xlntz
imma be straightforward with you... the translation is almost unreadable... I have to physically pause many times just to try and decipher the way it's supposed to be read... You keep changing from past, present, and future terminology at random... gender was mixed up at least once... and there are places where you added unnecessary words. all in all, the story is ok... not gonna judge it too roughly since I've not read any further than this yet, but the grammar is atrocious... spelling is perfectly fine, but do take care in rereading your own story to ensure proper reading quality assurance... or hire someone to do it for you.