8th July

I had a dream.

I stood there, under the orange glow of the soft sunlight in the distance. The clouds above me were stained an orange, the wind blew against me gently, ruffling my hair. I stood there, facing the sunset, or was it the sunrise? I was unsure, but the view was beautiful. I looked around me, it was an unfamiliar place. Where was I?

Behind me was a green metal door that had the pain scratched away. The ground below me was cracked and unsafe. At several places, I noticed a few patches of red, thinking positively, it was most likely red paint, yep, red pain, nothing else. Around the area, were fences, green fences that were built to twice my own height. I looked past it, where the small view of landscape could be seen, the town. Lights were turning on, people roamed the streets oh so far away as I stood in place.

Where was I?

'Hey!'

I had heard, or at least, assumed to have heard a voice of a girl. I looked in front of me, seeing a girl. How I had not noticed her, I did not know. She stood there, her hands behind her back. She was shorter than me and wore what I assumed to be a jacket, a white shirt underneath. The jacket was black in colour and really seemed to look good on her.

She was stunningly breathtaking, blonde hair tied into a ponytail, her hairband black. She stood there, her pale skin seemingly reflecting the orange light of the sunset. She had a cheeky smile on her face, her blue eyes twinkling slightly, as if reflecting my own image. She radiated beauty and perfection, I took a step back.

Who was she? Had we met before?

I looked back, but the door seemed infinitely far away. The girl stood there, the sunset behind her. I faced her once again, afraid that I would be unable to take my eyes off her, I looked down at the ground. Who was she? She was so beautiful, did I have the right to be around her?

My heart was beating fast, I hardly ever had a girl try and talk to me before, there was no way someone like her would take notice of me. She reached out, and I noticed that her nails were painted light pink. I felt her hands on my face. The warmth was unnatural for me, her fingers holding my face ever so gently. She lifted my head up, I did not try to resist, why would I?

She brought my face to look at her own, her smile and expression almost smug, the twinkle in her eyes not leaving.

Behind her, the sunset.

In front of her, me.

The sunset cast an orange glow on her, leaving me in her shadow. Another breeze blew by, her hair waving in the wind. She did not seem the least bit bothered as she let her right hand go of my face. She reached above me and picked up something. She showed me the dried leaf she had picked up and laughed, tossing it into the wind. I saw as the leaf flew away, turning and twisting in the wind before disappearing out of sight. She turned my head back towards her once again. Her eyes still twinkled, but she crossed her arms and pouted as she looked at me. It lasted for a few seconds before she stopped it and laughed at my flushed expression.

It was oddly silent, the wind, her laughs, even her voice. All of it was silent, was I deaf? But I was sure I heard her not too long ago. I wanted to ask her name, find out who she was, anything at all, I wanted to know more about her.

I looked at her, the sunset behind her, I started shirking. She looked divine. What rights did I, a less than average person, have to casually talk to her? Before her, I was but a mere rat before god. We lived in different worlds, there was no chance for the two of us to mix, not at all. We were that incompatible.

She reached out and grabbed my hand, holding mine with both of hers. She was looking at my hand, her face was lowered, so I was unable to fully look at her face. She had a pleasant smile on her face that seemed ever so close to breaking apart. A weak and forced smile. Why was she forcing herself? What was she forcing herself to do? Was it to be around me?

She looked at me, a smile on her face, her eyes closed as she smiled. At first sight, it looked like any other smile, happy and maybe even a little cheeky. However, I saw it. On her face, like a stream had appeared on her cheeks, the orange sunlight being reflected off it. From the corner of her eyes, a single drop fell from her left eye before more followed. She let go of my hand, covering her face. She turned away, furiously trying to wipe the tears off.

I wanted to reach out, ask her what was wrong. If I made her uncomfortable, then I will leave. I reached out, hesitating, if I truly was the problem, then my assistance would not mean anything to her at all. I retracted my hand an inch before reaching out, holding her shoulder lightly. She turned around, looking at me.

She was beautiful before, but even after letting loose her tears, she seemed even more beautiful to me. At first, she seemed something like a god, but after seeing her tears, it made me realise that she was indeed human, and had human emotions. I looked at her, she looked back. Tears flowed from her eyes, her face and cheeks wet, even her hands were wet.

I stared at her, not sure what I was supposed to do from where I was. I tried to say something, but the words got caught in my throat, I could not muster the courage to speak, ask her about her pains. I let go of her shoulder, awkwardly stepping back, scratching the back of my head. What was I doing?

She rubbed her eyes and took a step towards me, wrapping her arms under mine, hugging me close. It was the first time I was hugged by a girl my age, I wasn't sure how to react. I started panicking, having never in my life expected a girl like her to hug me.

I could feel her body shake as she squeezed me. She was trembling, obviously afraid of something. But what could it be? I could feel my chest feeling warmth, whether it was from her tears or from my increased heart rate, I was unsure.

She did not look up.

'Don't leave me…'

What was she saying? My mind raced, just what was I to the girl? I doubted I was her boyfriend, maybe I was her future father? No, that can't be right. Being her boyfriend sounded absurd, that I could get in a relationship with such a beautiful girl.

I could hear and physically hear the heartbreak from her words. She seemed sad, very sad. How did she go from such a happy person to someone of such suffering? Was the happiness just a facade? Or was the misery I saw before me the act? I did not know.

Huh, how strange…

She squeezed me harder as if trying to squeeze the life out of me. I just stood there, not sure how to act. I heard her say something, feeling the vibrations in my chest.

'Don't go. Go with me instead, on the Thirty-First of July, go with me.'

She looked up, her blue eyes staring into my soul, her sadness seemingly piercing through me.

Let's be together, forever.

My eyes flew open.

I stared at my window, where there was a faint moonlight that came from it. I checked the side of my bed, my alarm clock had not gone off yet, so why had I woken up? In fact, I felt quite tired for someone who was supposed to be refreshed from waking up from sleep. I stared at the ceiling of my room, the darkness seeming odd. Rather, the entire atmosphere seemed odd, it did not feel like a regular morning at all.

I threw my blanket off of me and stood on my feet, my bare feet feeling the barely cold floor. I walked towards the window and pulled the curtains away, looking outside. It was not as busy as I expected. Normally in the early hours, the buses and cars would have already started to operate, and the roads would be filled to the best with vehicles. However, as I looked, there were still cars and buses, just not as many as usual. I looked further out, the moon was high in the sky, which was weird for the morning.

I turned around and looked at my clock, the red numbers glowing in the dark.

11:03

That time in the morning should not have looked like how I had just seen. Something was wrong, very wrong. Eleven, it was dark.

It clicked. My body was heavily fatigued despite having just woken up. My body felt like I was lifting lead, it hurt to walk, and it was difficult to move. I barely had much energy left, what was going on? I recognised it, I think.

A sickness I once had as a child, around four years ago. It was a sickness that made me rapidly lose my energy. I would sleep for the whole day and not recognise it, and I barely had the energy to even eat. Something was wrong with me, and I feared it was that sickness, back to haunt me once again. I sat down on my bed, hard. My parents should have noticed by now, I guess they assumed I overslept and wasn't able to wake me up. My mind started to go wild, my head hurt.

Huh, doesn't it feel oddly hot in the room?

I flapped my shirt in an attempt to cool my body down. My lips were dry, and my stomach cramped. I felt it before, years ago, the very same sickness. I could not shout, I no longer had the strength to even stand on my own. My eyelids got heavy, I forced them to stay open, even if for a moment longer.

Why? Why me?

I had school, I had a friend, I had my family. I found a person I could call a friend, I found a girl that would actually talk to me. I found a table partner I was mildly interested in…

The girl beside me… How had I forgotten about her the past couple of days? I had been so focused on other things that I had failed to notice her divine presence. Hold on… I remember her face clearly, I remember every moment I had seen of her, but what exactly was her name? In fact, what were the names of Red and Pink? As a more concerning topic, what were the names of my parents? I had been referring to them as mother and father, what were their given name?

I tried not to think too much about it, my head feeling like it was about to split. This was bad, very bad.

I just missed a day of school, I missed a day where I could be with the person I call a friend, maybe I could have more chances to speak with the girl on my left. But no, of all the people in the world, I had the worst luck, and just had to fall sick once again, just two weeks after being discharged.

I could not move my body.

My heart raced.

Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep.

No, no, no, no, please no. I have so much to do, I can't just get sick again and lose all the precious school days I have. Why if all people did it have to be me? Why did I have to be born so weak? Why me? Why not the other people in the world?

I don't want to go back to sleep, please, I have so much to do. I want to hang out with Red again, I want to ask Pink questions. I want to go shopping with my family, my whole family next time. I want to, I want to confess my feelings to the girl that sat on my left!

My eyes closed.

In my mind, my heart slowed down.

Beep… Beep… Beep…

I…

What could I do?

There's nothing I can do.

None at all.

Beep… Beep… Beep…