into my body before I can even move.

[You have gained 1 Crystal code!]

Crystal code? What is that exactly? I saw that I nabbed some during the Gacha but I have no clue as to what they do, or what purpose they serve.

[You know those Upgrade items in GACHA games?]

Yeah.

[It's like that.]

Cool, So what can I upgrade?

[Are you seriously this dumb? Fuck else is there to upgrade? Your stats obviously.]

Oh...Right.

[God I heaven kill me now.]

Yo God if you're listening to requests now, I would like-

[Shut up and get to upgrading idiot.]

Wait I can already upgrade my stats?

[What would you like to upgrade? Please select from the following]

[Vitality: E] +?

[Strength: E] +?

[Agility: E] +?

[Endurance: E] +?

[Mana: E] +?

[Luck: EX ] Cannot be upgraded

I see, I see.

Hmm. Hmm.

Very interesting.

Very interesting indeed.

From my observations about the last encounter with that dreaded mutt, I conclude that I would most likely need to increase my own-

[Can you just pick one instead of doing...All this?]

Fine, I pick Agility.

[You have used 5 Crystal codes! Agility has risen from E to E+]

[For upgrading your stats for the first time you have gained a Gacha ticket!]

Nice. When the message read I could feel my body growing stronger, mostly the legs, but nonetheless, I could feel it gaining a shit ton of power. I bet I could surpass my limit of 30MPH and go at least 35 or 40 or something.

[It's 90 actually.]

Dafuq? Why so high?

[Because we are not staying in this world forever, and if you only had Fate servant stats while we travel the infinite reality chain then you would die when we enter some of the higher tier worlds.]

Hmm, that makes a lot of sense.

But still. A 3x increase? And all from one upgrade.

[It's weird though.]

What?

[I half expected you to pick strength or endurance like an idiot.]

Yeah, well I have my junctures.

[*Sigh* I'm not even going to bother.]

Good, because I'm not changing it.

-TO BE CONTINUED