11th July

I had a dream.

I was standing there, looking down. The sky was cloudy, dark and ominous. There was not a single speck of sun to be seen as I looked down. Beneath my feet, was grass, trampled and wet. Overgrown grass grew everywhere, poorly trimmed and managed. I felt little drops on my head, against my shoulder. Like spears stabbing into me as the cold seeped in. My clothes felt heavy, wet strands of my hair covering my sight. I did not bother, for the scene in front of me made me think of nothing else.

My clothes were wet and heavy, the feeling of the cold stinging my arms and legs, causing the hairs on my arms to Rose, and goosebumps to form. With every breath, the mist was produced even though it wasn't Winter. I could hear my own breathing, feel my chest rise and fall.

It was dead silent.

In front of me, a girl was there. She knelt on the ground, her knees touching the ground, her toes behind her. She faced away from me, at the same thing I was looking at. I changed my sight to look at the girl briefly. She had blonde hair tied into a short ponytail, but the ends of the ponytail seemed to have been touched with ink, the ends of her hair being black. She wore black clothes, which was understandable given the scenario.

In front of her, was a stone, not just any stone, it was what I assumed to be a tombstone. A simple tombstone, rectangular, about half my height. There should have been a picture at the base along with any tributes, but the girl blocked my view. Words were engraved onto the tombstone, words too messy and too rough for me to read at the distance I was standing. All around us, was grass, except for the place where the girl knelt, where stone was beneath. It seemed to be the sole tombstone in a field, and no others to be found. I stared silently and respectfully, not speaking a word, not moving an inch.

The girl had her hands clasped together, her fingers intertwined as she lowered her head. She was praying to the tombstone. The question I had was who's tombstone could it belong to? I did not know and was unsure if I wanted to know.

The girl shifted, and I watched as she shivered in the cold rain. Drop by drop, we were soaked, and drop by drop, tears fell.

It was a rainy day.

What was I supposed to do? I didn't know her, I didn't know what I was supposed to do. I could only stand there in silence. I doubted she even knew I was there, why would she? To her, I was probably just another outsider, I was not needed and unnecessary. I was just there, nothing else.

I stared at the tombstone, who died? A tombstone would logically mean that someone had died, right?

I looked around me, trying to find out anything beyond the field if there was something or someone else out there. I looked and strained my eyes, whether it was because of the fog or whether it was because of the weather, I could not see past the field. I was there, isolated with the girl, seemingly isolated, in a cold place with no one else or nowhere else.

The girl did not stop crying. Was I supposed to comfort her? But I felt that I had no rights, right? It was not like we were in a relationship, or even siblings, we were just there coincidentally.

I stood awkwardly, the dead silence of the place sending chills down my spine. Eventually, she stopped, and she stood. It was as if the world was holding its breath, or it was probably just me. She stood there, hands by her side, and suddenly, without warning, she hit the tombstone. To be more precise, she kicked the tombstone. I watched with a mix of awe and bewilderment. She had just kicked down the tombstone which she was crying in front of.

The stone slab fell and shattered into nothing but dust on the ground. Was rock supposed to shatter that way? I did not know, but I watched the girl's back. I could see the gradual rise and fall of her shoulders as she looked down at the dust that swirled in the wind before disappearing out of sight. She stepped back, towards me, and I saw her shoulders turn.

My eyes flew open.

I laid down on the hospital bed, trying to make sense of what exactly I had just seen in my dreams. In fact, the drama itself was already fading, I could barely remember anything from it. The more I tried to remember, the more the dream seemed to get further. I was breathing hard, what exactly did I just dream about again?

I remember being shocked, but I had forgotten what shocked me, or what led up to that shock. Only the vague sense of shock left in my body. I calmed down, keeping my thoughts on track. If I forgot about it, it was probably not that important after all. I took a deep breath and tried to look around.

I no longer feel as tired as I previously did. In fact, I never felt more energetic. I moved my leg, I could lift it. I tried to move my right arm, I could lift it. I put my right arm under me and pushed myself higher up the bed before sitting up. I looked at my hand, I could feel it, and I could move it freely. How many days has it been? I closed my hand by bringing each finger slowly towards my palm. I could move, and I no longer felt that extreme exhaustion I previously felt. I looked around, feeling something swelling inside my chest. What time was it? In fact, what day was it? I wanted to know. I wanted to be discharged already.

I looked to my left, wondering, what if it was the middle of the night? What if my parents had already gone home and were sleeping? I tried to think, but in the end, I saw someone.

My father walked in, turning the corner while looking down. He seemed down, his eyes were darting around as if thinking about something. He seemed to be troubled. His steps were evenly paced, normal, but his hands were fidgeting. He looked towards the ground and was looking everywhere. He walked into the place I was in, and he looked at me. Our eyes met, and the worry on my father's face melted away. He walked quickly up to me and hugged me tightly.

It was awkward, he was hugging me while I sat, but I had no arguments with it. I accepted his embrace with an embrace of my own. He never gave up on me, and I never let him down. I seem to have recovered from my sickness, at least, I think so. My father put me at arm's length and looked me in the eyes, his eyes seemingly tearing up. He did not bother to hide it, he smiled and asked me, "How are you feeling?"

"Good." I replied, staring at his expression. "Never felt better."

He nodded and took a seat to my right, where he always sat. My father was still in his work clothes, and he seemed to have been in a rush, his clothes and hair messy. He was always a classy man, it was odd seeing him like that. He seemed so happy, he was relieved. One look and I knew, that relief did not come from any monetary bullshit, but from his heart. My parents really loved me, I loved them too, why did I ever doubt them for a second?

"Let's have a party." My father said, smiling widely. "I got a day off tomorrow, so why don't we go out? Just you and I?"

"What about mother?" I asked.

His eyes darted to the side, the spark of joy in his eyes died for a single moment. I noticed it, but he returned to normal. He rubbed my head and told me, half-heartedly laughing, "Your mother has to work tomorrow, you know."

"Oh yeah…" I muttered. "What day is today?"

"It's Friday." My father told me.

"Oh… okay..." I said.

He rubbed a tear out of his eyes before he asked me, "Anywhere you want to go tomorrow? Anything you want to do? Surely you wouldn't want to be stuck at home any longer, right?"

My father was acting weirdly. He was a calm and collected person who knows what to do and when. I saw him as someone I could always rely on, and if he were to leave, I would crumble. For the longest time, and even up to today, he had been keeping the family together with my mother. But today, the changes in expression, and the excitement he portrayed. I may very well just be paranoid, but something must have happened. My father was going through something, and I was unable to help for I had no idea.

"Can we go to the park…?" I asked hesitantly. "I would like some sunlight."

"Of course! Of course we can." My father nodded. "Do you want to go jogging? Or just a walk?"

"A walk will do."

"Okay, good, we can go for a small walk tomorrow." My father said. "So for now, why don't we go have dinner after getting you discharged?"

"Okay."

A nurse was called over, some stuff happened, I could honestly not remember that clearly. The next thing I knew, I was at the front of the hospital, in casual clothes as my father and I faced the night streets. Streaks of light, yellow and red, flashed past the road as we walked along with it.

The night air was chilly, which was unusual, wasn't it supposed to be summer? The sounds of the cars and others slowly faded into the background as I walked. I walked beside my father, who looked in front of him. I looked up at him, his black eyes reflecting the lights of the streets. He was not speaking, but it felt like we were communicating. I looked forward, continuing to walk, my legs shaky with each step. I could still feel the throbbing pain of the needle that was stabbed into my left arm.

We eventually stopped in front of a store. It was a pretty middle of nowhere kind of store. I looked in, whether it was because of bad business or just the fact that it was late, there was no one inside. My father led me inside, I followed him.

The design was pretty normal. A wooden table covered with a cheap plastic tablecloth. The tablecloth was red and white checkered. The chairs were red plastic, it felt flimsy, but was surprisingly durable. I walked in after my father, looking at the counter we walked by. There was no one there, no one was at the counter. I saw one of those lucky cat things where there was a fat cat, the right arm of the cat bobbing up and down as if waving at us. There was also a glass orb on the table, a brown pedestal under it. Looking over the counter, there was a cash register, along with what I assumed to be a small television. On the wall behind the counter, there was a banner with the words 'we welcome you'.

I continued walking towards the nearest seats with my father. I sat down, my father sitting down across from me on the table that was not too big. He looked around, obviously trying to find anyone we could order food from. I had a feeling they were closed, but did not say a word of it.

My father eventually stood and walked towards the door at the back, where the kitchen was supposed to be. I waited for him, wondering whether he was mad.

If they were closed for the night, we could go to the nearest convenience store and purchase some food. That was fine with me, it didn't have to be a diner.

I sat and waited, just waited, playing with my fingers.

I heard something behind me, where the entrance of the diner was. I turned around, seeing someone look at me in shock. There was a guy? Girl? I think it was a girl. The girl looked at me, as if I had just popped out of a book. I looked at her, also not sure what she was doing. She wore a plain shirt with the words 'wealth' written in gold on it. She wore a pair of ripped jeans and held a few plastic bags in her hands. However, what drew my attention to her the most was her hair colour and eyes. Her hair was not just blonde, it was a shockingly dark yellow. Her eyes as well, yellow, a deep yellow, so bright as if I was looking at the sun itself. The girl looked at the counter, her shocked expression not leaving her face. Her hair was short, around my hair's length, which had caused the initial confusion regarding her gender.

She walked up to me.

She slammed the table, startling me. I looked at her, she seemed to be glaring at me. She placed the plastic bags on the table and asked me, "What are you doing here?"

How was I supposed to answer such a question? Who was she? I was just following my father to have some dinner, I didn't expect to be assaulted by a girl I didn't know.

"Um… to have dinner?" I replied, hesitantly.

"You do realise we're closed for the night, right?" She asked.

"I… don't…?"

She sighed and looked at the door my father went through. He had brought me here. I looked at the girl, she did not seem much older than me, but she definitely felt older than me. She messed her hair up and sighed again before walking to the door.

"What's the old man doing again?" I heard her whisper to herself.

She went through the door.

My father walked out not long after, sighing. He went up to me and said, "Let's go to a convenience store."

"Were we not going to have dinner?" I asked, confused.

"No." My father said to me. "I was just visiting the owner of this place. Let's go."

I followed him out, and we continued walking.

We went over to a convenience store. On the way, I kept thinking about the girl I saw. She had a very distinct yellow colour. For whatever reason, I did not know. Besides, what was my father doing at the store anyway?

We bought some stuff at the convenience store, chatting up a conversation that I had already forgotten.

I laid down on my bed, my very own bed. I stared at the ceiling, a sight I had missed for so long. I felt oddly energetic and did not really feel like sleeping in the slightest. I laid there, blanket over me as I tried to think, giving up on thinking not too long later.

The main point was that I was back. I was healthy again, at least, for now. I could go to school after the weekends. I laid there excitedly. Just what would Red and I talk about? It was going to be exciting. Maybe I could chat with the girl on my left if given the chance. I laid there, feeling rather happy. Yeah, my life was just starting, I had much to do. And to start with that, I was going for a walk with my father tomorrow.

Beep… Beep… Beep…

My heartbeat, since leaving the hospital, I think it had calmed down somewhat. The noise still stuck with me after so long, I had already come to accept it. It was as calming as ever, really, it calmed me down.

Beep… Beep… Beep…