Comments of chapter undefined of The Adventurer System

Is that even legal crippling someone without any consequences??

so this 13 year old child won a taekwondo tournament and his opponent most likely similar age went and asked his coach if it was okay to do so then proceeded to permanently cripple and nearly kill him. No criminal charges were placed or anything??

Ufortunately, I agree with the above comment. Your grammar is all over the place and, in fact, gets in the way of telling your story. You mix tenses and perspectives and lots of other things. I would suggest you try reading your story out loud. You would be surprised what you can uncover when you do so.

Good start but hope you can clarify what happened to His opponent he should definitely be in jail for assault and owe the mc a lot of money for hospitals bills and PT.

this premise is so stupid

wait so no one acted when he was being beaten and after that, no one jeered or apprehended drake or called the police???

i wonder if drake got caught or not..is there no law in this book?

you need to fix your grammar and spelling. Use free grammar programs, that would make it a lot more enjoyable to read.

had a hard time reading through. Maybe you should focus a little more on grammar

you need to seriously work in grammar

i cant help but feel like theres a big plot hole here since it was after the match and in my eyes his opponent assaulted him and crippled/ tried to kill him and nothing was done about it? is that how people run these world championships nowadays allowing people to get away with criminal offenses like that? even if he is under 18 that should still be a criminal offense just assault and battery with intent to kill/cripple is already jail/prison time and no one did anything about it?!?!?!?!?!!?

Let's give a try.

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not the worse grammar but not the best, if you have a little bit of cash, you can have someone proof read your material. overall I like the story so far

Hopefully you go back through this chapter and fix some typos, myabe autocorrect?

but the grammar needs brushing 🧐

this is going to be my first system. .. like book so far it's interesting character development is good and so is the world building

bro you need to work on yout spacing .. like seriously ..

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See this! I just gifted the story: Balloon