Comments of chapter undefined of IS IT LOVE?
IS IT LOVE?
Briana_Ebanks_8993
Chapter comments4
Okay, you have an interesting premise but you need to fix a few things. First of all, don't tell your reader what the protagonist looks like. That's an info dump. Those are bad. Give out little bits of information here and there. For the text messages, either use a different font or make them bold or italic or something like that, and then be consistent with them so your reader instantly knows it's a text message. Show me things, don't tell me. Show me the bus lurching to a stop belching out exhaust. Show me using sensory details what things look like, smell like etc. Finally, use 1st person past tense. So You could do something like this. "I hopped out of bed, dodged a pile of musty clothes and rushed to the bathroom to brush my teeth and get dressed." If you fix those errors, your book will be stronger. And don't forget to read your work out loud so you can hear it. Your ear will pick up errors.
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