Comments of chapter undefined of DC :Vampire Queen

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humor some criticism from me here but, when are you going to start seriously writing rather than narrating everything, like find a good pace where you list julis thoughts and interactions and then switch to this narration for action dialog instead of everything being narration, ex'I have to dodge this!' Juli thought as she saw the Billy club come towards her head on seemingly slow motion, she quickly dodged it by a left sidestep on instinct and bashed the bad guys skull with a quick Haymaker from her new position at his side. "TAKE THAT!" She said.