Comments of chapter undefined of The Immortal's Wine Store
The Immortal's Wine Store
Malignant
Chapter comments308
MC: I'll just brew wine, I don't rlly care of no 1 comes system: WHAT IS THIS I'M NOT WORKING 4 FREE U KNOW!?! I'll make it a mission, u can't stay a lazy unknown bum. WORK HARD KIDDO
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Malignant
Cool gourmet in another world with wine instead of food/wine and a white cat instead of a black dog pretty similar charactization as bu fang as well but it only is the first chapter so who knows (shrugs) I honesly wouldn't be even be the slightest bit upset if it did turn out as a gourmet from another world clone as long as it's good. Hopeful the backstory you were trying to create is expanded upon as we progress lets see where this goes.
Good grammar and spelling. Sentence structure could use some improvement as it doesnât flow very well. It feels like there is quite a bit of stop/starting going on. History dump was a bit bland, but nothing too bad and also some obvious things do not need repetition like the strength of the legion. Would be good to know the relevance however. I can tell this is inspired heavily by Gourmet in Another World, but hope you learn from the many MANY problems and cliches it has and avoid them.
