Comments of chapter undefined of Vanishing Embers

To answer your questions the chapter was a very fun read, I think you did well. I could tell what was going on except for the section where she was conversing with the thing in her mind around where she grabbed the demons leg, I had a bit of trouble following who was speaking. I think the amount of interpersonal dialogue you have going on is good, you seem to increase and decrease the amount of dialogue that happens depending on what is happening chapter to chapter which I like.