Very clever

I think it’s great. I think it would be a little better if the last bit had all been from Mitch’s perspective, switching perspectives too often breaks immersion imo. If Mitchell accidentally mentions coup, or Eddie references a coup aloud, it would still be funny

Hey there, nice chapter :) I think about the other guys critique it’s a bit harsh. I think there is a “show don’t tell” thing which is always hard to balance with writing fast and flowing through chapters like this which aren’t following the main character. For example, you say Mitch saved Eddie lots of times, but it isn’t really shown. You don’t show us Mitch and Eddie’s relationship, you tell it. You go from an omniscient authors viewpoint, which isn’t always bad, but it helps if you go from one character at a time to help the reader build rapport with the characters. If we see/feel Mitchell’s internal struggle between self-preservation and courage, see exactly when and how he saves Eddies life, and go from his perspective as the hellish battle continues and it gets to the end and some of the people have died while they were fighting for their lives, and then he inner monologues a bit of why he chose to throw his lot in with Eddie, whether it’s a decision he’s calculated or gone with his heart with. Anyway, I’m really enjoying it thus far, I’m trying to write my own thing but it’s really hard, so it’s easier to talk big than write big haha

Glass canon mage build

He should still be much stronger than everyone else, considering he is faster than Usain Bolt and stronger than a heavyweight boxer, and can meditate to condense 10hours of thought into a few seconds

I don’t know if you still read these, and feel free to ignore, but I think instead of JuSt GiVe ThEm To ME with alternating capitalisation, just capitalise the first letter of every word, or capitalise every letter. Maybe it’s just me, but alternating capitalisation reminds me of mocking sarcasm, while Just Give Them To Me feels more appropriate