Way, wag too much telling, and not enough showing.
For instance you said the z fighters introduced themselves, vs actually writing the introductions.
The difference between telling vs showing is like a Summary vs a scene.
You need to write the scene, not a
Summary of what happened during the scene.
I enjoyed this first chapter a lot. Definitely something I would do as well. Go to Kami immediately and show him the full scope oft what I know about the DBM
