Comments of chapter undefined of Skyrim: The Snow Prince (an Elder Scrolls Fanfic)
Skyrim: The Snow Prince (an Elder Scrolls Fanfic)
Knight_Riku
Chapter comments10
heavenlyundeadLv15heavenlyundead
dude, biggest problem with your stories is continuity and it being a jumbled mess. first 2 paragraphs was about a chase thing from a robbery then add the end of the sentence it says saif child which has no proper meaning. then next one abruptly talks about figuring out his name then about his familial statues then back to the chase thing. like atleast add something like "while i was running i remembered the fact i was called saif by the woman who i think is my mother in my dreams" still feels like the character has adhd but atleast it doesn't feel like both the narrator and character have adhd.
