Comments of chapter undefined of Conqueror of the omniverse

I'm not gonna lie the idea is there, but the character dialog sucks. Hawkgirl asks like she has a stick up her rum. While Batman says some uncharacteristic things and speaks a little to much. The flow is constantly being thrown off by changes made later that have no warning or description. overall I would say you should keep writing but also get someone to temp read it fore to find mistakes.