Comments of chapter undefined of Lannister's Sin of Pride
Lannister's Sin of Pride
Cedric_7512
Chapter comments47
I'll be honest, there are 3 shortcomings in your POV writing. 1. As you have mentioned, it slows down the story. 2. POVs like this one, becomes like a recap with some extra information. 3. In these POVs, I find that all characters are dumb down versions of their original counterpart. I am not trying to discourage you. I like this story so far, and I hope that you can improve these POVs a little. At least make their thinking process more complex like adults. Another thing that bothers me so much, is that in Taiwan's POVs, he never expressed his pride or surprise, that his son, is WAY TOO intelligent and strong from his age. I mean atleast he should be filled with pride that his own blood is so strong and intelligent at such a young age. Instead you casually mentioned it in his POVs like it's no big deal.
