CetusWritings
I was confused until I saw you were going for the narrator style, I really like the premise, extremely so, I entirely want this to succeed, my biggest problem is that even if it is narrator pov the entire chapter was telling us what was happening not showing us, its like instead of reading a story ourselves we are just hearing about it from someone else that read it, we aren't actually getting anything from it but info dumps and its not interesting because we aren't to get any expression from the content, its just information of what a character does. Maybe everything I said is wrong and im just not appreciating it properly, I only wish to leave this here because I really like the concept, and it can be totally ignored, I will continue reading and this turns out the best :)