Comments of chapter undefined of The mind breaker
The mind breaker
sluttyprincess
Chapter comments3
Hmm...well, the chaps are a bit short, and they seem more like a diary than an engaging story.There should be more dialogue between the characters, and it wouldn't be bad for MC to be more complex than an abusive kid who treats everyone like trash.Since the abuse he suffered was not detailed and shown, it's hard for people to feel hatred and dislike towards the women.. Sometimes they even feel pitiful.
do keep in mind that the mc need to feel human as well, right now he feels more of a machine than anything, give him a few weaknesses and some mental health problems that would not only keep him grounded but more relatable, and please more pov on the girls thoughts, they feel soulless if you give some pov time to them and their inner thoughts,