Snoring_Panda
im liking the game part of the story at the moment, but it has definitely taken a different path than the rest of the novel. i think it would be great to add in a twist to this part, and Ning will eventually find out what it is. Such as the "game" not actually being a game, and instead being another universe or something
The one complaint that I have is that it just feels like Ning is at the beginning again, learning how to use another system (the game interface), but the difference this time is that everyone else has basically the same system, so it feels like Ning has lost a bit of intrigue. Some people have suggested a twist like āthe game is actually a real place!ā But Iāve seen that before many times, and I donāt think it would feel much like a twist (it could still be interesting, though). My suggestion is to give Ningās energy system a bit more screen-time, or perhaps delve into how the gameās technology functions, and how Ning as an energy can interact with it differently from other players (this could apply to Saphandra as well).