Comments of chapter undefined of The Tale of the Void Emperor
The Tale of the Void Emperor
LivingVoid
Chapter comments71
These first two chapters desperately need some editing or the very least proofreading. Your syntax isn't horrid, but you're writing informally and there are lots of simple errors that you can correct easily. This being one of your first chapters makes it a big deal that you get the first five right. Most people will read your first five chapters to judge whether or not they will like it. I honestly skipped your prologue because I don't read those. The Earth portion doesn't matter, so I can't comment on the quality of your first chapter, but this one needs work. A lot of it could be improved by just running it through Grammarly or some other program. If you're looking for more feedback I'd recommend posting on Questionable Questing Forums and getting a discord or starting a Patreon. You certainly have something here, but the whole no affinity thing is not original. Defiance of the Fall on Royalroad is doing the same thing. Guess I'll reserve judgment on that until later. The whole switching perspective thing is a bad choice. If I were you I would rewrite these two chapters in a third-person perspective. Never break the flow. Verisimilitude and what the reader is meant to feel while reading should not be spoiled. Love the name choice by the way. I once looked into that one myself for some character names.
You should start from the beginning and edit towards where you are now. like OP said, the first handful of chapters matter so much—possibly more than any other chapter. I'm only continuing to give this a chance because it seems like you care about improving and that shows some amount of sincerity. Everyone who drops your novel before it gets edited though is an opportunity lost.
LivingVoid:Thank you for the valuable feedback :) yes....I've changed to 3rd person from chapter 6 and onward....and The no affinity thing is actually very minor because in this world, getting affinity is dirt cheap xD The difficulty lies in comprehending Intent to make your respective elemental energy stronger, and combing them to make unique concepts and birth altar spirits, etc for example: The planet that MC is staying is one of the lowest level of planets but when he goes to higher platform ( chapter 51) then he will know that its very easy to get affinities. The standard people first tries to comprehend Intent of any element like fire, water, Lightning, ice, mud, darkness etc. there are a lot of and if they can comprehend the intent then they will buy Affinity pill to get that affinity xD so its reverse in my novel. You will find out more if you read that there are certainly unique things regarding the power system in my novel. ( the title of the novel applies in later stage ) I hope you do give it a try and read all free chapters. Thank you. I've really need to improve in writing and i am trying that while i've also started using premium Grammarly after chapter 90 and edited first 2 chapters and im planning to edit the previous chapters later.
Revenge in the mc’s original world novels are always tricky. Because most of the time they go back to execute their revenge most readers have completely forgotten what it’s about. And the amount of time it takes often doesn’t make sense because dozens or hundreds of years have gone by. I’ll keep reading to see how it goes 🙃
