Comments of chapter undefined of Pokemon: Team Rocket's Uprising
Pokemon: Team Rocket's Uprising
Halvoc
Chapter comments3
So, as an Aura Guardian, he still stole an egg from its parents and their mega stone. So, at 5 years old, the parents created and furnished the secret cave and even made a magical thing for it to only open for their kind through blood. So, Nidoking, which had never seen his child, knew instantly it was from it, then grew human-like father instincts all over, but only half the time. Really, when you introduce something, stick to it, in terms of characters. And try to make it more consistent ? Children get their first pokemon at 10, 5 is there only cause of dire world circumstances and his father was the very best at 5 ? And what's that super secret OP cave they made from scratch at 5?... Both the background and the present characters could use a revision. Now, sorry if I am coming off as strong opinionated, it just feels like a wuxia all over, and this genre kinda irks me. You still did nicely since you are writing and, MC's hypocrisy apart, it's consistent with itself even with the faults within. Take this comment more as a critic to try and better your writing, if you are interested in this endeavor ? Else just ignore.
Thanks for the feedback! :D This is my first novel and first time actually trying to write anything so any feedback is greatly appreciated. This is still only 28 chapters in and the characters will become more flushed out as the story progresses. As for the secret cave and how two seemingly helpless children were able to create it will be further discussed in later chapters. As for the hypocrisy, Jax is still only a child in this world. Even in his old world, he was a sickly child confined to a bed most of his life so from my perspective as the author, I figured he wouldn't have much life experiences. Yes, he will do certain actions that might not seem to fit his character but at age 5, does anyone really know what their character is? He's still discovering himself and I hope you, as the reader will stay long enough for him to as well. In my future chapters, I will try my best to flush him out and make sure his actions dont stray too far from what I have set in store for him.