LotusLin
I'm going to praise your writing style; it's very pleasant and easy to read. However, there are two aspects that I believe could be hindering your success. Firstly, the synopsis is too lengthy, to the point that it could easily constitute an entire chapter of a novel. I would recommend shortening it to one or two paragraphs that highlight the most interesting aspects of the story. Secondly, the chapters are too long. It would also be advisable to divide them to make them more manageable. If you address these two issues, you'll have the skies in your hands.