Comments of chapter undefined of Harry Potter SI

You need to make the characters more human. They act like robots. also, using ‘i said’ only doesn’t work. you need to write the emotions too. is the whole reason why we use dialog labels. My last thing is that people just accept everything he said when they don’t have a reson and that’ why your characters look like they don’t have emotions. Sirius should have been more adamant about Kreacher breakfast or about Harry leaving to Digon Alley. Hermione should have a fight or at least show some emotions after being treated like that by Harry the same with Molly. And if Harry is going to act like that then you should give us a reason why. Write the thoughts of him, because a of right now he is just acting like a spoiled brat. Idk, the whole chapter feel like it was a chore for you and you don’t actually like to write. Or maybe (hopefully) you just lack writing knowledge, and if is that, there are a lot of good video tutorials for free out there.

good chapter, although I want the Mc to have a love interest like hermione, it seems impossible, since the mc behaves like a grumpy 80-year-old old man, the typical old man who designed do not touch my grass, since he was very rude to hermione I understand it from Ron, but Hermione, a girl who just wanted to know how I was doing, is not a gentleman, especially manners.

mc x hermione and luna

so did he si into harry or did Harry just get memories also please k8ck tge 2 others to the curb. buzz head is a real piece of work and needs to eat an AK and the red head and half his family are pos 💩.