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Comments of chapter undefined of The Place Where Everything Begins

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bobekun
bobekunLv11bobekun

Dialog sucks

NotStupidReader
NotStupidReaderAuthorNotStupidReader

I suck at dialogue

Hawk73
Hawk73Lv2Hawk73

I think it’s great. I think it would be a little better if the last bit had all been from Mitch’s perspective, switching perspectives too often breaks immersion imo. If Mitchell accidentally mentions coup, or Eddie references a coup aloud, it would still be funny

no_life
no_lifeLv4no_life

your doing great keep it up 👍