Comments of chapter undefined of Re-Life In A Novel

okay...the chapter was good. However, I have read a lot of books on this platform. Some of them are written by native Speakers of English and most are by non-natives. What are the differences? Non-natives, including me, tend to weigh their language with metaphors as if they are trying to create a piece of art like classic English literature in every single line. Believe me, it hampers the organic flow of the story so much! Readers' brains busy themselves in deciphering the metaphor and then putting it into perspective and by then their brains become too tired to follow the story. I loved the flow so far but writing in a natural language would be better. Easy to understand. I have learned my lessons the hard way and am re-editing my books. I hope my experience will help you too.