Comments of chapter undefined of In This Corner Of The Multiverse
In This Corner Of The Multiverse
GoldFinger
Chapter comments34
I think you handled the story and with the MC love and sacrifice well honestly. But I think you could do with some reaction of their son to Offee death it would make it better. Another thing which world would he go to next after he finishes with his third one? Also, this is just an idea if you want to use it or not but after the MC goes through his third world how about sending him through other ones for minor power upgrades like for example in Ben 10 world where the MC can steal the Vox Peniculus. The Vox Peniculus is a power absorption device and uses it on Ben while his Upgrade to get the abilities of a Galvanic Mechamorph for more use in technology upgrades and control with regeneration as well as surviving in space as a bonus. But it's just an idea that you can use it or not it's your story.
I go with my honest opinion that the mc is very emotionally confused at one point he was a "sociopath" and then he becomes an antihero and currently maybe he goes back to sociopath again and then there's a romance that looks a bit like forced, I don't know what to expect from this job. for the worm universe try to explain at least the least of the world if possible after all I've never seen this worm and other readers too
I think if character growth was the goal for the MC, he actually got more of it from keeping Offee alive. He matured and mellowed out with her. He was already becoming a detached sociopath. With her around he actually started becoming more a person. Course if villain MC was the goal all along, no problem, but I got the impression you were trying to aim more for antihero in morality. IMO a lot of his actions and mindset were less "antihero" and more "sociopathic villain". I actually preferred him when he was with Offee since he seemed to be dialing back his crazy and acting a bit more normal and rational. With her dead I can only assume he'll lose whatever progress he made and plummet towards being edgelord.
at first I honestly thought that mc would bring ahsoka and anakin to the dark. if he did so with ahsoka than he could have a helper along on his future adventures. like every rick who has a Morty, give mc an evil ahsoka who will not only do what ever the mc says but also be good in bed stress reliever when he gets stress. plus there interactions were smoother compared to the forced one with offee. it'll also add some spice.
If he can create entire universes, creating a protocol inside of his body that when some emotions or hormones in the brain overflow like a limit of sadness, he can be sad that he lost and it won't activate but when a loved one dies and some hormones exceed others by a massive amount the protocol activates and will forcefully play the plans for the emotions that overflow like. And it will balance all hormones or emotions in a level state basically like a artificial Gamers Mind Anger- The most dangerous and malevolent devices that was created and will ever be created. Sadness- A device that will send memories and plans to prevent them from happening in the first place. etc.
