TheRamenLord
Also another thing I forgot to mention, this is the extra chapter that was promised last week. I was busy watching Zom 100 and and re watching the Loki season 1 so yeah I was busy 🗿 Hope you liked the chapter, next chapter will be posted tomorrow. I hope you have a beautiful day 😁👍
Too much telling and not kenough showing in the interaction between Sofia and Marc here. There are like only 4-5 dialogues we see here.You don't need to make everything into dialogue, like Sofia's backstory could stay as it is as a narration for example, but the it's too few, which is jarring since you actually wrote a song lyrics in contrast.