Zhanye
Feedback to author: I think you need to work on showing rather than telling the story bc to me some of it comes across as you informing us of what's happening rather than allowing us (the reader) to experience the world and characters your creating from your words if that makes any sense. Also I'm not trashing the story at all. I do enjoy it but would like to see you improve as a writer so that I can enjoy it more
For example using description to show how a character is feeling (maybe facial expressions or body language) which lets the reader use their own imagination to draw conclusions rather than telling us James thoughts directly. I'm not a author nor an expert at writing stories so the author can ignore about whatever I'm saying or reflect on it. Its up to them in the end.
SmilingPerson:I'm sorry I can't really understand what you mean by that, can plz enlighten me about the show part??