Comments of chapter undefined of Naruto: Shimura's Heir

Ok, um... MASSIVE first mistake that is often made by amateur writers. You wrote your secondary characters in the 1st person. However, the 1st person is reserved for the MC of your story. All other characters must be written from an external point of view for consistency. There are two reasons for this: the 1st person has the unfortunate effect of flattening a character's personality. For example, for Danzo's POV, you wouldn't have given any clear external clues, I would never have known it was him because it didn't look like it was him at all. None of his internal features stand out in your writing. In the third person, you could have put a lot of behavioral details that would have allowed us to identify him easly. For the MC, it's not impactful because an MC in a fanfic is often an OC and OCs are created internally. The second problem is that the 1st person tends to immediately "categorize" a character as an MC. Thus, it's as if your story suddenly has several MCs. And it's really confusing for the readers. My advice: switch all secondary POVs to third person.