alienfrommars
Please don't take my comments the wrong way! I hope I provided some constructive criticisms. I had more but didn't want to muddy up your work with too many comments. A few more notes: The tense flip flops and makes it a little confusing. There are a few grammar mistakes and an overuse of commas. I wouldn't mind working with you! We could polish it together and I could help you figure out what's missing (hopefully!). Let me know <3
alienfrommars:You mean you want to proofread/edit my work? I don't have money to pay you, though. If that's fine, I would really appreciate your help. I'm bad at keeping tenses consistent. >.< You can send me a dm in discord alienfrommars#7498