Comments of chapter undefined of Genshin Impact: Icy Path
Genshin Impact: Icy Path
picaco
Chapter comments11
Nothing personal to the author but I feel that the quality is going down with every chapter I read. Everything is basically canon storyline with the addition of one character whose existence is basically not necessary barring the forced relationships he's been put in with random girls. There is no consistent setting to the MC too. Randomly friendly and feeling bad and randomly saying he's cold and ruthless and is just using them. The so called master who was very dear to him, the only thing he did was watch him die and complain. But for a random girl who he only wanted relationship with cause she had use, he was feeling sad. This is not a review of the fanfic by any means but my personal statements in their entirety so don't judge it simply based on stuff written here. I just wanted to pass on my message to the author and nothing else.
Thanks for the postive take to the comment. The most I could say is that try to mention what you said in the chapters itself since the reader really can't get any ideas if you don't. My entire response was based on the stuff that is mentioned, I've also thought about the difference in ages and maybe more compassionate because of his sister or his past but as a reader I can't figure it out without it being known to me. And yeah the relationships should have really been kept out as a whole. Maybe you don't feel much because you're thinking and writing as you go on but my advice is to read from the start again from the readers view. You'll simply find that there are suddenly a lot of inconsistencies with what's been said and what's happening. And the sudden relationship happens so fast that's it's more cringe overall, that's considering his mental age too. And you aren't bad by any means, just the fact that you could even try a take with snezhnaya as a start rather than mondstadt atleast puts your idea as more unique. And as for the story itself no one is good at the start, if you still like doing it later you'll keep on getting better at this too. This simply requires a lot of experience to get better at.
picaco:I'm with you. First of all, I know that I am a bad writer and I lack in a lot of aspects These lasts chapters is me trying to quickly go over this volume, causing the relationships to seem forced as there's no really time explained. I almost even post then without reading them. I could have make more stories try to profund those relationships but overall the novel wouldn't have aported anything and would be I hassle for me. And about this volume, with the previous two, I consider them as the introduction, an important presentation for thw future, first for his return to Inazuma and even for later. I tried to fully use canon, using stories that are stated in the game but not truly explained, trying to show that Allen is too weak for creating truly big changes. In the next volumes, I'll try to leave canon a little, changing it a little in Mondstadt and further destroying it later. In the end, the game haven't finished yet, and I already thought about the end of my novel. About the girls, I suppose that he ia weak against young children and he tried to stop Tomoki but as when he arrived the duel has ended and the Divine Punishment was a truth, he couldn't have done anything to stop, not risking uselessly. He jumped to save Kazuha for his master, to force out that anger of not being able to do nothing for him, and all of it because the Shogun didn't move against him, if the Shogun had tried, he would have silently left. Thanks for the comment, I appreciated it very much anything that let me improve or some ideas.
