Comments of chapter undefined of My Wife is the Asura Empress
My Wife is the Asura Empress
thewhitesnow
Chapter comments17
aonly9470Lv2aonly9470
I see the potential so far. but as someone who hasn't reached when the story "gets good" the introductory chapters need a bit of a rewrite.
aonly9470Lv2aonly9470
rewrite the dialogues. an example in the first discussion with Rio and the emperor, the internal dialogue is a harsh halt to deliver exposition or characters opinion that can be naturally explained later. the prophecy discussions are a good example. it can be a good way to connect with Rio's wariness that he only tries to solve the mystery when he is alone with the one who vowed to support him.
thewhitesnow:proofread, Grammer, or the dialogues and other stuff ? I have rewrote first three to fix grammar but didn't change dialogues...
